Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 254 Days and 71038 Haikus later...

preceding third line
should read as follows herein:
"sloth, ennui, genius"
Haiku # 56015, January 31, 2017 12:12 am ET
by Lush
its 'themes obvious,
said my bassist with a lisp
ennui, genius
Haiku # 56014, January 31, 2017 12:09 am ET
by Lush
turgid, morbid stuff
double vinyl first release
Sad: So The Devil
Haiku # 56013, January 31, 2017 12:05 am ET
by Lush
shred virtuosic
Dopamine Deficiency
my doom metal band
Haiku # 56012, January 31, 2017 12:02 am ET
by Lush
You are adopted
Your parents abandoned you
We thought you should know
Haiku # 56011, January 30, 2017 9:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Damn those silly bulls.
Much like sheep, they're miscounted.
But when I'm awake.
Haiku # 56010, January 30, 2017 9:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
God's helicopters.
Dragon flies are amazing.
Older than dinosaurs.
Haiku # 56009, January 30, 2017 9:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
In his younger days
he also wrote a book called
"Bitches and Cocaine".
Haiku # 56008, January 30, 2017 9:20 pm ET
by df
leonard nimoy had
to come to terms with "spock" and
wrote two books on that
Haiku # 56007, January 30, 2017 12:55 pm ET
by vhs of I'm Not Spock and I Am Spock
Turtles eat feces.
It's quite a disgusting thing.
They're just like children.
Haiku # 56006, January 30, 2017 1:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The frogs have returned.
What could they be resisting?
Turtles are happy.
Haiku # 56005, January 30, 2017 1:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
An army of frogs.
Tiny hopping baby frogs
swarmed the parking lot.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
They were toad.
Haiku # 56004, January 29, 2017 8:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You got it backward.
They shoot asteroids fields.
And planets appear.

A lush green planet.
Full of life and stuff like that.
Thus call it "Life Star".

Wait, Star Trek did it.
Or something quite similar.
Thus Spock was reborn.

Of all the celebs,
I miss Leonard Nimoy most;
He kicked so much ass!
Haiku # 56003, January 29, 2017 8:12 pm ET
by DF
if the Rebels had
a superweapon could not
the more artsy grey

minded folks go is
not the Rebellion evil
or Kevin Smith and

independent work
to get the Death Star made but
as one guy said if

you know who you are
working for, you deal with the
consequences there
Haiku # 56002, January 29, 2017 12:27 pm ET
by vhs
There is no Life Star.
It shoots rays at asteroids.
Planets then emerge.

It does not exist.
Thus proves the point I'm making.
Jedi are lazy.

Sith are hard workers.
They always get the job done.
Let's destroy the Earth.
Haiku # 56001, January 28, 2017 8:24 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Endor, eating BBQ ewoks.
Inappropriate
sexual relationships
with pack animals.
Haiku # 56000, January 28, 2017 8:16 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
murmuring onward
vasospasm sounds like a
black metal band but

well if i am toast
then it will just be "df"
and spam posting here

I don't plan on that
Haiku # 55999, January 28, 2017 1:14 pm ET
by vhs
B====D ~o ~o ~o #
Haiku # 55998, January 28, 2017 5:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
america rulz
cotton candy succulent
rodent talk to you
Haiku # 55997, January 27, 2017 7:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
drunker than Homer
sir, your heart has a murmur
unaffordable
Haiku # 55994, January 27, 2017 2:22 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Small yapping poodle.
Run down by an Army tank.
These thoughts warm my heart.
Haiku # 55993, January 26, 2017 9:08 pm ET
by df
How many knees would
negros grow if negros could
grow knees? Forty-two.
Haiku # 55992, January 26, 2017 7:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I mean double-stuffed.
Not those wimpy mini cups.
Eat them between tits.
Haiku # 55991, January 25, 2017 11:23 pm ET
by df
They are best frozen.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Chased with Sky vodka.
Haiku # 55990, January 25, 2017 11:19 pm ET
by Decadence
i like peanut butter
cups myself, nothing like
chocolate and that

addictive
Haiku # 55989, January 25, 2017 12:03 pm ET
by vhs
Oh my pretty mouth.
Much better than cigarrettes.
Prison currency.
Haiku # 55988, January 25, 2017 8:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pi-ells That is two.
Buttercup purty mouth boy.
Squeal loud for me.
Haiku # 55987, January 25, 2017 3:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
this feels like one guy
talking to himself when i
want to see more folks

talking to each post
and of course old fashioned post
this post that post these
Haiku # 55986, January 24, 2017 1:41 pm ET
by vhs
as for me i'm a
gonna write whatever and
hope it adds up here
Haiku # 55985, January 24, 2017 1:40 pm ET
by vhs
You should stick to math;
Piles is just one syllable
Look it up snowflake.
Haiku # 55984, January 24, 2017 9:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That's not a haiku.
"Piles" has two syllables.
You old foot pervert.

