Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 242 Days and 77165 Haiku later...

Colorful nightmares
Cannibalism not fun
I am for dinner
Haiku # 57097, August 4, 2017 5:17 pm ET
by dvd
the cat just opened
the door to the office proof
cats rule the world now
Haiku # 57096, August 3, 2017 7:58 pm ET
by vhs
can't do much about
the past, that is why some say
focus on here, now
Haiku # 57095, August 3, 2017 6:58 pm ET
by vhs
some roads if they get
traveled at night you know those
phantom hitchhikers

ufos, black eyed
kids, the occasional late
night espresso place

at my age i miss
10 shot espresso drinks
Haiku # 57094, August 3, 2017 6:42 pm ET
by vhs
Lost in my own mind
I walk the vacant roadways
I see evil things
Haiku # 57093, August 3, 2017 2:08 am ET
by S.Milly
for poodles is quite silly
until you fuck one.
Haiku # 57092, August 3, 2017 2:07 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Not all dust is created equal
Not all movies will get a sequel
To be reborn, crying
To tell the truth, it feels a lot like dying
Haiku # 57091, August 2, 2017 10:30 pm ET
by adam ben adam
A bird with broken wings
Building a nest softly
Encouraged by the notion
Bones can heal
Haiku # 57090, August 2, 2017 10:27 pm ET
by Olea europea
Echoes in between
Holding breath against the waves
Armies march lively

Haiku # 57089, August 2, 2017 10:25 pm ET
by dvd
Leaving of a wish
Rising sun beckons me close
Boats drift in the light

Haiku # 57088, August 2, 2017 10:24 pm ET
by dvd
ashes to ashes
babe don't matter where you are
we all go someday

hate it, love it or
not, jokes, irony, pious...
we are all just dust
Haiku # 57087, August 2, 2017 5:26 pm ET
by The Codfather of somewhere in vhs's tape colletion
Word "America"
Slogan now to improve sales
Empty Budweisers

All your tax dollars
Pay for picnics and healthcare
"D","R" play Doctor
Haiku # 57086, August 2, 2017 8:21 am ET
by Prophet of The Worldwide Landfill
Having been a successful neurosurgeon for for over 12 years now, Dr. Robert Cartworth III decided that he hated his career and silently wished he'd stuck to his original plans of becoming world champion Atari Asteroids player and getting stoned all day. He supposed it wasn't too late and decided to give it a try. Thus he moved to Oregon, bought a near-antique Asteroids arcade game, a hydroponic grow room, and a VW van for late night trips to the nearest convenience store to curb the munchies. The older games did not have "pause" buttons and so the only way to play was to rack up as many "lives" as possible so you could die a few dozen times while taking a bathroom break. He played for 49 hours straight, having an unfair advantage from the pharmaceuticals he was able to acquire (he still had his medical license). He beat the previous high score world record.
He had a city-wide party to celebrate this life-victory and it bankrupted him. He made the money back several times over by selling weed. He retired happy, surrounded by good weed, pizza, beer, and young girls who needed a place to stay and a good drug connection.
Haiku # 57085, August 2, 2017 12:07 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
prophets will profit
while fighting evil doers
and the IRS
Haiku # 57084, August 1, 2017 10:48 pm ET
by Primitive Lifeform
why are "prophets" trying
to sell the message time
is short, buy right now

this is my faith they're
selling, not the stock exchange
Dow Jones Jesus Christ????
Haiku # 57083, August 1, 2017 1:02 pm ET
by vhs
putting things off seems
to be the story of my
life up to right now
Haiku # 57082, July 31, 2017 6:57 pm ET
by vhs
The eyes of a fractured mind staring wildly from under a mop of stringy gray grease, a home for many species and dense nutrients. Crumbs from a meal weeks ago or someone's lost poodle squirm in a logic defying beard of rainbow colors but how and why? He speaks soothingly to no one. You can only imagine his teeth that hide behind a mossy cover of mustache, a gaping hidden cavern perhaps hiding treasure but no one dares.

A woman with ridiculous breasts passes by.
Children laugh in the distance.
A briefcase of proven conspiracy theories and a dark suit blatantly exists.
Never in my life have I wanted to be someone else so badly as the old man makes some inhuman sound and scratches his armpit.
Haiku # 57081, July 30, 2017 11:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
well you know gardens
can be useful for that and
farmers markets hmm?
Haiku # 57080, July 30, 2017 7:30 pm ET
by vhs
I'd like something to eat that's not made in a factory.
Is it possible?
Haiku # 57079, July 30, 2017 9:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
some kid buzzed by the
house on his dirt bike too fast
he may buzz no more...
Haiku # 57078, July 29, 2017 5:42 pm ET
by vhs
twas an adventure
but the hobbit comes home and
settles back in with

a notebook in hand
to make some "red book" for some
Tolkien to find out
Haiku # 57077, July 29, 2017 5:41 pm ET
by vhs
over two hundred
bowling greatness I wish for
please, gods of the pins
Haiku # 57076, July 29, 2017 9:26 am ET
by Primitive Lifeform of Nearby Planet
Hi there, I found your web site by the use of Google while searching for a similar matter, your site came up, it seems to be good. I've bookmarked it in my google bookmarks. gbddfedddfgceddd
Haiku # 57075, July 29, 2017 5:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
I want to live near a golf course where only the elite rich play.
I would hunt them and drag them into the bushes, then carry them home.
Not too often... maybe every two years or so.
I would turn them into "artisan" Hungarian sausage and serve them to their friends at the corner cafe and bakery.
Eventually I would be caught, oh but the look on their friends faces would be sooooo worth it.
And what an awesome collection of golf balls I would have!
Haiku # 57074, July 28, 2017 10:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Huh huh huh... my wiener expanded.

