Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

i get stone temple pilots
and social justice warriors
mixed up sometimes, maybe
a band called social justice
warriors needs to come out and
put the so called justice warriors
to get offended and then egg them on when their attempts at intimidation cease to work, the doxxing, the shaming, look in the mirror they see blue hair
Haiku # 58836, August 18, 2018 10:00 pm ET
by vhs
I've officially lost it
stupid bitch in a cafe got
all wound up when i said
I voted for trump and the lady said no i can't take it then i walked down the street wondering if that old boomer
geezer wondered if i should off myself over it and would ever think because of that convo i began to not value my own life
Haiku # 58835, August 18, 2018 9:58 pm ET
by vhs
and for fuck sakes if
donald trump turns water into wine
and these drugged out hippie-o-crits
start burning the flag, claiming they hate america...well for fuck sakes when these assholes actually
experience world war three or some other horrid event, they'll be crying for real rather than the retarded mock crying of xanax
let them have their own "cannibalism" by eating themselves
Haiku # 58834, August 18, 2018 9:56 pm ET
by vhs
so if i get these
paranoid hints in my mind whilst
real life is jabbering around me
clueless to what i do on line
and i get irritated with the real life drama of vanilla people whilst dealing with "thrilling" people on line, which fucking
one am i escaping from?
Haiku # 58833, August 18, 2018 9:52 pm ET
by vhs
man i just get tired of this
stuff when i think it might
affect me in real life
and threaten the ones i love
because i think the person on
the other end might really be nuts
Haiku # 58832, August 18, 2018 9:51 pm ET
by vhs
Try our Phish and Chips
We only have one waitress
Fast enough for you?
Haiku # 58831, August 18, 2018 8:32 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Piping hot for you...
John, Paul, George, and Ringo too
Splendid Beatle Stew!
Haiku # 58830, August 18, 2018 8:12 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Cultures that can claim
exquisite culinary
delights piss me off.
Haiku # 58829, August 18, 2018 8:06 pm ET
by How dare they?!?! of Not in Trump-land.
Grasshoppers taste good.
Scorpions have a nice crunch.
Tarantulas... Nope!
Haiku # 58828, August 18, 2018 7:58 pm ET
by df
Ok, Just got here
Please tell me where to park my
Big pink bathysphere
Haiku # 58827, August 18, 2018 7:39 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
I don't do windows.
I'll wear a smile, nothing more
Knock, Knock, on your door
Haiku # 58826, August 18, 2018 6:49 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Blood spills with rigor
Quiet noise emerged at last
Fall reaching nothing
Haiku # 58825, August 18, 2018 6:27 pm ET
by [redacted]
come to my window
im not a lesbian but
i'll be home soon...i'll..
Haiku # 58824, August 18, 2018 5:30 pm ET
by vhs
Lay down on my couch
The Libido's cathexis
Bad haiku connects us
Haiku # 58823, August 18, 2018 12:19 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Psychological Services PH.D
hmm anima and
animus our enema
letting it all out
Haiku # 58822, August 18, 2018 9:03 am ET
by vhs of freud would shit, jung would write another red book
Do fish get boners?
Quick, Hop in my bathysphere
Please wear something sheer.
Haiku # 58821, August 18, 2018 8:24 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Let's ask Jacques Cousteau
Please give his shell phone a blow
Perhaps he would know
Haiku # 58820, August 18, 2018 7:25 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest smoking legal seaweed
When dolphins beat off
do they spank their sea monkeys?
Asking for a friend.
Haiku # 58819, August 18, 2018 4:44 am ET
by just kidding, I have no freinds.
I ate four cans of
alphabet soup and had a
huge vowel movement.
Haiku # 58818, August 18, 2018 4:41 am ET
by df
No wagering, folks.
LIVE: Simon and Garfunkel
Cage Fight to the Death!
Haiku # 58817, August 18, 2018 1:18 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Tale of Two Shitties
Eat Alphabet Soup daily
Poop out a novel
Haiku # 58816, August 18, 2018 12:34 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
ive heard of eating
my heart out but this is all
rediculous soup
Haiku # 58815, August 17, 2018 11:00 pm ET
by vhs
Copenhagen Chew
Wash it down with Human Stew
That tastes just like you

