Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 150 Days and 70431 Haikus later...

Big Bird's ass is cute.
Bert and Ernie get me hot.
Elmo, not so much.

Disclaimer: This haiku is not meant to represent or have anything to do with any living or deceased person or persons, especially vhs.
Haiku # 56048, February 6, 2017 10:06 pm ET
by df
Oh, it about you.
But it's always about you.
I keep forgetting.
Haiku # 56047, February 6, 2017 10:00 pm ET
by df
already dying, don't
need to speed things up, I'm in
no rush to go yet

gotta keep bugging you
Haiku # 56046, February 6, 2017 12:09 pm ET
by vhs
Elegant suicide.
Skateboard into a shark tank.
Make it beautiful.
Haiku # 56045, February 5, 2017 9:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I've never seen a
helium-filled blow up doll
at a football game.

They should have been at
the Trump inauguration,
but, alas, they weren't.
Haiku # 56044, February 5, 2017 7:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I might watch the game
Just to see the commercials
That is the best part
Haiku # 56043, February 5, 2017 4:19 pm ET
by Adorable Kittens
superbowl sunday
the game will of course be had
with snacks and might cause

upset bowel bowl
sunday with nachos and the
like, pass the bean dip
Haiku # 56042, February 5, 2017 11:00 am ET
by vhs
we live in a world
of instant communication
and these words stick

but are forgotten
because they keep coming so
silence is more rare
Haiku # 56041, February 4, 2017 11:04 am ET
by vhs
I think that I will
write a haiku or maybe
that would take too much

work.
Haiku # 56040, February 4, 2017 3:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
spammers to spam but
who would eat that spam, shall we
say monty python?

yum yum yum...and fries
Haiku # 56039, February 3, 2017 12:11 pm ET
by vhs
Thanks Haiku and best regards!
Haiku # 56038, February 3, 2017 6:12 am ET
by Health Blog of https://healthresidents.com/truth-phen375-results
Christ I need a beer.
Please pick some up at the store.
Prove that you love me.
Haiku # 56037, February 3, 2017 3:23 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gold dust flatulence.
A.k.a. Toot Uncommon.
It will get you high.
Haiku # 56036, February 3, 2017 3:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Don't huff gold spray paint.
That's how Tutankhamun died.
Rather uncommon.
Haiku # 56035, February 3, 2017 3:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Drain tunnels are home.
Hobos, rats, and princesses.
The art is priceless.
Haiku # 56034, February 3, 2017 3:09 am ET
by df
Antigravity
must be achieved else we'll die
choked by toxic waste.
Haiku # 56033, February 3, 2017 3:07 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Obey gravity.
Especially if you're old.
Nursing home skate punk.
Haiku # 56032, February 3, 2017 3:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ponce De Leon's well
remains elusive to all
and that's a good thing.
Haiku # 56031, February 3, 2017 3:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you caught spammers,
would you then execute them?
And if yes, how so?
Haiku # 56030, February 3, 2017 3:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hairs clog the wheels.
Disassemble, lubricate,
good as fucking new.
Haiku # 56029, February 3, 2017 2:59 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It's love at first sight.
The pavement kissed my buttocks.
My buttocks kissed back.
Haiku # 56028, February 3, 2017 2:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fat sleepy puppy
Wakes himself up by farting
Won't be the last time
Haiku # 56027, February 3, 2017 12:52 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Experienced now,
longevity's in question,
the outcome is not.
Haiku # 56026, February 2, 2017 11:59 pm ET
by zach of Sacramento, CA
Freedom has been lost.
The drug was dragged through the dregs.
Et carpe vulvum.
Haiku # 56025, February 1, 2017 8:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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Haiku # 56021, February 1, 2017 10:04 am ET
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Haiku # 56020, February 1, 2017 8:45 am ET
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Haiku # 56019, February 1, 2017 8:45 am ET
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Haiku # 56018, February 1, 2017 8:44 am ET
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Haiku # 56017, February 1, 2017 8:44 am ET
by wwruorit of USA
The wisest words said:
"I am in a world of shit!"
It's absolute truth.
Haiku # 56016, January 31, 2017 8:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
preceding third line
should read as follows herein:
"sloth, ennui, genius"
Haiku # 56015, January 31, 2017 12:12 am ET
by Lush
its 'themes obvious,
said my bassist with a lisp
ennui, genius
Haiku # 56014, January 31, 2017 12:09 am ET
by Lush
turgid, morbid stuff
double vinyl first release
Sad: So The Devil
Haiku # 56013, January 31, 2017 12:05 am ET
by Lush
shred virtuosic
Dopamine Deficiency
my doom metal band
Haiku # 56012, January 31, 2017 12:02 am ET
by Lush
You are adopted
Your parents abandoned you
We thought you should know
Haiku # 56011, January 30, 2017 9:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Damn those silly bulls.
Much like sheep, they're miscounted.
But when I'm awake.
Haiku # 56010, January 30, 2017 9:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
God's helicopters.
Dragon flies are amazing.
Older than dinosaurs.
Haiku # 56009, January 30, 2017 9:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
In his younger days
he also wrote a book called
"Bitches and Cocaine".
Haiku # 56008, January 30, 2017 9:20 pm ET
by df
leonard nimoy had
to come to terms with "spock" and
wrote two books on that
Haiku # 56007, January 30, 2017 12:55 pm ET
by vhs of I'm Not Spock and I Am Spock
Turtles eat feces.
It's quite a disgusting thing.
They're just like children.
Haiku # 56006, January 30, 2017 1:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The frogs have returned.
What could they be resisting?
Turtles are happy.
Haiku # 56005, January 30, 2017 1:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
An army of frogs.
Tiny hopping baby frogs
swarmed the parking lot.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
They were toad.
Haiku # 56004, January 29, 2017 8:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You got it backward.
They shoot asteroids fields.
And planets appear.

A lush green planet.
Full of life and stuff like that.
Thus call it "Life Star".

Wait, Star Trek did it.
Or something quite similar.
Thus Spock was reborn.

Of all the celebs,
I miss Leonard Nimoy most;
He kicked so much ass!
Haiku # 56003, January 29, 2017 8:12 pm ET
by DF
if the Rebels had
a superweapon could not
the more artsy grey

minded folks go is
not the Rebellion evil
or Kevin Smith and

independent work
to get the Death Star made but
as one guy said if

you know who you are
working for, you deal with the
consequences there
Haiku # 56002, January 29, 2017 12:27 pm ET
by vhs
There is no Life Star.
It shoots rays at asteroids.
Planets then emerge.

It does not exist.
Thus proves the point I'm making.
Jedi are lazy.

Sith are hard workers.
They always get the job done.
Let's destroy the Earth.
Haiku # 56001, January 28, 2017 8:24 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Endor, eating BBQ ewoks.
Inappropriate
sexual relationships
with pack animals.
Haiku # 56000, January 28, 2017 8:16 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
murmuring onward
vasospasm sounds like a
black metal band but

well if i am toast
then it will just be "df"
and spam posting here

I don't plan on that
Haiku # 55999, January 28, 2017 1:14 pm ET
by vhs
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