Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 25 Days and 77405 Haiku later...

as for me i'm a
gonna write whatever and
hope it adds up here
Haiku # 55985, January 24, 2017 1:40 pm ET
by vhs
You should stick to math;
Piles is just one syllable
Look it up snowflake.
Haiku # 55984, January 24, 2017 9:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That's not a haiku.
"Piles" has two syllables.
You old foot pervert.

Yes, they leave shoes out.
Strange that foot-lovers aren't called...
pedophiles. Doh!

Much like Santa Claus,
You can leave "gifts" in their shoes.
Instead of their socks.

Gooey, sticky gifts.
It will increase shoe lifetime.
Chinese products suck.
Haiku # 55983, January 24, 2017 7:01 am ET
by df
These Asian shoe piles;
Do they leave them out at night?
Sniffing shoes is fun!
Haiku # 55982, January 24, 2017 12:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Asian shoe piles.
Huge mounds of shoes block front doors,
indicate who's rich.

The house entrance blocked.
The children inside will starve.
But it saves money.

With the money saved
buy a new house, make more kids,
go shopping for shoes.
Haiku # 55981, January 23, 2017 7:27 pm ET
by df
sounds like performance
art, not my nature to be
of that sort of act

meant to challenge the
social code of culture, but
times will come again

when poetry speaks
irony wails and people
will find doorways to

John Malkovich's mind
(floor 13 1/2 I think)
Haiku # 55980, January 23, 2017 1:47 pm ET
by vhs
You need a challenge
Pilfer something from someone,
mail it back to them
Haiku # 55979, January 23, 2017 1:03 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
autoerotic spam boots
you said the philipines well
what about Imelda?

and her shoes?
Haiku # 55978, January 22, 2017 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
Overlooking a fetid drainage creek from an uppity coffee shop in a 3rd world country, knowing I am the cause of all these problems, I ponder the fact that I cannot become as evil as I need to be to attain pure enlightenment.
Haiku # 55977, January 22, 2017 9:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
They farted so much
that they caused global warming
and arid conditions.

Those dumb sauropods.
They should have taken Bean-O.
What's in your gas tank?

We should all ride bikes.
In the end nothing matters.
extinction awaits.

Super cockroaches.
Advanced alien life forms.
Reproducing droids.
Haiku # 55976, January 22, 2017 8:22 am ET
by Doomsday is a Party
Dinosaurs are cool.
They were not responsible.
But should they have been?
Haiku # 55975, January 22, 2017 12:35 am ET
by
Reading these haiku.
A Philippino breakfast.
Fifty percent SPAM.
Haiku # 55974, January 22, 2017 12:33 am ET
by df
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Haiku # 55973, January 21, 2017 5:57 am ET
by 192.168.0.1 of NY
eye knead sum phat words
mathematics is gibberish
do time warp again
Haiku # 55972, January 21, 2017 4:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We think you should know,
Alpacas are animals.
John Elway is God
Haiku # 55971, January 21, 2017 3:52 am ET
by Raider Nation of Master Bait Station
Mudbox is a software for 3D sculpting and painting which is developed by Autodesk. kcdaekceffddeedk
Haiku # 55970, January 21, 2017 2:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
trump licked up my rump
obama licked my mama
Can't lick 'em? Join 'em.
Haiku # 55969, January 20, 2017 10:41 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
god bless 'merica
trump says now you're back on top
he's fucking with you
Haiku # 55968, January 20, 2017 9:26 pm ET
by ash
Hello!
Haiku # 55967, January 20, 2017 5:36 pm ET
by oroyuypo of USA
alpaca lips now
and llama assholes later
Dali Lama doll.

