It's time to eat shrimp.
Then get drunk on cheap-assed rum.
Then puke up the sea.

Oh chaos monkey,
Deliver us, get funky
Time to blow chunky

drunken confusion
dog hair loves divinity
how high can one get?

well then there is the
other you know "Hittlery?"
think about it then no

matter who is in
the white house they are going
to get the black ball

Do not speak his name.
He's Tyrant-o-sore-ass Rump.
Or T-Rump for short.

i got a black ma
gick woman and she knows where to
stick the pins hunny

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Crap is so crappy
it will make one unhappy
Stupid and sappy

unrequited love:
so painful and hopeless; please
kill me humanely

I do not like math.
There are too many numbers.
Lets get rid of some.

We can build a wall.
To keep all the numbers out.
Make Math Great Again.

Fireworks exploding
Band plays patriotic song
Parking lot puker

Insects sang loudly.
The old drunkard mooned the moon.
The face smiled wide.

oh the hell with it
happy valentine's day and
these words are filler

like chocolate

You can't leave the rock.
But you can get your rocks off.
Go smoke a crack rock.

Or buy a pet rock.
Or listen to rock and roll.
Or go rock climbing.

Don't forsake the rock.
That is the wrong thing to do.
Embrace minerals.

But that takes some balls.
Have you got the minerals?
How much are they worth?

What are they made of?
Are they diamond or gold?
They are mine, all mine!

we are all one tribe
stuck on this dirty planet
can't get off the rock

I'm to understand
all some of those folks know is
the law of the tribe

the way of the camp
the stick, the master and in
cities none the less!

Before and after.
Penis enlargement techniques.
What else would they need?

i wonder if we
can have subtitles for these
arabic postings...

it will probably
say something about boner
pills and bigus dicks

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I'm very thirsty.
But can't go in the kitchen.
My wife is in there.

Suppose you could run
So fast you went back in time
When would you run to?

well we shall know the
end is nigh when people start
riots over rain storms

cloudy days or too
much fog in the morning so
snow on babe snow on

Our species is doomed
Dumbest reproduce fastest
A losing battle

i guess people are
going to protest the obvious
now but what's odd

a fucking Simpson
joke became real and is now
a real thing right now

My new dinosaur.
The Tyrant-o-sore-ass Rump.
Aka T-Rump.

It has tiny hands.
The crown is bright orange feathers.
It thinks it's the king.

What would Jesus do?
He would sacrifice a cow.
They did that back then.

Kosher sloppy Joes.
Served on a whole wheat bagel.
Oy vay already!

Damn it, my wife's home.
I was going to watch porn.
Oh well, I'll just sleep.

Imagine coffee.
Before you know it, it's real.
The power of thought.

no i do not live
in hawaii, i wish i did
three feet of snow on

monday, i swear to
god it could rain blood and frogs
here and people would

just not move

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Dude! Seriously?!
You're living in Hawaii?!
Now I DO hate you!

I've considered it.
Surf and sun and clean living.
I love the ocean.

The cost is quite high.
What are the schools like out there?
I bet it's heaven.

If I'm ever there...
I'll terrorize the local
poetry readings.

she said if i moved
i would miss the snow...ha ha
hawaii has pele'

i wish more people
would come here and just get back
into the game of this

my heart goes out to
well my heart just goes out and
i hope just for a bit

On Valentine's Day,
if you're not getting any,
you won't get VD.

Oreos love milk.
Lizards do not love blenders.
Neither has a choice.

Because here is a list of multiplayer games is ageddkgbdged

Snow falls on the pine trees in the garden
My head hurts
I must stop drinking myself to death

well it is not the
old days of on line stuff where
it was cookies, spam

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Sexy suicide
Skydive without a parachute,
and do it naked

i know, but it takes
an ego to ergo, but i
want more people, here

Big Bird's ass is cute.
Bert and Ernie get me hot.
Elmo, not so much.

Disclaimer: This haiku is not meant to represent or have anything to do with any living or deceased person or persons, especially vhs.

Oh, it about you.
But it's always about you.
I keep forgetting.

already dying, don't
need to speed things up, I'm in
no rush to go yet

gotta keep bugging you

Elegant suicide.
Skateboard into a shark tank.
Make it beautiful.

I've never seen a
helium-filled blow up doll
at a football game.

They should have been at
the Trump inauguration,
but, alas, they weren't.

I might watch the game
Just to see the commercials
That is the best part

superbowl sunday
the game will of course be had
with snacks and might cause

upset bowel bowl
sunday with nachos and the
like, pass the bean dip