the difficult path
turns out to be easier
in the long running

no, sometimes what's odd
is even keeled but thinks
like number seven

Hello!

It's odd how haiku
look like a hand turned sideways
giving the finger.

Over consumption
of Central American
cuisine bloats my gut.

Like a puffer fish,
a balloon ready to pop,
I thusly explode.

As lava erupts,
rivulets run hot and foul,
filling the caverns.

Below city streets,
the newborn life, if called that,
becomes self-aware.

I calculated
how many farts it would take
to make the Big Bang.

She sat in her pee,
homeless woman on the bus,
her private limo.

all the angry plots
movements in the past have all
turned to toast for "death"

it is the passage of time

so i hate losing
my lunch and calming down then
realizing hulk smashed

I think what pisses
me off most about psychos
trolls, terrorists and

the assholes who can
get away with muder and
keep drinking the blood

of the less courrpt
around them, so the joke is
do we become more

evil in order to
deal with the truly evil
and no one won

hmm?

and the tempting is
to punch the person who screams
"go fuck yourself" and

the Christ says turn the
other cheek, but respond, he
strikes first, you bring out

the weapon, draw blood
he cries victim, so there's the
damn paradox there

walk away from the God
damn psycho whom drove others
off here or keep on

engaging him till
perhaps his last day comes and
new voices can say what

they will because the
psycho is dead, time kills all
of us, good and bad

so fuck the SJWS
fuck the Communists
fuck Silicon Valley
fuck people who say fuck you
you will die
i will die
fuck you doesn't stop death
it may be today
it may be tomorrow
how will you be remembered
and will your death be new life
or death eternal
fuck us all
we all die
let that be a lesson to you

Go fuck yourself!

Hello!

Why does the word "calle"
always appear in captcha phrases
and what does it mean?

Keep the cash, return
the wallet filled with pooped on
Monopoly cash.

Demand a reward
in gross sexual favors
paid on Christmas Eve.

If you think that's bad,
you should see what I do with
the cell phones I find.

riding on the bus
you find wallet full of cash
What you do with it?

Why would you think that
I'd be an HA member?
(Haiku 'Nonomous.)

For step number 8,
Suck Matsuo Basho's farts
from an old clay jug.

They taste like frog legs
eaten under the moonlight
with magic mushrooms.

i suspect all my
talk of posting here will just
be me myself and

I...De La Soul in
the house when Rap had a chance
to be something, else

then again there's "Nerdcore"

i got a spam call
from Virginia today i
said i don't know a

person named Virginia

Hello!

well you know it's like
charlie at the bar where's he
at, oh he went to

AA but he'll be
back sucking down PBR
after Step 8 is done

I am not okay.
I don't see why I should be.
I'm fucking awesome!

Seriously though,
did you think something was wrong?
My life is boring.

Get out of my brain
you Goddamn syphillis germs!
Her name was Phyllis.

My vagina stinks.
Oh wait, I'm not a woman.
That would explain it.
--Bruce Jenner

Hello!

the next haiku just
seems an obligation that just
to keep on truckin'

Hello!

one hour can make a
huge difference in how i
feel in the morning

Daylight savings time
Recognizing our orbit
Is a subtle thing

the dark side and the
light side i bought a book on
baby boomers as

a generation
of psychopaths and that of
course is an over

simplification
but it does make sense on some
grander level yet

Neil Howe says they are
"prophets" and do get wild eyed
with that religion

thing there, metaphor
so keep writing Satanic
haiku about the

intimidation
factor, there you know, i know
what i want as well

Animals aren't rude.
They only know what they want.
You'd make a fine steak.

Inappropriate
radioactivity
illumination.

Ill lumen naughty.
Grow an extra testicle.
You just might need it.

Randell liked hotdogs.
Physicist with fuzzy cyst.
White bread Velveeta.

He's better off dead.
Sorority house orgy dreams.
He loved his Playboys.

"He looked like an ape."
But that would be rude to apes.
Canned meat and cum smell.

well you know those darn
Tribbles get out of hand and
you need a dang ship

of a klingon sort
to beam em off too so they'll
be no tribble at'all

Starship Enterprise
call me a nerd if you wish,
but I love that shit

Dingline chloride
artificial flavor for
dingleberry pie.

Something offensive.
Again, but even more so.
Kittens and puppies.

the first big story
was the Sumerian
Gods but i forget

Tiamat is just known
by most as a 5 headed
dragon with lots of

hit points in DnD
and people might think of a
giant marshmallow

man when they hear some
thing like "sumerian God"
parody of Lovecraft

rest in peace Egon

as per promise

GRR! BURGER BURGER!!!!!
BURGER! BURGER BURGER (pause)
BURGER!!!! BURGER!!!! (pause)

burger...

listen you know you
forget law vs grace and
all that sort of thing

the legal vis a
loving God, then we get to
witchcraft and flying

spaghetti monsters
and then the Goddess of the
Golden Apple there

old Eris, and all
some one to do is not Hail
Satan or Eris but

just hail a taxi
go home and jerk off to some
vhs porn off the grid

Do not masturbate.
For that is against Jesus.
Instead kill sinners.

My wife's a fat pig.
Pigs are cute and smell better.
Think I'll buy a pig.

lather, rinse, repeat
down my road to self defeat
turn around, retreat

Beer will cure cancer.
Use it for blood transfusion.
Worked for my uncle.

well mead is good, some
claim but you know wiccan chats
girls named Silver Wolf

Fiona Ravenbrush,
or Skywise (wait that's Elfquest) ah
Wendy Pini, bows

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*meet
... goddammit

I have shit to do.
So until we meed again...
{Bends over and farts.}

Crocodile meat
isn't bad, but expensive
and a bit chewy.

Not as bad as squid.
I think you know what I mean.
Lean green jelly bean.

I'm in no mood for
being deep and shit today.
I want to eat dog.

Dinosaurs are cool.
If you could travel through time...
Jesus or T-Rex?

I'd bring them both back.
Let them fight on Pay-Per-View.
I'll take the lizard.