BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
283 Days
and
65626 Haikus
later...
Blood spills with rigor
Quiet noise emerged at last
Fall reaching nothing
Haiku #58825, by [redacted]
August 18, 2018 6:27 pm ET

come to my window
im not a lesbian but
i'll be home soon...i'll..
Haiku #58824, by vhs
August 18, 2018 5:30 pm ET

Lay down on my couch
The Libido's cathexis
Bad haiku connects us
Haiku #58823, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Psychological Services PH.D
August 18, 2018 12:19 pm ET

hmm anima and
animus our enema
letting it all out
Haiku #58822, by vhs of freud would shit, jung would write another red book
August 18, 2018 9:03 am ET

Do fish get boners?
Quick, Hop in my bathysphere
Please wear something sheer.
Haiku #58821, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 18, 2018 8:24 am ET

Let's ask Jacques Cousteau
Please give his shell phone a blow
Perhaps he would know
Haiku #58820, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest smoking legal seaweed
August 18, 2018 7:25 am ET

When dolphins beat off
do they spank their sea monkeys?
Asking for a friend.
Haiku #58819, by just kidding, I have no freinds.
August 18, 2018 4:44 am ET

I ate four cans of
alphabet soup and had a
huge vowel movement.
Haiku #58818, by df
August 18, 2018 4:41 am ET

No wagering, folks.
LIVE: Simon and Garfunkel
Cage Fight to the Death!
Haiku #58817, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 18, 2018 1:18 am ET

Tale of Two Shitties
Eat Alphabet Soup daily
Poop out a novel
Haiku #58816, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 18, 2018 12:34 am ET

ive heard of eating
my heart out but this is all
rediculous soup
Haiku #58815, by vhs
August 17, 2018 11:00 pm ET

Copenhagen Chew
Wash it down with Human Stew
That tastes just like you

The
Haiku #58814, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 17, 2018 9:40 pm ET

i wonder what kind
of milkshake you make to bring
kaiju to the yard

you could teach me but
you'd have to charge
Haiku #58813, by vhs
August 17, 2018 8:05 pm ET

Catch a Lake Monster
A sprinkle of my Phish Food
Brings Champ to the yard
Haiku #58812, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 17, 2018 6:45 pm ET

ask Him about sea
monkeys...use them as fish food
then buy some phish food
Haiku #58811, by vhs of i love ben n jerrys
August 17, 2018 8:58 am ET

If God answers you
Complain about Sea Monkeys
Not worth the money!!
Haiku #58810, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 17, 2018 7:31 am ET

either that or i
need to shut off satans door
and talk to God, in

private...

the upper room prayer center
Haiku #58809, by vhs
August 17, 2018 6:13 am ET

disturbing...i think
we need to break our phones and
smash all our tablets
Haiku #58808, by vhs of smash the death of privacy
August 17, 2018 6:08 am ET

Measurements of bore
seminal viscosity
in situ Batman.
Haiku #58807, by just because
August 17, 2018 3:19 am ET

Who would have thunk it?
World War Three set in motion
Over spilled birdseed
Haiku #58806, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 17, 2018 12:28 am ET

meh, waiting for the
end times to do their thing
pray for those dummies

marching under the
antifa flag, they're going to
hell if they're not saved
Haiku #58805, by vhs
August 16, 2018 10:35 pm ET

Not the same kitty
But I will play with your balls
Of yarn all night long
Haiku #58804, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 16, 2018 9:14 pm ET

if i know me i
knew a starkitten on a
sub dom site but once...

