Catch a Lake Monster
A sprinkle of my Phish Food
Brings Champ to the yard

ask Him about sea
monkeys...use them as fish food
then buy some phish food

If God answers you
Complain about Sea Monkeys
Not worth the money!!

either that or i
need to shut off satans door
and talk to God, in

private...

the upper room prayer center

disturbing...i think
we need to break our phones and
smash all our tablets

Measurements of bore
seminal viscosity
in situ Batman.

Who would have thunk it?
World War Three set in motion
Over spilled birdseed

meh, waiting for the
end times to do their thing
pray for those dummies

marching under the
antifa flag, they're going to
hell if they're not saved

Not the same kitty
But I will play with your balls
Of yarn all night long

if i know me i
knew a starkitten on a
sub dom site but once...

I don't think you are her

So come as you are
Bigfoot wrote all the lyrics
Punch the jukebox, Fonz!

pearls jammed, nirvanaed...
trees screamed, melvinesd, alice
was in all chained

The Haiku Hotel
You'll sleep just like a baby
Room five seven five.

confused drafts in
a confused time, sleeping in
older, not wiser

life should be fun...and
i guess that is the best way to
resist evil...live

some domme told me to
forget tv white noise and
to do my own thing

existential bores
play chess in their minds retreat
from the world gone mad

Lighten up, Mister
We can ring doorbells and run
Shouldn't life be fun?

cram so much in a
day to make up for fucking
around when younger

Instead of "Hello!"
Try Hitachi Magic Wand
Best Wal⭐️Mart greeter

damn it, that only
means i have to get a new one
at wal mart sooner...

Don't even bother
They'll only disappoint you
God Damn sea monkeys

Pardon me, Mister
Your detachable penis
Attached to my heart

Here's the cold hard truth
He stopped loving her today
Refill Viagra

well i wont be rocking
the jukebox on the way to
work this new morning

"Just punch the jukebox
And I'll be down on my knees."
Thank you, Mrs. C.

i wonder if there
is an i do not give a
crap net error code

error 404:
your haiku could not be found
try again later

i wish i had time
to post more here but a quick
hi is all to say

dont tell me youre an
octopus herr pigfucker
monster girls! damn it!

Oh, Christ, vhs... tell me you're not a fan of cephalopod porn. I guess that would explain a lot. ;-)

How the hell do you know what there is and is not?
Telepathic psychopathic telescopic entropic tropical banana daiquiri sipping arachnids.
I will be eating some of them soon I think.
Off to the land of bug eaters. Human aardvarks. Haardvarks. They want to sell you enlightenment, but it's really just a plastic toy made in China with a one day life span that will have you cursing the little slant-eyed industrious fuckers.
Which endangered species would you like for dinner tonight, sir?

--Darth FigPucker

aw...you gotta know
me loves monstergirls...ya know
a spider brider?

dang

When life gets difficult just remember
It could always be worse
At least there are no telepathic spiders
Right?

weve had so many
wars to fill the coffers of
a few, one percent?

I like the way Firefox allows you to grab the corner of the text box and make it as big as you'd like. Too bad I can't do that with my penis.

We need a good war to fight in. Put some meaning back in life.

some people tried
to remake the world in their
own image, it did

not care a lick

i missed toking you
off or myself off...I had
a king missle, see...

yer a lot of fun oh my brother

What's the problem now?
It cannot be all that bad.
Did your penis fall off, after all?

I poked a hole in Riemann's sphere.
Don't ask what I did with it.

Ed was stoned out of his fucking gourd on at least 4 different substances and absinthe and driving 90 mph in his brand new green Lambo, and the crazy fucker starts seeing Pokemon, except he's not playing Pokemon Go, he cuts through a field knocking down a fence, doing at least $10K damage to his new Lambo, chasing some made up Japanese cockfighting cartoon piece of shit that only he can see, and he's headed right for the grandfather of all oak trees, but at least for the moment he wasn't droning on and on about dead Lenore. So I'm shitting my pants and scream, "Poe, a tree!"

Get it... Poe a tree.... poetry. Bada boom!

Repugnant poontang.
Monkeys raped the mental ward.
The stench made him hard.

more the net connect
More the dis connect turn off
drop out, fresh air...ticks....

i know, i heard that
star trek was played on college
mainframes way back when

Theoretically
One could have gotten online
In the 70's

sea monkeys are not
sea monkeys but i didnt know
id be writing poems

with a sociopathic
mathematician as one of the
grahams numbers here

after we dial things up
a bit here, a busy tone
was heard in my mind

What did the monkey say after he farted?

I once got my penis caught in a rotary phone, but it wasn't too bad, it just pinched the skin a little bit and it was easy to get out, but it's kind of startling and unsettling to have your penis caught on something and you can get it back and then you get married and have kids and you find yourself like that all the time and find yourself wishing for the days when getting your penis caught in the dial of a rotary phone back in the days when sex-talk 1-800 numbers were just getting started and you borrowed your mom's credit card to see what it was all about and find yourself hugely disappointed like when you first bought sea-monkeys or x-ray glasses and those were made by the same scam artist. I bet you didn't know that.

now if you can have
a discussion about rotary
phones then we can talk

I bought one of those new fangled calculators that have the cell phone numbers of all the local deities stored in them, but it cannot tell me what the word fangled means. I don't think it has anything to do with werewolves or vampires. I knew a guy that said he was a vampire and he liked to wear edible candy underwear even though he was single.