The
Haiku # 58814, August 17, 2018 9:40 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
i wonder what kind
of milkshake you make to bring
kaiju to the yard

you could teach me but
you'd have to charge
Haiku # 58813, August 17, 2018 8:05 pm ET
by vhs
Catch a Lake Monster
A sprinkle of my Phish Food
Brings Champ to the yard
Haiku # 58812, August 17, 2018 6:45 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
ask Him about sea
monkeys...use them as fish food
then buy some phish food
Haiku # 58811, August 17, 2018 8:58 am ET
by vhs of i love ben n jerrys
If God answers you
Complain about Sea Monkeys
Not worth the money!!
Haiku # 58810, August 17, 2018 7:31 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
either that or i
need to shut off satans door
and talk to God, in

private...

the upper room prayer center
Haiku # 58809, August 17, 2018 6:13 am ET
by vhs
disturbing...i think
we need to break our phones and
smash all our tablets
Haiku # 58808, August 17, 2018 6:08 am ET
by vhs of smash the death of privacy
Measurements of bore
seminal viscosity
in situ Batman.
Haiku # 58807, August 17, 2018 3:19 am ET
by just because
Who would have thunk it?
World War Three set in motion
Over spilled birdseed
Haiku # 58806, August 17, 2018 12:28 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
meh, waiting for the
end times to do their thing
pray for those dummies

marching under the
antifa flag, they're going to
hell if they're not saved
Haiku # 58805, August 16, 2018 10:35 pm ET
by vhs
Not the same kitty
But I will play with your balls
Of yarn all night long
Haiku # 58804, August 16, 2018 9:14 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
if i know me i
knew a starkitten on a
sub dom site but once...

I don't think you are her
Haiku # 58803, August 16, 2018 7:28 pm ET
by vhs
So come as you are
Bigfoot wrote all the lyrics
Punch the jukebox, Fonz!
Haiku # 58802, August 16, 2018 12:01 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
pearls jammed, nirvanaed...
trees screamed, melvinesd, alice
was in all chained
Haiku # 58801, August 16, 2018 8:52 am ET
by vhs of a real soundgarden out there
The Haiku Hotel
You'll sleep just like a baby
Room five seven five.
Haiku # 58800, August 15, 2018 11:06 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
confused drafts in
a confused time, sleeping in
older, not wiser
Haiku # 58799, August 15, 2018 8:55 pm ET
by vhs
life should be fun...and
i guess that is the best way to
resist evil...live
Haiku # 58798, August 15, 2018 8:49 am ET
by vhs
some domme told me to
forget tv white noise and
to do my own thing
Haiku # 58797, August 15, 2018 8:42 am ET
by vhs
existential bores
play chess in their minds retreat
from the world gone mad
Haiku # 58796, August 14, 2018 7:09 am ET
by vhs
Lighten up, Mister
We can ring doorbells and run
Shouldn't life be fun?
Haiku # 58795, August 13, 2018 8:21 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
cram so much in a
day to make up for fucking
around when younger
Haiku # 58794, August 13, 2018 9:04 am ET
by vhs of rewind, canna do
Instead of "Hello!"
Try Hitachi Magic Wand
Best Wal⭐️Mart greeter
Haiku # 58793, August 12, 2018 9:07 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
damn it, that only
means i have to get a new one
at wal mart sooner...
Haiku # 58792, August 12, 2018 8:20 pm ET
by vhs of i don't know if they have detatchables in sporting goods...
Don't even bother
They'll only disappoint you
God Damn sea monkeys
Haiku # 58791, August 12, 2018 8:00 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Pardon me, Mister
Your detachable penis
Attached to my heart
Haiku # 58790, August 12, 2018 6:57 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Here's the cold hard truth
He stopped loving her today
Refill Viagra
Haiku # 58789, August 12, 2018 6:50 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
well i wont be rocking
the jukebox on the way to
work this new morning
Haiku # 58788, August 12, 2018 8:46 am ET
by vhs of i wanna hear george jones
"Just punch the jukebox
And I'll be down on my knees."
Thank you, Mrs. C.
Haiku # 58787, August 12, 2018 5:02 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
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