I don't get haiku.
What is the purpose of it?
I don't feel the "zen".

How big is God's cunt?
Is it bigger than Cuntfart's?
I kind of doubt it.

Inside my birds nest
Watch my beak with each bird snore
Beak beak beak beak beak

Bed and the big ones
Who keep everyone awake
The entire night

Toasted wheat bagel.
Lox, onion, tomato, and,
of course, the cream cheese.

Though quite minuscule,
my cock won't fit your nostril.
...What the hell -- let's try!

Next, onion bagel
I will toast it for a bit
Spread on some cream cheese

Fight amongst yourselves
Gonna sit here and pig out
I could eat a horse

Church would be better
If priests dressed like gorillas
Banana chip hosts

heavenly father
Deadbeat sky dad in the clouds
Thanks for nothing, dad

the ones who do not
get it say those who get it
don't get it, so GET

You get a boner
Sometimes during Sunday Mass
Look at my steeple!

There's no life to come.
Hell and heaven are not real.
This is all you get.

Enjoy it or don't.
Hump reality's fat leg,
you little poodle.

There is no karma.
No one gets what they deserve.
All they do is get.

Well, except for you.
You just don't get anything.
So keep on praying.

Dry hump the cross, too
Anal rosary lovebeads
Holy water lube

A touchy subject
President Bonespurs patriot
Dry humper of Flag!!

An unclean spirit
must be what possesses you,
talking shit all day...

Dry hump dry hump flag
Ejaculate on the flag
Wipe your ass with it

Greetings from the mayor
Warm welcome to Toilet Town
Poopulation: 2

someone is real...as
someone does this and that
this place is still, real.

If Darth ain't real
then who wrote those weird e-books?
Those psychotic screeds?

Darth aint even real
A Figpuckerment
Imagination

A wonderful world
Everyone is so happy
It is amazing

Darth gets everything
he well deserves. In THIS life
and in that to come.

Hot back end lava
Hit lavatory paydirt
Old faithful geyser

Middle of the night
Going to lay a large coil
Most inconvenient

Extra thin slice, please
New penis Charcuterie
You can t beat our meat

Howz your pecker?
Any meat left to the bone?
Have you sucked it dry?

How are you today,
you lovers of fine poetry
and other art forms!

In the beginning we were all fish
swimming around in the water.
And then one day a couple
of fish had a retard baby
and the retard baby was
different so it got to live.
The retard fish goes on to
make more retard babies.
And then one day a retard baby
fish crawled out of the ocean
with its... mutant fish hands
and it had butt sex with a
squirrel or something and it
made this... retard frog squirell.
And then that had a retard baby
which was a monkey-fish-frog.
And then this monkey-fish-frog
had butt sex with that monkey
and that monkey had a mutant
retard baby and screwed another
monkey and that made you.
So there you go.
You're the retarded offspring
of five monkeys having butt
sex with a fish-squirrel.
Congratulations.

gastropod anus.
or sticky anemones.
venomous; tempting.

Fornicating corn
Ejaculating jack fruit
"Cantaloupe tonight

Was it good for you?
Whispered in the tattered ear
American Flag

Dark cavernous cunt
Drip! Stalactites, Stalagmites
Ask me, I just might

Cephalopod wank
High pitched octogasmic screams
Number 8 Fleshlight

A little bit weird
Coating your erect penis
With Rice Krispie Treats

If the plane crashes
Big tunafied vagina
Asphyxiation

Club to the noggin
Half hanging out of our cave
Suck!, wooly mammoth!

The great Cunts of Yor!
Dripping and gonorrheic.
Ne'er mind the yeast.

Thund'rous clapping sounds
Breaking up the blockages
To let the seed flow.

Lava for urine.
Or so it would seem as such.
Sire a fire demon.

The whore's blind children
run amok like animals,
shites hither and yon.

Laverne and Shirley
Add penises and hair grease
Lenny and Squiggy

Inquire within
Ask yourself a few questions
Answering service

Got my eye on you
Micromanaging your moves
Minding your business

I

A sexy hot girl
sat next to me on the bus.
And then I worried.

"Don't get a boner".
I kept thinking to myself.
She got a boner.

A sexy hot girl
Red dress parasol- nice azz
Sat down next to me

Rabbit bus - pinay
Cleavage- oh yeah! big valley
No! don't eat balut!

So this is the end
The last haiku I will write
Until the next one

The secret to life
Don t forget to wipe your ass
Always wear a smile

The secret to life
Don

Men have penises?
Hateful cisgender bigot.
Stop spreading such lies.

For generations
The men in our family
Have had penises

Absentmindedly
Fondling big gooey rum balls
Set tree up again

Good old Fart of War
Best horse since Seattle Slew
Methane gas ASSist