BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
29 Days
66564 Haikus
So come as you are
Bigfoot wrote all the lyrics
Punch the jukebox, Fonz!
Haiku #58802, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 16, 2018 12:01 pm ET

pearls jammed, nirvanaed...
trees screamed, melvinesd, alice
was in all chained
Haiku #58801, by vhs of a real soundgarden out there
August 16, 2018 8:52 am ET

The Haiku Hotel
You'll sleep just like a baby
Room five seven five.
Haiku #58800, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 15, 2018 11:06 pm ET

confused drafts in
a confused time, sleeping in
older, not wiser
Haiku #58799, by vhs
August 15, 2018 8:55 pm ET

life should be fun...and
i guess that is the best way to
Haiku #58798, by vhs
August 15, 2018 8:49 am ET

some domme told me to
forget tv white noise and
to do my own thing
Haiku #58797, by vhs
August 15, 2018 8:42 am ET

existential bores
play chess in their minds retreat
from the world gone mad
Haiku #58796, by vhs
August 14, 2018 7:09 am ET

Lighten up, Mister
We can ring doorbells and run
Shouldn't life be fun?
Haiku #58795, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 13, 2018 8:21 pm ET

cram so much in a
day to make up for fucking
around when younger
Haiku #58794, by vhs of rewind, canna do
August 13, 2018 9:04 am ET

Instead of "Hello!"
Try Hitachi Magic Wand
Best Wal⭐️Mart greeter
Haiku #58793, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 9:07 pm ET

damn it, that only
means i have to get a new one
at wal mart sooner...
Haiku #58792, by vhs of i don't know if they have detatchables in sporting goods...
August 12, 2018 8:20 pm ET

Don't even bother
They'll only disappoint you
God Damn sea monkeys
Haiku #58791, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 8:00 pm ET

Pardon me, Mister
Your detachable penis
Attached to my heart
Haiku #58790, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 6:57 pm ET

Here's the cold hard truth
He stopped loving her today
Refill Viagra
Haiku #58789, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 6:50 pm ET

well i wont be rocking
the jukebox on the way to
work this new morning
Haiku #58788, by vhs of i wanna hear george jones
August 12, 2018 8:46 am ET

"Just punch the jukebox
And I'll be down on my knees."
Thank you, Mrs. C.
Haiku #58787, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 12, 2018 5:02 am ET

i wonder if there
is an i do not give a
crap net error code
Haiku #58786, by vhs of error 6.2134-1 computer is apathetic
August 11, 2018 6:20 pm ET

error 404:
your haiku could not be found
try again later
Haiku #58785, by Gary Oak of pallet town
August 11, 2018 10:39 am ET

i wish i had time
to post more here but a quick
hi is all to say
Haiku #58784, by vhs
August 10, 2018 8:40 am ET

dont tell me youre an
octopus herr pigfucker
monster girls! damn it!
Haiku #58783, by vhs
August 9, 2018 11:02 pm ET

Oh, Christ, vhs... tell me you're not a fan of cephalopod porn. I guess that would explain a lot. ;-)
Haiku #58782, by
August 9, 2018 10:51 pm ET

How the hell do you know what there is and is not?
Telepathic psychopathic telescopic entropic tropical banana daiquiri sipping arachnids.
I will be eating some of them soon I think.
Off to the land of bug eaters. Human aardvarks. Haardvarks. They want to sell you enlightenment, but it's really just a plastic toy made in China with a one day life span that will have you cursing the little slant-eyed industrious fuckers.
Which endangered species would you like for dinner tonight, sir?

--Darth FigPucker
Haiku #58781, by
August 9, 2018 10:47 pm ET gotta know
me loves monstergirls...ya know
a spider brider?

Haiku #58780, by vhs of tentacles and protestants
August 9, 2018 8:47 am ET

When life gets difficult just remember
It could always be worse
At least there are no telepathic spiders
Haiku #58779, by MONARCH
August 9, 2018 2:25 am ET

weve had so many
wars to fill the coffers of
a few, one percent?
Haiku #58778, by vhs
August 8, 2018 11:25 pm ET

I like the way Firefox allows you to grab the corner of the text box and make it as big as you'd like. Too bad I can't do that with my penis.

We need a good war to fight in. Put some meaning back in life.
Haiku #58777, by
August 7, 2018 6:23 pm ET

some people tried
to remake the world in their
own image, it did

not care a lick
Haiku #58776, by vhs
August 7, 2018 5:25 pm ET

i missed toking you
off or myself off...I had
a king missle, see...

yer a lot of fun oh my brother
Haiku #58775, by vhs of detachable penis
August 7, 2018 1:18 pm ET

What's the problem now?
It cannot be all that bad.
Did your penis fall off, after all?