Heh heh heh... yeah yeah, me too.
Haiku # 57073, July 28, 2017 10:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
we are entering
a time of what can be said
will be expanded

but it will not be
always for the best but it
needed to be done
Haiku # 57072, July 28, 2017 8:58 pm ET
by vhs
at the end of the
day the mind recalls a bit
of inner data

and forms surreal night
cinema for our pleasure
and we wake up to

a world more unreal
Haiku # 57071, July 28, 2017 7:34 pm ET
by vhs
way too much caffeine
and not enough nutrients
Haiku # 57070, July 28, 2017 5:49 pm ET
by jgoines
i just walked into a room
full of parakeets
morgan freeman is explaining
how a universe made of cheese works
jupiter is like what the fuck
i generally avoid people
but i'm really bad at it
introverted and extroverted
Haiku # 57069, July 28, 2017 5:39 pm ET
by dvd
Big snake in my head
That tells me to do bad things
But I still have fun
Haiku # 57068, July 28, 2017 5:20 pm ET
by alfamike
Shadows without end
Sweet chorus to leave once more
Silence falls troubled
Haiku # 57067, July 28, 2017 5:18 pm ET
by Olea europaea
Tropical city dust and blinding smog sweating charcoal with maggots freshly laid in mosquito bites meningitis encephalitis elephantiasis hippity-hop testicular transport processed cheese hydrogenated shortening sandwich animal balloon veins and concrete arteries. Caffeine. Lady boys nauseate.
Jiggling gelatinous injections. Cannibalistic swine pork back cubes blood on a stick chicken feet entree.

Haiku # 57066, July 28, 2017 3:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
invasions bring cash
credit, etcetera but
new england, maine much

so is given to
relief when the tourists go
home for the winter

shovel roof for say
15 bucks, i had that story
told to me Tuesday
Haiku # 57065, July 27, 2017 5:02 pm ET
by vhs
you know there's some form
of beauty in ugliness the
spider's webs though of

"death" were weaved and they
make sexy patterns for hot goth
girls outfits they wear
Haiku # 57064, July 27, 2017 3:13 pm ET
by vhs
Selective sponges.
Beauty washes over us.
But filth permeates.
Haiku # 57063, July 27, 2017 2:08 am ET
by df
The absence of sun
Will be the demise of the
Flocks of cone eaters
Haiku # 57062, July 26, 2017 9:00 pm ET
by Dig
In the heart of fate
I feel the intensity
Sweeping me under
Haiku # 57061, July 26, 2017 8:41 pm ET
by Dig of Camden
i pop in when i
have time, made a friend aware
of here, he does too

tried to get others
I have this weird faith thing you
see, makes me do stuff

like "post poems here"
Haiku # 57060, July 26, 2017 8:37 pm ET
by vhs
I'm not a patient
man by any means I am
disappointed in

the zeitgeist of those
who seem lost in perpetual
digital extrovert

culture, lost children
never knowing how to have
a real line of talk

then again I paid way too much attention to that book called Reclaiming Conversation and quite frankly this whole website is an ongoing conversation
Haiku # 57059, July 26, 2017 8:14 pm ET
by vhs
that's really good df
Haiku # 57058, July 26, 2017 7:45 pm ET
by vhs
They speak with their eyebrows.
They eat aborted fowl.
They sweat acetic acid.
Karaoke mating call.
Beauty skin deep.
Staph infections and leprosy.
Nothing underneath.
Assimilation of advanced cultures is not progress, not civilized, not sophisticated, not art.
Consumed and vomited caviar is still just barf.
Consumed and vomited barf is hideous.
Assimilation of consumed cells, evolving into swine.
Sodomizing monotremes extremes FB memes.
Dried fish with dried maggots breath freshener.
Sewage accumulates, swimming in refuse.
3rd world decay.

Humans live on islands. Filth live in cities.
Apathy must die.
Haiku # 57057, July 25, 2017 9:38 pm ET
by df
a clone army of vhs
under the command of vhs
given a mission...

a version of star trek
starring clones of vhs
as every character
Haiku # 57056, July 25, 2017 7:41 pm ET
by dvd
hmm i often tease
a co worker for dumping
ketchup on her shoes

and i ask her hey
you wanna ketchup with me
here later on then?
Haiku # 57055, July 25, 2017 12:23 pm ET
by vhs
A single fat drop
Dangling from a red tip
I need more ketchup
Haiku # 57054, July 25, 2017 12:19 pm ET
by Mauzy of Canada
if someone cloned me
i wonder if i would get sick
of me talking

over and over
about whatever it was
i talk on and on...
Haiku # 57053, July 25, 2017 12:00 pm ET
by vhs
who needs a net to
catch the image when you can
just go out the front

door and see it one's
self, analogue, logged, logs, birds
down the hill blue fields
Haiku # 57052, July 25, 2017 11:46 am ET
by vhs of blueberry land
your net connection
so slow can't even download
a single gif file
Haiku # 57051, July 24, 2017 4:39 pm ET
by spambot of automated slam poetry
a plague of spam
bots decends across the world
for some reason if

they were all good at
this sort of thing there'd be spam
bot poetry websites
Haiku # 57050, July 23, 2017 7:59 pm ET
by vhs
i don't know what's worse
the disaster or the thought
and waiting for it

we can't worry but
there's always this sort of weird
prepper's bug some folks

get from times like these
with people holding signs with
repent on their boards
Haiku # 57049, July 23, 2017 7:11 pm ET
by vhs
Wolf howls disturbed
Trouble brews with no answers
Candles sway truthful
Haiku # 57048, July 23, 2017 12:22 pm ET
by alfamike
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