I love when Maury
says "You are NOT the father."
Lucky SOBs.
by Darth Figpucker of Happy NOT the Father's Day
i am not a ro....
bot...i...am not....a.....ro...bot...
i am not a....Boom!
by vhs
I was ripping off
W. C. Fields. Duh!
Happy Bastards Day!
by df
stephen king kong would
write a book about a giant
what climbing, what?
by vhs of hail eris
if the beat goes on
then what, kerouac meets king
kong in bangor, maine?
by vhs of xxx
if i mention say
Jordan Peterson will the folks
from Ontario know
who i mean on this
channel, and will i get how
they feel about him?
by vhs
maybe the art is
how seriously i take
it to the end times
by vhs
i mean when do we
give up on someone and just
let them burn in hell?
by vhs
i mean I'll go off
into "spiritual warfare..."
amusing...I don't
know...do you know how
seriously i take this
sort of thing to bear?
by vhs
what does it really
accomplish in the end but
provokes me to post...
i can't tell if you're really posting
these feelings for real or not and if you have actually done these things which of course is naive
and i find disturbing
by vhs
Funny how haiku
somewhat look like a penis
with balls either side.
by Darth Figpucker
Happy Father's Day
to all you men too stupid
to not reproduce.
Yes, I love children.
But it depends how they're cooked.
Flame grilled is best.
I'm thinking Android
Love Dolls might save the planet.
I'd like to own one.
by Darth Figpucker
you of course know that
i confidently object
to the human race
thing...im an alien
theyre too amusing
by vhs
about time you showed up
wheres the rest of Legion
anyways? swine herd?
by vhs of they drowned themselves of course
Poetry mode set.
Maximum vulgarity
and zero rhyming.
by Darth Figpucker
This photo captcha
sucks big hairy testicles.
It takes forever!
Technological
improvements are purely myth.
Except for Fleshlight.
Every time I buy a new computer or update software it seems to run worse than it did before and you have to fight with it to get it to work at all. The best solution is to turn off all updates. Roll back to Windows 7. I mean, Jesus!, Microsoft (named for Gates' penis!) hasn't had a decent upgrade in like 20+ years! Just added on garbage like textbook publishers fucking over college students with "new content" so the old books have to be scrapped. The human race should be turned into BBQ for alien invaders. Seriously.
by Darth Figpucker of Why can't the photo captcha have porn pics?!
He laughed at Playboy
and wanked to Mad Magazine.
Now he's president.
by Darth Figpucker
Confucius say:
Man does headstand nude
in rain with funnel up ass
gets free enema.
by Darth Figpucker of Not in China
like i said im broke
when the weather is bad...is bad
no spam jokes here though
by vhs
where do socks go when
they disappear from laundry?
alien fuel tanks!
by vhs of a real married with children episode
where do socks go when
they disappear from laundry?
alien fuel tanks!
by vhs of a real married with children episode
I'm not a robot
but i break down like one when
we have bad weather
by vhs
that which is not well
expected might turn out
to be just what you need
by vhs of all right...for keith richards
This is a test of
The long overdue update
Of the bot filter.
by Adam
I'm not a robot
No really I'm a human
I'm not a robot
by Janis
well slayer of big
philistines, arevyou going
to out me liking
green mage girls?
by vhs
Just remember that
Drone with Linux as OS...
That's some funny shit
by dvd of Fromage Au Trois
if sci fi video
game movies are more compelling
than my writing i
need a lot more practice
by vhs
i keep going
despite what's happening in
the world as i see...
by vhs
arbitrary rules set
by men and women with the
will to power, void
no spirit
by vhs of empty
alice in chains must
have had a good night with her
Dom to make a band
by vhs of somethings gonna turn out right
Look up "contrabass saxophone"
On YouTube (1st result) to hear what
I think that... um, movement must have Sounded like, skip ahead to 1 minute
Or alternatively, while listening
Imagine an overly confident and Morbidly obese person walking down The street eating ice cream
by Name of Location
well i knew you had
faith to move mountains df
not quite what...i thought
by vhs of cat
I pooped a mountain.
But then it washed out to sea.
The fish were not pleased.
by DF
add pennywise and
the characters from fifth element
and you get fan fiction
by vhs
I like underground.
Storm drain tunnel exploring.
Shoot bottle rockets.
Imagine a bunch of fireworks being shot out of a storm gutter and there's no way to get down there that you can see. And the fireworks are being shot out right in front of your house and from down in the tunnel you hear maniacal laughter of the rat-troll-people echoing in the cavern like labyrinth.
Molotov cocktails. Acres of bad graffiti. Mushrooms and marijuana. And one dim flashlight.
by Anonymous Poet
i found out about
nasty underground evil
rat people, skaven
no its not a trip
on mescaline, it a game
known as warhammer
and these little fucks
are vicious evil chaos
underground dwellers
like certain internet trolls
(not u oh vogon overlord)
by vhs of internet search skavenblight, yes yes?
i meant down, i aint
down with how it saw dow but
dow is up, not down
by vhs of jones that is
they say the old way
of doing things is dow and
here i am, doing
by vhs
And it's FigPucker!
Those cute little fig dimples.
I really like figs.
The fresh ones are best.
Not the cookies or dried figs,
but figs off the tree.
Best when very ripe.
Soft and juicy, just like a
chicken's tight asshole.
I'm pure hillbilly.
Love fuckin' me some chickens.
Eat them afterwards.
Church potluck dinner.
I laugh to watch them eat my
chicken in fig sauce.
by Darth Figpucker
I know only this:
Genuine happiness is
a squashed mosquito.
by DF
a voice in the wild
erness memorial the plans are but cut short
by vha
i hate to invoke
my insignifcant self
but here the man is
by vhs
here comes the rain, again
the fall, totalitarian
disinterest
gen x, wake up...weve
got to unleash darth pigfucker
on big brother
by vhs
when is it that folks
give up, let go and stop the
forcing of life things?
by vhs
been bust talking to
people who hypnotize their
minds, fetish reasons
by vhs
Rolls of sumo fat
and elaborate tattoos
distract from small dick.
Purulent and red
from the many whore houses;
weep for the towel.
It knows well the hills
of fried squid topography
unnatural stench.
by df of vogsphere
Sentient towel.
Wet Japanese businessman.
True unhappiness.
by df of 42 Intergalactic Towel Day Vogon Poetry Competition
With enormous zest
the old woman scratched her ass.
Near ripped her panties.
The filthy old drunk
moaned as he humped the sidewalk,
having found true love.
They know happiness.
More than I can say for you,
miserable poet!
by df
Emily Post erred.
She neglected to mention
road kill etiquette.
It is proper to
make love to your road kill first
before serving it?
And if so, should one
discuss this at the table
or don't tell the guests?
What wine should be served?
Which hooch goes best with possum
and won't come back up?
by Darth Figpucker