Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 45 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

To Darth I would say:
"See you in hell" except that
I will not be there.
Haiku # 62712, March 6, 2019 9:40 pm ET
by Stench of Blasphemy
steaming up the car
Hot automobile coitus
Hey, Get a garage!
Haiku # 62711, March 6, 2019 8:24 pm ET
by Lightning McQueen of Pre-jac City
God is a big god
A real big bad daddy-o
Well, Almighty Then!!!!
Haiku # 62710, March 6, 2019 8:20 pm ET
by Clown of Shitter
God has been on point
The big question of the day
When will He smite us?
Haiku # 62709, March 6, 2019 8:17 pm ET
by Puny human
When you wake with wood
Get your priorities straight
Fear the termite
Haiku # 62708, March 6, 2019 8:15 pm ET
by Bugsy
Bad ju ju they said
when I picked up the onion
And broke the window
Haiku # 62707, March 6, 2019 8:13 pm ET
by Major League Asshole of Mound
Just looked in toilet
My next haiku is complete
I'll just leave it here
Haiku # 62706, March 6, 2019 8:04 pm ET
by Pooet of Wiz here
Brexit means Brexit.
But what the fuck does that mean?
We have no idea.
Haiku # 62705, March 6, 2019 6:54 pm ET
by Brexit is a pile of shite
The worst sin of all
is enjambment in haiku
like a train orgy.

Each end connected
to the other like a long
VD conductor.
Haiku # 62704, March 6, 2019 6:30 pm ET
by Forgive me, Lord Basho, King of Geeks.
Jesus forgive me
for all the horrible things
I've haikued about.

And for using the
word haiku in the past tense
as though it's a verb.

Unforgivable.
I guess I'm going to hell.
I'll make it worth it.

*Jerks off on Bible*.
Like A Clockwork Orange movie.
The book was better.
Haiku # 62703, March 6, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by df
Talking to myself
Now, arguing with myself
Leave, and don't come back!
Haiku # 62702, March 6, 2019 2:43 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Curb
Monkey meat meltdown
Pervert flying carpet ride
Pilot Mardones
Haiku # 62701, March 6, 2019 2:10 pm ET
by Look up of Up
Do not be faithless.
I absolutely believe.
in absolute hate.
Haiku # 62700, March 6, 2019 10:17 am ET
by df
Virtual IP.
I have to use it for work
logged in for clients.

And for monkey porn.
Would you like my home address?
Watch me masturbate?
Haiku # 62699, March 6, 2019 10:10 am ET
by df
Stores run by monkeys.
They can never find the price.
So they can't sell stuff.

I walk out hungry.
But I saved a bit of cash.
Monkey meat tonight?
Haiku # 62698, March 6, 2019 10:06 am ET
by df
'Anonymous Poet'
is data-driven robot
algorithm. Beep.
Haiku # 62697, March 6, 2019 8:10 am ET
by CX171943-A6 of Alternate IP address
Despite what they say,
rats do not taste very good.
BBQ sauce helps.
Haiku # 62696, March 6, 2019 4:06 am ET
by Gordon Ramsey
Invisible man.
Fairy tales and miracles.
Ancient and silly.
Haiku # 62695, March 6, 2019 4:03 am ET
by And WE are sociopaths?
Where's your vagina?
My God, it sealed itself up!
Now that's rejection.
Haiku # 62694, March 6, 2019 4:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Stepped in that one time
Hot steaming pile of Dzogchen
Not soon forgotten
Haiku # 62693, March 6, 2019 2:07 am ET
by Llama Dolly of Alpaca 2 Go
Preserve your tig le
Don't fool with sexy chicas.
That is dangerous.