I don't think you are her
Haiku #58803, by vhs
August 16, 2018 7:28 pm ET

So come as you are
Bigfoot wrote all the lyrics
Punch the jukebox, Fonz!
Haiku #58802, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 16, 2018 12:01 pm ET

pearls jammed, nirvanaed...
trees screamed, melvinesd, alice
was in all chained
Haiku #58801, by vhs of a real soundgarden out there
August 16, 2018 8:52 am ET

The Haiku Hotel
You'll sleep just like a baby
Room five seven five.
Haiku #58800, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 15, 2018 11:06 pm ET

confused drafts in
a confused time, sleeping in
older, not wiser
Haiku #58799, by vhs
August 15, 2018 8:55 pm ET

life should be fun...and
i guess that is the best way to
resist evil...live
Haiku #58798, by vhs
August 15, 2018 8:49 am ET

some domme told me to
forget tv white noise and
to do my own thing
Haiku #58797, by vhs
August 15, 2018 8:42 am ET

existential bores
play chess in their minds retreat
from the world gone mad
Haiku #58796, by vhs
August 14, 2018 7:09 am ET

Lighten up, Mister
We can ring doorbells and run
Shouldn't life be fun?
Haiku #58795, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 13, 2018 8:21 pm ET

cram so much in a
day to make up for fucking
around when younger
Haiku #58794, by vhs of rewind, canna do
August 13, 2018 9:04 am ET

Instead of "Hello!"
Try Hitachi Magic Wand
Best Wal⭐️Mart greeter
Haiku #58793, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 9:07 pm ET

damn it, that only
means i have to get a new one
at wal mart sooner...
Haiku #58792, by vhs of i don't know if they have detatchables in sporting goods...
August 12, 2018 8:20 pm ET

Don't even bother
They'll only disappoint you
God Damn sea monkeys
Haiku #58791, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 8:00 pm ET

Pardon me, Mister
Your detachable penis
Attached to my heart
Haiku #58790, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 6:57 pm ET

Here's the cold hard truth
He stopped loving her today
Refill Viagra
Haiku #58789, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 6:50 pm ET

well i wont be rocking
the jukebox on the way to
work this new morning
Haiku #58788, by vhs of i wanna hear george jones
August 12, 2018 8:46 am ET

"Just punch the jukebox
And I'll be down on my knees."
Thank you, Mrs. C.
Haiku #58787, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 5:02 am ET

i wonder if there
is an i do not give a
crap net error code
Haiku #58786, by vhs of error 6.2134-1 computer is apathetic
August 11, 2018 6:20 pm ET

error 404:
your haiku could not be found
try again later
Haiku #58785, by Gary Oak of pallet town
August 11, 2018 10:39 am ET

i wish i had time
to post more here but a quick
hi is all to say
Haiku #58784, by vhs
August 10, 2018 8:40 am ET

dont tell me youre an
octopus herr pigfucker
monster girls! damn it!
Haiku #58783, by vhs
August 9, 2018 11:02 pm ET

Oh, Christ, vhs... tell me you're not a fan of cephalopod porn. I guess that would explain a lot. ;-)
Haiku #58782, by
August 9, 2018 10:51 pm ET

How the hell do you know what there is and is not?
Telepathic psychopathic telescopic entropic tropical banana daiquiri sipping arachnids.
I will be eating some of them soon I think.
Off to the land of bug eaters. Human aardvarks. Haardvarks. They want to sell you enlightenment, but it's really just a plastic toy made in China with a one day life span that will have you cursing the little slant-eyed industrious fuckers.
Which endangered species would you like for dinner tonight, sir?

--Darth FigPucker
Haiku #58781, by
August 9, 2018 10:47 pm ET

aw...you gotta know
me loves monstergirls...ya know
a spider brider?

dang
Haiku #58780, by vhs of tentacles and protestants
August 9, 2018 8:47 am ET

When life gets difficult just remember
It could always be worse
At least there are no telepathic spiders
Right?
Haiku #58779, by MONARCH
August 9, 2018 2:25 am ET

weve had so many
wars to fill the coffers of
a few, one percent?
Haiku #58778, by vhs
August 8, 2018 11:25 pm ET

I like the way Firefox allows you to grab the corner of the text box and make it as big as you'd like. Too bad I can't do that with my penis.

We need a good war to fight in. Put some meaning back in life.
Haiku #58777, by
August 7, 2018 6:23 pm ET

some people tried
to remake the world in their
own image, it did

not care a lick
Haiku #58776, by vhs
August 7, 2018 5:25 pm ET