The trunk of the car
In amongst the groceries
Lord, Richard Simmons!
by Oldie of Sweating
Living your best life
Living large, dressed to the nines
Epic shoplifting
by Frugalista of Out the door
The call is for you
Some Hollywood director
You're going places
by Star of Hollywood
Being Buddha sucks
Intestinal blockage bloat
Stuck sitting so still
Hear me out on this
Depict perpetual bliss
Toilet under him
by Brainstorming
No shortage of Spooge
The very dawn of mankind
A Giant Spoogeball
by Carl of Cosmos
VHS will sigh,
I wish I had been nicer
To those millionaires
by Millionaire of Bank
You are a genius
Yes, we will be millionaires
Lower sneeze freeze pop
by Some would even say it glowed of On the way to the bank
Did Buddha jack off
after his enlightenment?
If so, did it glow?
I'm asking because
I want to refill glow sticks
for kids to play with.
Popular Thai toy.
Glowing sticks of Buddha spooge.
Drink it when you're done.
by Brother Figpucker of Smoking the Black Lotus
My vagina's name
I call it Miss Chewbacca
A friend of Han Solo
by Uncanny resemblance
Perpetual smile
And another one down there
It's cunnilingus!
by Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt of Cunt
Just a few more words
Poems to brighten your day
Have an awesome day!
by Perky poet
Heard of Papa Smurf?
Allow me to introduce
The Great papa schmear
by Old blue balls
You ought to know
Standing at my dishwasher
Just ate a bagel
by Sk of Dishwasher portal
Good one, Starkitten!
Changed the lox and litter box.
Made me fucking laugh.
by df
Okay, Stan, no prob.
The Devil would never lie.
So you must be he.
by Flawless logic.
It was all kosher
Rabbi's wife's kosher dildo
Schmear with her bagel
by Starkitten of I've changed the lox
Ok, this is Stan
Settle down there Figpucker
I am the DEVIL
by Stan of Hell
Behold: Jesus flesh!
A bit old -- salmonella.
But better than Spam.
by df
Like an abused wife,
You'll crawl back, begging for more.
And I'll flop it out.
by df -- reaching new depths just like James Cameron of with his camera on
Behold: spaghetti.
no semolina half-truth
but Christ's love made flesh
by Monstrous Lies of Damnable Human Beings
'Tis I, Figpucker.
Been putting marijuana
in Girl Scout cookies.
by df
Girl scouts? That title
is itself quite divisive
and gender-rigid.
by Virtue Signals of Absent Virtue
''Tis I, Starkitten
Been eating Girl Scout cookies
Nom nom nom nom nom
by Star kitty
For you're a zombie
Sleeping seagulls, double bed
Reverend Blue Jeans
by Easton Parton & Diamond of Mondegreen Ltd
Spaghetti Monster
You pushed me over the edge
The bottomless pit
by Al Dente of Mangia mangia mangia
I'm giving it up
There just isn't any point
Good luck with your life and the rest of the year and the first half of the day tomorrow and the other side of the moon and back to the future and down the road to recovery and here and there and everywhere and every which way but loose
by C Ya
Paranormal goats
invisible tin cans. clang!
Hella annoying!
by Trouble sleeping
Truck driver haiku
Someone's tied up in the back
5 syllable horn
by Mack
Dear Darth Figpucker,
Take a break from your hard work
Come see my etchings
by M. C. Etcher of Upstairs
Beavis recites:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiztNZ3KdvA
by Anonymous Poet
Spaghetti monster
in the sky with a side
of hot garlic bread.
by df
If I had a soul,
I'd trade it for some coffee.
Too much work to do.
by df
Wrong medication
But has pleasant side effects
Hard ons and poems
by Anonymous Poet
Good luck with haiku
Mine always gets so hairy
Oily residue
by Beautiful of Don't hate me cause I'm
Visit my museum
Curated foul body odors
We're always open
by Stinky
Round triangle shit?
I guess that would have to be . . .
Your next haiku verse !
by Haikusenryutankahaibunhaigarenga of Lyrical Outhouse
Just ordered pizza
What is round, then triangle
Shit out as a log?
by Riddler
Quick, get your pants on
Someone's knocking at the door
17 Feet tall!!
by Running of The other way
To Darth I would say:
"See you in hell" except that
I will not be there.
by Stench of Blasphemy
steaming up the car
Hot automobile coitus
Hey, Get a garage!
by Lightning McQueen of Pre-jac City
God is a big god
A real big bad daddy-o
Well, Almighty Then!!!!
by Clown of Shitter
God has been on point
The big question of the day
When will He smite us?
by Puny human
When you wake with wood
Get your priorities straight
Fear the termite
by Bugsy
Bad ju ju they said
when I picked up the onion
And broke the window
by Major League Asshole of Mound
Just looked in toilet
My next haiku is complete
I'll just leave it here
by Pooet of Wiz here
Brexit means Brexit.
But what the fuck does that mean?
We have no idea.
by Brexit is a pile of shite
The worst sin of all
is enjambment in haiku
like a train orgy.
Each end connected
to the other like a long
VD conductor.
by Forgive me, Lord Basho, King of Geeks.
Jesus forgive me
for all the horrible things
I've haikued about.
And for using the
word haiku in the past tense
as though it's a verb.
Unforgivable.
I guess I'm going to hell.
I'll make it worth it.
*Jerks off on Bible*.
Like A Clockwork Orange movie.
The book was better.
by df
Talking to myself
Now, arguing with myself
Leave, and don't come back!
by Noticer of Details of Curb
Monkey meat meltdown
Pervert flying carpet ride
Pilot Mardones
by Look up of Up
