Dinosaurs are cool.
If you could travel through time...
Jesus or T-Rex?

I'd bring them both back.
Let them fight on Pay-Per-View.
I'll take the lizard.

I've said that before.
But I haven't said this yet.
I guess I just did.

I should be working.
Instead I'm drinking coffee.
For this I get paid.

The witch's nose mole,
the shrill cackling laughter,
the rotting black teeth.

One should not visit
sickly whores of Siquijor;
they'll cook and eat you.

They start beautiful.
Then look more like pigs each day.
They eat too much pork.

Confucius once say
"Man who masturbates daily
has life well in hand."

After nine-one-one,
remember Bush's great speech?
nuclear fusion.
All the world's problems.
He solved in twenty minutes.
What an awesome dude!
Or a giant douche.
Not one of his predictions
ever came to be.
Problems can be solved.
But still more are created.
Cash in your chips now.

seems everyone wants
to write novels now, there's a damn
laptop with dreams of

being a romance
writer somewhere in a chinese
basement office

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Hello!

the world is now seen
to be full of nuts but the
shells are not off yet

oh doctor strangelove
i knew you then, even now
Yes Mein Furher, I

mean...mister president.
Inspector Clouseau is
so long gone and missed

Things will be okay
Humans are remarkable
Problems can be solved

If earth is flooded,
I hope all mosquitoes drown.
We'll be like Venus.

Hot, sweaty, acrid.
Worst venereal disease:
Global warming clap.

I'm going outside.
Standing on my head naked.
See my asshole, God!

Fuck, I hate the rain.
Climate change and for the worse.
My asshole is clean.

The Japs understand.
That's why they have coffee shops.
But not for coffee.

Young girls, short dresses,
mirrored floors, see-thru panties.
Can I get more cream?

We need comedy.
The laughter as nukes go off.
Smile so brightly.

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Well, Origami.
I'd rather have salami.
It's the paper cuts.

the end of time will
begin shortly after miss
lady gaga does

a gig with the band
megadeth, metallica was
the 6th seal broken

and the jokes go on
did you hear the one about
the wiretap? well

of course you did if
you were listening in on
xyz affairs

Full body massage.
Held in a fart the whole time.
Ideal gas law.

The words of Jesus
written on a bathroom wall.
Save your soul and shit.

I red my captcha.
No kidding: "Graveyard to let".
Now that's irony.

politics by all
other names is war by means
other than violence

it becomes one man's
joke and the rest have moved on
novelty wears off

Catsuit VonPooper
Meows below my window
Fresh air is priceless

Taint misbehaving
Scripture sexy scent saving
Should have stopped sooner

That just blew my mind
I think I just blew myself
Justice sniff my taint

To keep from cumming
when I am fucking my wife,
I think of my wife.

grumpy old redneck
said mother nature made bodies
to last 30 years

he also said use
it or lose it, but some guys
can drink forever

smoke, move heavy things
and die like Lemmy did at
70 or something

Screw the tissue test
Just a trick to sell toothpaste
With bad addatives

Hello!

Australian spam
Made with kangaroo butt meat
Still tastes just like poop

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body begin to fuck up
when history needs

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the right people to go to their
rooms without supper

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There's nothing to say.
Listen to me anyway.
Pa-root toot-toot. Ahhhhh!

Psycho chicks are cool.
They sure know how to suck dick.
Thank God for Satan!

My wife's ass is fat.
And that's not in a good way.
So now I hate God.

Bad haiku are just
haiku that give you blow jobs
after the poem.

now that's more like it
i like it, cynical, bad
and lack of hope hides

all the hope in the world
the hope is disguised

Oh the rules of peace...
Compulsive lying is one
Hatred another

x greater than or equal to −6 or x less than or equal to 5

The faster mankind
destroys itself, the faster
the world will know peace.

one can't deal with a
mob of anger that doesn't know
the rules of true peace

Hello!

Hello!

well you got that right
let's make america grate
all hail the big cheese