I poked a hole in Riemann's sphere.
Don't ask what I did with it.
Haiku #58774, by
August 7, 2018 4:14 am ET

Ed was stoned out of his fucking gourd on at least 4 different substances and absinthe and driving 90 mph in his brand new green Lambo, and the crazy fucker starts seeing Pokemon, except he's not playing Pokemon Go, he cuts through a field knocking down a fence, doing at least $10K damage to his new Lambo, chasing some made up Japanese cockfighting cartoon piece of shit that only he can see, and he's headed right for the grandfather of all oak trees, but at least for the moment he wasn't droning on and on about dead Lenore. So I'm shitting my pants and scream, "Poe, a tree!"

Get it... Poe a tree.... poetry. Bada boom!
Haiku #58773, by
August 6, 2018 9:17 am ET

Repugnant poontang.
Monkeys raped the mental ward.
The stench made him hard.
Haiku #58772, by The Ghost of Edgar Alen Poet. of
August 6, 2018 9:11 am ET

more the net connect
More the dis connect turn off
drop out, fresh air...ticks....
Haiku #58771, by vhs of always a catch 22
August 6, 2018 8:58 am ET

i know, i heard that
star trek was played on college
mainframes way back when
Haiku #58770, by vhs
August 4, 2018 10:57 pm ET

One could have gotten online
In the 70's
Haiku #58769, by MONARCH
August 4, 2018 10:43 pm ET

sea monkeys are not
sea monkeys but i didnt know
id be writing poems

with a sociopathic
mathematician as one of the
grahams numbers here
Haiku #58768, by vhs of n64?
August 4, 2018 9:10 am ET

after we dial things up
a bit here, a busy tone
was heard in my mind
Haiku #58767, by vhs
August 4, 2018 9:08 am ET

What did the monkey say after he farted?
Haiku #58766, by
August 3, 2018 11:13 pm ET

I once got my penis caught in a rotary phone, but it wasn't too bad, it just pinched the skin a little bit and it was easy to get out, but it's kind of startling and unsettling to have your penis caught on something and you can get it back and then you get married and have kids and you find yourself like that all the time and find yourself wishing for the days when getting your penis caught in the dial of a rotary phone back in the days when sex-talk 1-800 numbers were just getting started and you borrowed your mom's credit card to see what it was all about and find yourself hugely disappointed like when you first bought sea-monkeys or x-ray glasses and those were made by the same scam artist. I bet you didn't know that.
Haiku #58765, by
August 3, 2018 11:12 pm ET

now if you can have
a discussion about rotary
phones then we can talk
Haiku #58764, by vhs
August 3, 2018 7:30 pm ET

I bought one of those new fangled calculators that have the cell phone numbers of all the local deities stored in them, but it cannot tell me what the word fangled means. I don't think it has anything to do with werewolves or vampires. I knew a guy that said he was a vampire and he liked to wear edible candy underwear even though he was single.
Haiku #58763, by
August 3, 2018 10:44 am ET

What did the monkey say after he farted?
Haiku #58762, by
August 3, 2018 3:45 am ET

charles bukowski is
putting his hands on his head
right at this moment
Haiku #58761, by Anonymous Poet of love is not a haiku from hell
August 2, 2018 7:06 pm ET

Testicular fortitude
fortress of solitude
sand castles and sea monkeys
picking sea lice off each other
and the sand crabs that your girlfriend caught
for you to eat out at a fancy no-pant restaurant
with her aunt and uncle and Simon and Garfunkel
Funk and Wagnalls wagging funky counter private parts
at Webster's grandma who thinks it's funny anyway.

What did the monkey say after he farted?
Haiku #58760, by
August 2, 2018 9:59 am ET

At the dinner table say:
"Could you please pass the gas."
And see what people do.
Haiku #58759, by
August 2, 2018 9:54 am ET

You can't go mad if you are already there.
Haiku #58758, by
August 2, 2018 7:54 am ET

the thing about say
wonderland is they'd go mad
wondering why I

am there
Haiku #58757, by vhs
August 1, 2018 7:49 pm ET

'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'
Haiku #58756, by
August 1, 2018 8:28 am ET

peace vs pieces, you
cannot reason with madness
only try to cure...
Haiku #58755, by vhs
August 1, 2018 7:08 am ET

Dying's not so bad.
Hippies do it all the time.
Tie-dye... badda boom.
Haiku #58754, by Anonymous Poet
August 1, 2018 2:18 am ET

if you want to place
others to the sword be quite
prepared to die by

it too
Haiku #58753, by vhs
July 31, 2018 5:16 pm ET