Grasshoppers taste good.
Scorpions have a nice crunch.
Tarantulas... Nope!

Ok, Just got here
Please tell me where to park my
Big pink bathysphere

I don't do windows.
I'll wear a smile, nothing more
Knock, Knock, on your door

Blood spills with rigor
Quiet noise emerged at last
Fall reaching nothing

come to my window
im not a lesbian but
i'll be home soon...i'll..

Lay down on my couch
The Libido's cathexis
Bad haiku connects us

hmm anima and
animus our enema
letting it all out

Do fish get boners?
Quick, Hop in my bathysphere
Please wear something sheer.

Let's ask Jacques Cousteau
Please give his shell phone a blow
Perhaps he would know

When dolphins beat off
do they spank their sea monkeys?
Asking for a friend.

I ate four cans of
alphabet soup and had a
huge vowel movement.

No wagering, folks.
LIVE: Simon and Garfunkel
Cage Fight to the Death!

Tale of Two Shitties
Eat Alphabet Soup daily
Poop out a novel

ive heard of eating
my heart out but this is all
rediculous soup

Copenhagen Chew
Wash it down with Human Stew
That tastes just like you

The

i wonder what kind
of milkshake you make to bring
kaiju to the yard

you could teach me but
you'd have to charge

Catch a Lake Monster
A sprinkle of my Phish Food
Brings Champ to the yard

ask Him about sea
monkeys...use them as fish food
then buy some phish food

If God answers you
Complain about Sea Monkeys
Not worth the money!!

either that or i
need to shut off satans door
and talk to God, in

private...

the upper room prayer center

disturbing...i think
we need to break our phones and
smash all our tablets

Measurements of bore
seminal viscosity
in situ Batman.

Who would have thunk it?
World War Three set in motion
Over spilled birdseed

meh, waiting for the
end times to do their thing
pray for those dummies

marching under the
antifa flag, they're going to
hell if they're not saved

Not the same kitty
But I will play with your balls
Of yarn all night long

if i know me i
knew a starkitten on a
sub dom site but once...

I don't think you are her

So come as you are
Bigfoot wrote all the lyrics
Punch the jukebox, Fonz!

pearls jammed, nirvanaed...
trees screamed, melvinesd, alice
was in all chained

The Haiku Hotel
You'll sleep just like a baby
Room five seven five.

confused drafts in
a confused time, sleeping in
older, not wiser

life should be fun...and
i guess that is the best way to
resist evil...live

some domme told me to
forget tv white noise and
to do my own thing

existential bores
play chess in their minds retreat
from the world gone mad

Lighten up, Mister
We can ring doorbells and run
Shouldn't life be fun?

cram so much in a
day to make up for fucking
around when younger

Instead of "Hello!"
Try Hitachi Magic Wand
Best Wal⭐️Mart greeter

damn it, that only
means i have to get a new one
at wal mart sooner...

Don't even bother
They'll only disappoint you
God Damn sea monkeys

Pardon me, Mister
Your detachable penis
Attached to my heart

Here's the cold hard truth
He stopped loving her today
Refill Viagra

well i wont be rocking
the jukebox on the way to
work this new morning

"Just punch the jukebox
And I'll be down on my knees."
Thank you, Mrs. C.

i wonder if there
is an i do not give a
crap net error code

error 404:
your haiku could not be found
try again later

i wish i had time
to post more here but a quick
hi is all to say

dont tell me youre an
octopus herr pigfucker
monster girls! damn it!

Oh, Christ, vhs... tell me you're not a fan of cephalopod porn. I guess that would explain a lot. ;-)

How the hell do you know what there is and is not?
Telepathic psychopathic telescopic entropic tropical banana daiquiri sipping arachnids.
I will be eating some of them soon I think.
Off to the land of bug eaters. Human aardvarks. Haardvarks. They want to sell you enlightenment, but it's really just a plastic toy made in China with a one day life span that will have you cursing the little slant-eyed industrious fuckers.
Which endangered species would you like for dinner tonight, sir?

--Darth FigPucker

aw...you gotta know
me loves monstergirls...ya know
a spider brider?

dang

When life gets difficult just remember
It could always be worse
At least there are no telepathic spiders
Right?