Dzogchen is better
You are empty like the world
Best not forget it.
Haiku # 62692, March 6, 2019 1:58 am ET
by Rolang of 7734
sociopaths...
Haiku # 62691, March 5, 2019 10:51 pm ET
by vhs
I'm on vacation
My luggage is somewhere else
I wish my wife was
Haiku # 62690, March 5, 2019 10:11 pm ET
by Somewhere Elsa of Frozen
Existing is hard
Never mind trying to live
That just might kill me
Haiku # 62689, March 5, 2019 7:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
We should go on strike
None of us signed up for this
Give us a break, God
Haiku # 62688, March 5, 2019 7:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Don't believe the squirrels.
They'll say anything for treats.
No, you're not sexy.
Haiku # 62687, March 5, 2019 7:38 pm ET
by Selfie, selfie, on the phone.
Dressing up my cat
This baby bonnet looks cute
Cats look good in pink
Haiku # 62686, March 5, 2019 5:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My psychiatrist
Told me to express myself
By writing haiku
Haiku # 62685, March 5, 2019 4:26 pm ET
by Crazy 8 of Couch
God thinks he's the boss
Just makes me want to moon
him
CNN
Silly foolishness
Haiku # 62684, March 5, 2019 12:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Poetry is fun
A little voice inside me
Could be a demon
Haiku # 62683, March 5, 2019 12:10 pm ET
by Poet
You think I'm catholic?
To hell with that fake Pope "church".
Just give me the Truth.
Haiku # 62682, March 5, 2019 11:49 am ET
by Darkest Hour of Just Before Dawn
Have you heard my tweets
in the middle of the night
A strange bird, indeed
Haiku # 62681, March 5, 2019 11:33 am ET
by Dodo
i dont post here much anymore
and when you tell me to be faithless
its depressing, and to listen to an
on line stranger, why bother? if i ignore this you shrug and keep on posting
Haiku # 62680, March 5, 2019 7:42 am ET
by vhs
I don't get haiku.
What is the purpose of it?
I don't feel the "zen".

How big is God's cunt?
Is it bigger than Cuntfart's?
I kind of doubt it.
Haiku # 62679, March 5, 2019 6:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Inside my birds nest
Watch my beak with each bird snore
Beak beak beak beak beak
Haiku # 62678, March 5, 2019 4:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bed and the big ones
Who keep everyone awake
The entire night
Haiku # 62677, March 5, 2019 4:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Toasted wheat bagel.
Lox, onion, tomato, and,
of course, the cream cheese.
Haiku # 62676, March 5, 2019 3:50 am ET
by Oy vay, already yet!
Though quite minuscule,
my cock won't fit your nostril.
...What the hell -- let's try!
Haiku # 62675, March 5, 2019 3:47 am ET
by df
Next, onion bagel
I will toast it for a bit
Spread on some cream cheese
Haiku # 62674, March 5, 2019 1:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fight amongst yourselves
Gonna sit here and pig out
I could eat a horse
Haiku # 62673, March 5, 2019 1:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Church would be better
If priests dressed like gorillas
Banana chip hosts
Haiku # 62672, March 5, 2019 12:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
heavenly father
Deadbeat sky dad in the clouds
Thanks for nothing, dad
Haiku # 62671, March 5, 2019 12:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
the ones who do not
get it say those who get it
don't get it, so GET
Haiku # 62670, March 5, 2019 12:23 am ET
by vhs
You get a boner
Sometimes during Sunday Mass
Look at my steeple!
Haiku # 62669, March 5, 2019 12:20 am ET
by Father Longdong
There's no life to come.
Hell and heaven are not real.
This is all you get.

Enjoy it or don't.
Hump reality's fat leg,
you little poodle.

There is no karma.
No one gets what they deserve.
All they do is get.

Well, except for you.
You just don't get anything.
So keep on praying.
Haiku # 62668, March 4, 2019 11:43 pm ET
by
Dry hump the cross, too
Anal rosary lovebeads
Holy water lube
Haiku # 62667, March 4, 2019 5:23 pm ET
by Big Orange Fuckwad
A touchy subject
President Bonespurs patriot
Dry humper of Flag!!
Haiku # 62666, March 4, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
An unclean spirit
must be what possesses you,
talking shit all day...
Haiku # 62665, March 4, 2019 5:15 pm ET
by Begone from him in Jesus' Name
Dry hump dry hump flag
Ejaculate on the flag
Wipe your ass with it
Haiku # 62664, March 4, 2019 5:06 pm ET
by President Bone Spurs of Raciest Con Man Cheat Pervert
Greetings from the mayor
Warm welcome to Toilet Town
Poopulation: 2
Haiku # 62663, March 4, 2019 4:24 pm ET
by Mare pronounced like horse of Toilet Town. County Seat
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >