Huh huh, dude, you said
you're number 2, huh huh huh.
Yeah yeah, heh heh heh.

Maybe I'm your dad.
Like, 'cause I went number two.
I gave birth to you.

No way, you dumbass.
That, like, makes you his mom, dude.
Oh yeah... you're really smart.

B&B
Beavis and Butthead.
Beer and Burgers.
Bed and Breakfast.
Boobs and butts
Babes and bitches.

Dreaming of horses
Conditional affection?
Hope deferred so long

this is one of those
"haiku" when I've no idea
what i want to say

remember our friend
here is a Vogon, the WORST
no 3rd WORST poems

in the universe...

me I am #2 so i am more

worst, dunno about Slavoj

I had a cat once
It cornered a mouse
The mouse got up on two legs
And punched the cat in the face
Cat was stunned
Mouse escaped

Death Valley heat wave
My lust for her, but her heart,
Arctic circle cold

Did forty push-ups.
The sweat drips from my nethers
after the third set.

I have exactly
one hour to kill before
"meeting" my client.

How many gross haiku
can I compose in that time?
Or I'll exercise?

Or I can do both!
I wonder how that works out.
No pun intended.

Those Krampusnacht vids
on youtube fascinate me.
I think I'm in love.

Or something like it.
Love, not lust, so get your minds
out of the gutter.

To be a demon,
for just one night of the year.
What could be better?

And you can be mean
to little brats and children.
I am so jealous.

I've done many things.
But getting AIDS from poodles,
that is a new one.

The dead manatee,
she was frisky this morning.
Or that was maggots.

patient: doc, I want you to cure me

doctor figpucker: I am prescribing you AIDS

the end

i try to ignore
some of the stuff posted on
here and try to post

stuff that doesn't push
scat or splat or whatever
but i can, do push

some of the stuff on
here turns my stomach so i
can understand why

folks might move along

i have relatives
going over family
pictures and here this

is internet One
as it once was, not as it
is now, a bit not

seen

can anybody direct me on how to remove my haiku from this website?
I did contact Janis but no reply!
i will appreciate your kind direction

Too much coffee is killing me, but if not for coffee I'd kill myself.

I wonder what my wife would do if I got her some of that vag-tightening-jel.

Not that it would matter. I imaging screwing a tight pussy manatee would be about the same thing.

Santa with puke in beard... I think I am jealous.
But I think I'd rather be a drunken Krampus.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ಠ_ಠ

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People in winter
Racing mind leaves home once more
Music plays around

between all the jokes
and abuse of the last few
posts if i tried to

say something about
Philip K Dick I fear just
Beavis And Butthead

You said dick,...

w-w-what?????

confiscated spring
fallen apart it and I
heart-teasing trial

imagine df
as mall santa but thing is
its fucking august
children run away
from vomit stained beard santa
had too much nutmeg
with his satchel full
cheap amanita mushrooms
and cans of nitrous
its quite possible
the man had sex with poodle
not jealous at all

Never have children.
If you don't regret it now,
you will one day soon.

Considering the state of the world, it's pointless to have children anyway; you'll only be bringing more pain and misery into a world where there is already plenty. Better just to fuck whores, get AIDS, and die young. But it's too late for me.

When the next girl went on stage and spread her legs, it looked exactly like an Arby's roast beef sandwich and smelled similar. The beef they use isn't really beef, but some mystery conglomeration of rejected parts from dog food companies, processed with food coloring and flavors added. Having had friends who worked there made this a known fact and even they wouldn't eat it if it was free. You felt the same about this fur burger displayed in the window stage. Like in those old Life cereal commercials, "Give it to VHS, he'll eat anything."

She wore a t-shirt that said "Vampyres suck better!" The misspelled vampire in large red Gothic lettering. She was the kind of girl you'd forbid your daughter to have as a friend and encourage your son to take advantage of and then dump. It was wrong to see her naked, but every politician, lawyer, and preacher from 5 towns away was also viewing her young naked body, so how wrong could it be?

Digital folk art
Is that what this place might be?
That sounds about right

of course if you TRY
then people are like yeah um
i got chips to eat....

um.....bye for now

trying to get some
folks from diverse places to
say hi and post stuff

hmm well you know i
always wanted to date a
gothic babe of the week...

vhs rolls eyes
dvd shrugs his shoulders
a man can dream though

a dream is just a
dream a sigh is just a sigh
no kisses though kay?

A dream you dream alone is only a dream

A dream you dream together is reality

oh wait, no no no
BURGER BURGER BURGER!!! hope
you got that right hmm?

FISH
SANDWICH!!!!!

CHICKEN
SANDWICH?

you put a sandwich
up in the window at work
and i thought it was

my lunch, which proved to
me if i am hungry I'm
going why does this

fried chicken tender
sandwich taste like fried
cod? lesson, i can

make detailed worlds and
poems but i need a basic
lesson in foodstuffs

You know the universe is chaos
But chaos plays favorites

"Jesus Does The Dishes"
- Wingnut Dishwashers Union

retail spaces once
alive with currency and
clerks close 1/2 off and

abandoned malls all
become new explorer pathways
empty pay phone spots

Admiring teachings
Voiceless song without support
Blessings of wonder

04.Aug.2017

Colorful nightmares
Cannibalism not fun
I am for dinner

the cat just opened
the door to the office proof
cats rule the world now

can't do much about
the past, that is why some say
focus on here, now

some roads if they get
traveled at night you know those
phantom hitchhikers

ufos, black eyed
kids, the occasional late
night espresso place

at my age i miss
10 shot espresso drinks

Lost in my own mind
I walk the vacant roadways
I see evil things

Vaginoplasty
for poodles is quite silly
until you fuck one.

Not all dust is created equal
Not all movies will get a sequel
To be reborn, crying
To tell the truth, it feels a lot like dying

A bird with broken wings
Building a nest softly
Encouraged by the notion
Bones can heal