BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
234 Days
67685 Haikus
damn it, that only
means i have to get a new one
at wal mart sooner...
Haiku #58792, by vhs of i don't know if they have detatchables in sporting goods...
August 12, 2018 8:20 pm ET

Don't even bother
They'll only disappoint you
God Damn sea monkeys
Haiku #58791, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 8:00 pm ET

Pardon me, Mister
Your detachable penis
Attached to my heart
Haiku #58790, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 6:57 pm ET

Here's the cold hard truth
He stopped loving her today
Refill Viagra
Haiku #58789, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 6:50 pm ET

well i wont be rocking
the jukebox on the way to
work this new morning
Haiku #58788, by vhs of i wanna hear george jones
August 12, 2018 8:46 am ET

"Just punch the jukebox
And I'll be down on my knees."
Thank you, Mrs. C.
Haiku #58787, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 5:02 am ET

i wonder if there
is an i do not give a
crap net error code
Haiku #58786, by vhs of error 6.2134-1 computer is apathetic
August 11, 2018 6:20 pm ET

error 404:
your haiku could not be found
try again later
Haiku #58785, by Gary Oak of pallet town
August 11, 2018 10:39 am ET

i wish i had time
to post more here but a quick
hi is all to say
Haiku #58784, by vhs
August 10, 2018 8:40 am ET

dont tell me youre an
octopus herr pigfucker
monster girls! damn it!
Haiku #58783, by vhs
August 9, 2018 11:02 pm ET

Oh, Christ, vhs... tell me you're not a fan of cephalopod porn. I guess that would explain a lot. ;-)
Haiku #58782, by
August 9, 2018 10:51 pm ET

How the hell do you know what there is and is not?
Telepathic psychopathic telescopic entropic tropical banana daiquiri sipping arachnids.
I will be eating some of them soon I think.
Off to the land of bug eaters. Human aardvarks. Haardvarks. They want to sell you enlightenment, but it's really just a plastic toy made in China with a one day life span that will have you cursing the little slant-eyed industrious fuckers.
Which endangered species would you like for dinner tonight, sir?

--Darth FigPucker
Haiku #58781, by
August 9, 2018 10:47 pm ET gotta know
me loves monstergirls...ya know
a spider brider?

Haiku #58780, by vhs of tentacles and protestants
August 9, 2018 8:47 am ET

When life gets difficult just remember
It could always be worse
At least there are no telepathic spiders
Haiku #58779, by MONARCH
August 9, 2018 2:25 am ET

weve had so many
wars to fill the coffers of
a few, one percent?
Haiku #58778, by vhs
August 8, 2018 11:25 pm ET

I like the way Firefox allows you to grab the corner of the text box and make it as big as you'd like. Too bad I can't do that with my penis.

We need a good war to fight in. Put some meaning back in life.
Haiku #58777, by
August 7, 2018 6:23 pm ET

some people tried
to remake the world in their
own image, it did

not care a lick
Haiku #58776, by vhs
August 7, 2018 5:25 pm ET

i missed toking you
off or myself off...I had
a king missle, see...

yer a lot of fun oh my brother
Haiku #58775, by vhs of detachable penis
August 7, 2018 1:18 pm ET

What's the problem now?
It cannot be all that bad.
Did your penis fall off, after all?

I poked a hole in Riemann's sphere.
Don't ask what I did with it.
Haiku #58774, by
August 7, 2018 4:14 am ET

Ed was stoned out of his fucking gourd on at least 4 different substances and absinthe and driving 90 mph in his brand new green Lambo, and the crazy fucker starts seeing Pokemon, except he's not playing Pokemon Go, he cuts through a field knocking down a fence, doing at least $10K damage to his new Lambo, chasing some made up Japanese cockfighting cartoon piece of shit that only he can see, and he's headed right for the grandfather of all oak trees, but at least for the moment he wasn't droning on and on about dead Lenore. So I'm shitting my pants and scream, "Poe, a tree!"

Get it... Poe a tree.... poetry. Bada boom!
Haiku #58773, by
August 6, 2018 9:17 am ET

Repugnant poontang.
Monkeys raped the mental ward.
The stench made him hard.
Haiku #58772, by The Ghost of Edgar Alen Poet. of
August 6, 2018 9:11 am ET

more the net connect
More the dis connect turn off
drop out, fresh air...ticks....
Haiku #58771, by vhs of always a catch 22
August 6, 2018 8:58 am ET

i know, i heard that
star trek was played on college
mainframes way back when
Haiku #58770, by vhs
August 4, 2018 10:57 pm ET

