Quick, get your pants on
Someone's knocking at the door
17 Feet tall!!

To Darth I would say:
"See you in hell" except that
I will not be there.

steaming up the car
Hot automobile coitus
Hey, Get a garage!

God is a big god
A real big bad daddy-o
Well, Almighty Then!!!!

God has been on point
The big question of the day
When will He smite us?

When you wake with wood
Get your priorities straight
Fear the termite

Bad ju ju they said
when I picked up the onion
And broke the window

Just looked in toilet
My next haiku is complete
I'll just leave it here

Brexit means Brexit.
But what the fuck does that mean?
We have no idea.

The worst sin of all
is enjambment in haiku
like a train orgy.

Each end connected
to the other like a long
VD conductor.

Jesus forgive me
for all the horrible things
I've haikued about.

And for using the
word haiku in the past tense
as though it's a verb.

Unforgivable.
I guess I'm going to hell.
I'll make it worth it.

*Jerks off on Bible*.
Like A Clockwork Orange movie.
The book was better.

Talking to myself
Now, arguing with myself
Leave, and don't come back!

Monkey meat meltdown
Pervert flying carpet ride
Pilot Mardones

Do not be faithless.
I absolutely believe.
in absolute hate.

Virtual IP.
I have to use it for work
logged in for clients.

And for monkey porn.
Would you like my home address?
Watch me masturbate?

Stores run by monkeys.
They can never find the price.
So they can't sell stuff.

I walk out hungry.
But I saved a bit of cash.
Monkey meat tonight?

'Anonymous Poet'
is data-driven robot
algorithm. Beep.

Despite what they say,
rats do not taste very good.
BBQ sauce helps.

Invisible man.
Fairy tales and miracles.
Ancient and silly.

Where's your vagina?
My God, it sealed itself up!
Now that's rejection.

Stepped in that one time
Hot steaming pile of Dzogchen
Not soon forgotten

Preserve your tig le
Don't fool with sexy chicas.
That is dangerous.

Dzogchen is better
You are empty like the world
Best not forget it.

sociopaths...

I'm on vacation
My luggage is somewhere else
I wish my wife was

Existing is hard
Never mind trying to live
That just might kill me

We should go on strike
None of us signed up for this
Give us a break, God

Don't believe the squirrels.
They'll say anything for treats.
No, you're not sexy.

Dressing up my cat
This baby bonnet looks cute
Cats look good in pink

My psychiatrist
Told me to express myself
By writing haiku

God thinks he's the boss
Just makes me want to moon
him
CNN
Silly foolishness

Poetry is fun
A little voice inside me
Could be a demon

You think I'm catholic?
To hell with that fake Pope "church".
Just give me the Truth.

Have you heard my tweets
in the middle of the night
A strange bird, indeed

i dont post here much anymore
and when you tell me to be faithless
its depressing, and to listen to an
on line stranger, why bother? if i ignore this you shrug and keep on posting

I don't get haiku.
What is the purpose of it?
I don't feel the "zen".

How big is God's cunt?
Is it bigger than Cuntfart's?
I kind of doubt it.

Inside my birds nest
Watch my beak with each bird snore
Beak beak beak beak beak

Bed and the big ones
Who keep everyone awake
The entire night

Toasted wheat bagel.
Lox, onion, tomato, and,
of course, the cream cheese.

Though quite minuscule,
my cock won't fit your nostril.
...What the hell -- let's try!

Next, onion bagel
I will toast it for a bit
Spread on some cream cheese

Fight amongst yourselves
Gonna sit here and pig out
I could eat a horse

Church would be better
If priests dressed like gorillas
Banana chip hosts

heavenly father
Deadbeat sky dad in the clouds
Thanks for nothing, dad

the ones who do not
get it say those who get it
don't get it, so GET

You get a boner
Sometimes during Sunday Mass
Look at my steeple!

There's no life to come.
Hell and heaven are not real.
This is all you get.

Enjoy it or don't.
Hump reality's fat leg,
you little poodle.

There is no karma.
No one gets what they deserve.
All they do is get.

Well, except for you.
You just don't get anything.
So keep on praying.

Dry hump the cross, too
Anal rosary lovebeads
Holy water lube

A touchy subject
President Bonespurs patriot
Dry humper of Flag!!

An unclean spirit
must be what possesses you,
talking shit all day...

Dry hump dry hump flag
Ejaculate on the flag
Wipe your ass with it