Yes, they leave shoes out.
Strange that foot-lovers aren't called...
pedophiles. Doh!

Much like Santa Claus,
You can leave "gifts" in their shoes.
Instead of their socks.

Gooey, sticky gifts.
It will increase shoe lifetime.
Chinese products suck.
Haiku # 55983, January 24, 2017 7:01 am ET
by df
These Asian shoe piles;
Do they leave them out at night?
Sniffing shoes is fun!
Haiku # 55982, January 24, 2017 12:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Asian shoe piles.
Huge mounds of shoes block front doors,
indicate who's rich.

The house entrance blocked.
The children inside will starve.
But it saves money.

With the money saved
buy a new house, make more kids,
go shopping for shoes.
Haiku # 55981, January 23, 2017 7:27 pm ET
by df
sounds like performance
art, not my nature to be
of that sort of act

meant to challenge the
social code of culture, but
times will come again

when poetry speaks
irony wails and people
will find doorways to

John Malkovich's mind
(floor 13 1/2 I think)
Haiku # 55980, January 23, 2017 1:47 pm ET
by vhs
You need a challenge
Pilfer something from someone,
mail it back to them
Haiku # 55979, January 23, 2017 1:03 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
autoerotic spam boots
you said the philipines well
what about Imelda?

and her shoes?
Haiku # 55978, January 22, 2017 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
Overlooking a fetid drainage creek from an uppity coffee shop in a 3rd world country, knowing I am the cause of all these problems, I ponder the fact that I cannot become as evil as I need to be to attain pure enlightenment.
Haiku # 55977, January 22, 2017 9:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
They farted so much
that they caused global warming
and arid conditions.

Those dumb sauropods.
They should have taken Bean-O.
What's in your gas tank?

We should all ride bikes.
In the end nothing matters.
extinction awaits.

Super cockroaches.
Advanced alien life forms.
Reproducing droids.
Haiku # 55976, January 22, 2017 8:22 am ET
by Doomsday is a Party
Dinosaurs are cool.
They were not responsible.
But should they have been?
Haiku # 55975, January 22, 2017 12:35 am ET
by
Reading these haiku.
A Philippino breakfast.
Fifty percent SPAM.
Haiku # 55974, January 22, 2017 12:33 am ET
by df
The best advices about login to 192.168.0.1, you will find at our website http://19216801ip.com/!
Haiku # 55973, January 21, 2017 5:57 am ET
by 192.168.0.1 of NY
eye knead sum phat words
mathematics is gibberish
do time warp again
Haiku # 55972, January 21, 2017 4:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We think you should know,
Alpacas are animals.
John Elway is God
Haiku # 55971, January 21, 2017 3:52 am ET
by Raider Nation of Master Bait Station
Mudbox is a software for 3D sculpting and painting which is developed by Autodesk. kcdaekceffddeedk
Haiku # 55970, January 21, 2017 2:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
trump licked up my rump
obama licked my mama
Can't lick 'em? Join 'em.
Haiku # 55969, January 20, 2017 10:41 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
god bless 'merica
trump says now you're back on top
he's fucking with you
Haiku # 55968, January 20, 2017 9:26 pm ET
by ash
Hello!
Haiku # 55967, January 20, 2017 5:36 pm ET
by oroyuypo of USA
alpaca lips now
and llama assholes later
Dali Lama doll.

the brand new sex toy
inflatable Buddhist monks
all natural lube.
Haiku # 55966, January 20, 2017 2:42 pm ET
by
let the world burn down
the apocolypse has begun
I can't spell it right.
Haiku # 55965, January 20, 2017 2:24 pm ET
by df
hmm, given the theme
of today's guy in office
let haiku be great

again
Haiku # 55964, January 20, 2017 12:56 pm ET
by vhs
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