the brand new sex toy
inflatable Buddhist monks
all natural lube.
Haiku # 55966, January 20, 2017 2:42 pm ET
by
let the world burn down
the apocolypse has begun
I can't spell it right.
Haiku # 55965, January 20, 2017 2:24 pm ET
by df
hmm, given the theme
of today's guy in office
let haiku be great

again
Haiku # 55964, January 20, 2017 12:56 pm ET
by vhs
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Haiku # 55963, January 20, 2017 3:40 am ET
by yuorteee of USA
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Haiku # 55962, January 20, 2017 3:40 am ET
by peeteorp of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55961, January 20, 2017 3:39 am ET
by roypyryu of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55960, January 20, 2017 3:39 am ET
by trteeoti of USA
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Haiku # 55959, January 20, 2017 2:55 am ET
by genies alan of Tasik
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Haiku # 55958, January 20, 2017 2:51 am ET
by bin
i love you herpes
make me delicious sandwich
hot air balloon ride
Haiku # 55957, January 20, 2017 2:07 am ET
by amnotamouse pulpit
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Haiku # 55956, January 19, 2017 5:22 am ET
by tywttwto of USA
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Haiku # 55955, January 19, 2017 5:21 am ET
by rwwopwiw of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55954, January 19, 2017 5:18 am ET
by wwoewuti of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55953, January 19, 2017 5:18 am ET
by ywwirruo of USA
Sure, haiku is bad.
Is it worse to read or write?
Sloppy underpants
Haiku # 55952, January 19, 2017 12:40 am ET
by Satan take the wheel
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Haiku # 55951, January 19, 2017 12:01 am ET
by wiyweror of USA
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Haiku # 55950, January 19, 2017 12:00 am ET
by urirpywu of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55949, January 19, 2017 12:00 am ET
by oiweeowe of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55948, January 19, 2017 12:00 am ET
by tptorieo of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55947, January 19, 2017 12:00 am ET
by roouppyt of USA
Learn to be happy.
Shove your cock up a dogs ass.
Think of Donald Trump.

But you were dreaming.
What's all over your bed sheets?
Nutella Cheetos.

How could it be worse?
You could be reading haiku.
Oh, but wait, you are.
Haiku # 55946, January 18, 2017 6:24 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of The basement of Trump Tower playing online chess with Vladameercat Pootin'.
still they feed us lies
from the tablecloth but you
know system of a

down came around when
the system was down so good
protest music? ack.

Bloom County over Doonesbury, but RIP Hunter S. Thompson
Haiku # 55945, January 18, 2017 1:00 pm ET
by vhs
Anders is so bald
The light reflects off his dome
My eyes just melted
Haiku # 55944, January 18, 2017 5:01 am ET
by woop the poop of emma watson's panties
Puppy skeet is fun.
Launch them from a catapult.
Or puppy-a-pult.

Play it near a beach.
With shark infested waters.
Penguins will thank you.
Haiku # 55943, January 18, 2017 4:06 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Not PRC
permethrin toxicity in cats bessant
Haiku # 55942, January 18, 2017 2:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
permethrin toxicity in cats bessant
Haiku # 55941, January 18, 2017 2:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
As you read these words
Think about puppies playing
Did that make you smile?
Haiku # 55940, January 18, 2017 12:58 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
I'm listening to badly sung Lady Gaga covers in an Asian coffee shop next to a toy store that sells Lego and Star Wars rip-offs from China. Why do these red bloody cunts not have an iota of originality in their tiny-dicked bodies? And the "milk" is boxed powdered milk and makes the coffee taste like shit and I'm thinking I'll have to buy a cow. Crumbling streets, lack of proper sewage control, electricity goes down more often than a Beijing whore, water is brown and often not working and likely contains sewage. China hates the US b/c we are everything that China is not. And vice versa.
Haiku # 55939, January 17, 2017 7:59 pm ET
by vhs' evil shadow of The underbelly of the world
excuse me can't you
please take your god damn spambot
back to PRC

and put the ying with
the yang, stop with posturing
over say Taiwan

and I'm not done yet
Haiku # 55938, January 17, 2017 1:32 pm ET
by vhs
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Haiku # 55937, January 17, 2017 9:23 am ET
by iturrrou of USA
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Haiku # 55936, January 17, 2017 8:56 am ET
by ittoppii of USA
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