One could have gotten online
In the 70's
Haiku #58769, by MONARCH
August 4, 2018 10:43 pm ET

sea monkeys are not
sea monkeys but i didnt know
id be writing poems

with a sociopathic
mathematician as one of the
grahams numbers here
Haiku #58768, by vhs of n64?
August 4, 2018 9:10 am ET

after we dial things up
a bit here, a busy tone
was heard in my mind
Haiku #58767, by vhs
August 4, 2018 9:08 am ET

What did the monkey say after he farted?
Haiku #58766, by
August 3, 2018 11:13 pm ET

I once got my penis caught in a rotary phone, but it wasn't too bad, it just pinched the skin a little bit and it was easy to get out, but it's kind of startling and unsettling to have your penis caught on something and you can get it back and then you get married and have kids and you find yourself like that all the time and find yourself wishing for the days when getting your penis caught in the dial of a rotary phone back in the days when sex-talk 1-800 numbers were just getting started and you borrowed your mom's credit card to see what it was all about and find yourself hugely disappointed like when you first bought sea-monkeys or x-ray glasses and those were made by the same scam artist. I bet you didn't know that.
Haiku #58765, by
August 3, 2018 11:12 pm ET

now if you can have
a discussion about rotary
phones then we can talk
Haiku #58764, by vhs
August 3, 2018 7:30 pm ET

I bought one of those new fangled calculators that have the cell phone numbers of all the local deities stored in them, but it cannot tell me what the word fangled means. I don't think it has anything to do with werewolves or vampires. I knew a guy that said he was a vampire and he liked to wear edible candy underwear even though he was single.
Haiku #58763, by
August 3, 2018 10:44 am ET

What did the monkey say after he farted?
Haiku #58762, by
August 3, 2018 3:45 am ET

charles bukowski is
putting his hands on his head
right at this moment
Haiku #58761, by Anonymous Poet of love is not a haiku from hell
August 2, 2018 7:06 pm ET

Testicular fortitude
fortress of solitude
sand castles and sea monkeys
picking sea lice off each other
and the sand crabs that your girlfriend caught
for you to eat out at a fancy no-pant restaurant
with her aunt and uncle and Simon and Garfunkel
Funk and Wagnalls wagging funky counter private parts
at Webster's grandma who thinks it's funny anyway.

What did the monkey say after he farted?
Haiku #58760, by
August 2, 2018 9:59 am ET

At the dinner table say:
"Could you please pass the gas."
And see what people do.
Haiku #58759, by
August 2, 2018 9:54 am ET

You can't go mad if you are already there.
Haiku #58758, by
August 2, 2018 7:54 am ET

the thing about say
wonderland is they'd go mad
wondering why I

am there
Haiku #58757, by vhs
August 1, 2018 7:49 pm ET

'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'
Haiku #58756, by
August 1, 2018 8:28 am ET

peace vs pieces, you
cannot reason with madness
only try to cure...
Haiku #58755, by vhs
August 1, 2018 7:08 am ET

Dying's not so bad.
Hippies do it all the time.
Tie-dye... badda boom.
Haiku #58754, by Anonymous Poet
August 1, 2018 2:18 am ET

if you want to place
others to the sword be quite
prepared to die by

it too
Haiku #58753, by vhs
July 31, 2018 5:16 pm ET

now the "people" are
polarized and the worries
are quite civil...war
Haiku #58752, by vhs
July 31, 2018 1:31 pm ET

we may have more sane
and concrete enemies than
the fowl beasts of earth...
Haiku #58751, by vhs of trust but verify
July 30, 2018 6:09 pm ET

Oh my God, the chickens got out!
When they learn to put knives on their own spur claw without humans doing it to them, is the day the human race will meet its doom. They will slit our throats in unison and KFCs will be burnt to the ground. I've been trying to train them not to attack each other, but to go after the life-like human dummies in the training yard. Go for the jugular. They love me though. They will never turn on me. Don't worry.
Haiku #58750, by
July 30, 2018 12:33 am ET

i brought out my dark
side to play with for a while
hes in the closet
Haiku #58749, by vha
July 29, 2018 11:35 pm ET

outgrowing the dead
prisons of life that distract
like dive bars of life
Haiku #58748, by vhs
July 29, 2018 11:21 pm ET

some people make the
petty things in life more a deal
than they should be
Haiku #58747, by vhs
July 29, 2018 5:59 pm ET

perverts, extroverts
introverts, ambiverts, and
vodka martinis
Haiku #58746, by vhs of shaken, not stirred
July 29, 2018 9:05 am ET

the internet was
a lonely place at the start
and can be these times...
Haiku #58745, by vhs of 404 unlinked
July 28, 2018 7:47 pm ET

one day all these posts
will just be here, staying here
who or what reads them?
Haiku #58744, by vhs
July 27, 2018 7:37 pm ET

what kind of haiku
are made in china, sold say
by a wal mart store?
Haiku #58743, by vhs of rollback on haiku, dozen for 89 cents
July 26, 2018 7:50 pm ET