Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 148 Days and 70424 Haikus later...

Learn to be happy.
Shove your cock up a dogs ass.
Think of Donald Trump.

But you were dreaming.
What's all over your bed sheets?
Nutella Cheetos.

How could it be worse?
You could be reading haiku.
Oh, but wait, you are.
Haiku # 55946, January 18, 2017 6:24 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of The basement of Trump Tower playing online chess with Vladameercat Pootin'.
still they feed us lies
from the tablecloth but you
know system of a

down came around when
the system was down so good
protest music? ack.

Bloom County over Doonesbury, but RIP Hunter S. Thompson
Haiku # 55945, January 18, 2017 1:00 pm ET
by vhs
Anders is so bald
The light reflects off his dome
My eyes just melted
Haiku # 55944, January 18, 2017 5:01 am ET
by woop the poop of emma watson's panties
Puppy skeet is fun.
Launch them from a catapult.
Or puppy-a-pult.

Play it near a beach.
With shark infested waters.
Penguins will thank you.
Haiku # 55943, January 18, 2017 4:06 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Not PRC
permethrin toxicity in cats bessant
Haiku # 55942, January 18, 2017 2:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
permethrin toxicity in cats bessant
Haiku # 55941, January 18, 2017 2:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
As you read these words
Think about puppies playing
Did that make you smile?
Haiku # 55940, January 18, 2017 12:58 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
I'm listening to badly sung Lady Gaga covers in an Asian coffee shop next to a toy store that sells Lego and Star Wars rip-offs from China. Why do these red bloody cunts not have an iota of originality in their tiny-dicked bodies? And the "milk" is boxed powdered milk and makes the coffee taste like shit and I'm thinking I'll have to buy a cow. Crumbling streets, lack of proper sewage control, electricity goes down more often than a Beijing whore, water is brown and often not working and likely contains sewage. China hates the US b/c we are everything that China is not. And vice versa.
Haiku # 55939, January 17, 2017 7:59 pm ET
by vhs' evil shadow of The underbelly of the world
excuse me can't you
please take your god damn spambot
back to PRC

and put the ying with
the yang, stop with posturing
over say Taiwan

and I'm not done yet
Haiku # 55938, January 17, 2017 1:32 pm ET
by vhs
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Haiku # 55937, January 17, 2017 9:23 am ET
by iturrrou of USA
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Haiku # 55936, January 17, 2017 8:56 am ET
by ittoppii of USA
I like the helpful information you provide in your articles. Ill bookmark your weblog and check again here regularly. I'm quite certain I will learn plenty of new stuff right here! Good luck for the next!
Haiku # 55935, January 17, 2017 8:55 am ET
by iturrrou of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55934, January 17, 2017 8:55 am ET
by uiityyey of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55933, January 17, 2017 8:55 am ET
by writreoo of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55932, January 17, 2017 8:55 am ET
by urupiptp of USA
lets not talk about
haiku website rule number
one, no one doth care

no one is here, i
wish people did care about
this sort of thing now
Haiku # 55931, January 17, 2017 7:21 am ET
by vhs
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Haiku # 55930, January 17, 2017 3:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
The older I get
the more I grow bigoted.
It's experience.
Haiku # 55929, January 15, 2017 7:38 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Augmented matrix.
Keanu Reeves with fake titties.
Now you know my mind.
Haiku # 55928, January 14, 2017 11:13 pm ET
by df
All the time wasted.
I could have been doing math.
Procrastination.
Haiku # 55927, January 14, 2017 11:09 pm ET
by df
Some words are quite large.
Do not use them in haiku.
Horses raping sheep.
Haiku # 55926, January 14, 2017 11:07 pm ET
by df
The goose lays gold eggs.
But she cannot fly at all.
She's the perfect slave.
Haiku # 55925, January 14, 2017 8:11 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I just shat a bike.
It needed minor repairs.
Now I need butt cream.
Haiku # 55924, January 14, 2017 8:06 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
you form a band then
realize you were a commie
front all those damn years
Haiku # 55923, January 14, 2017 10:59 am ET
by vhs
I think I'll have the
vegan bacon cheese burger
and a diet coke.
Haiku # 55922, January 14, 2017 8:05 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of palihog, salamat, way sapayan
It fills you with rage.
What can you do about it?
Not a fucking thing.
Haiku # 55921, January 14, 2017 1:39 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
raindrop lollipop
my hamburger death sentence
shoehorn redemption
Haiku # 55920, January 14, 2017 12:44 am ET
by Potential names of my band
I hated your smiles,
screaming, shouting, angrily
shattering my mind.
Haiku # 55919, January 13, 2017 12:29 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
Virus pasta strands.
Uncoiled in a tin can.
It's not Italian.

Canned corn beef and Spam.
Rejected genital meat.
Pressure cooked nostrils.

Nitrates to preserve.
And to weaken the sperm cells.
Thus we slide backwards.

It is as designed.
And appears to be working.
The poor grow stupid.
Haiku # 55918, January 13, 2017 1:58 am ET
by
Listen to heartbeats
of the time I spent with you;
remorse and regret
Haiku # 55917, January 12, 2017 12:54 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
Never seen monkeys
using any monkey wrench.
This confuses me
Haiku # 55916, January 12, 2017 11:15 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Raviolli give
me the formuolli cuz
I have AIDS in my
Haiku # 55915, January 12, 2017 9:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of keester
Oh, give me a break.
You could use a few monkeys.
But couldn't we all.
Haiku # 55914, January 12, 2017 8:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
when the spam shows up
it is like the monkey wrench
knocks out my writing

distraction
Haiku # 55913, January 11, 2017 1:26 pm ET
by vhs
Falling in love with
Death and his clockworks, though you're
still clinging to life.
Haiku # 55912, January 11, 2017 11:09 am ET
by Robin Goodfellow
This is a great blog, would you be involved in doing an interview about how you created it? If so email me!
Haiku # 55911, January 11, 2017 6:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
This is a great blog, would you be involved in doing an interview about how you created it? If so email me!
Haiku # 55910, January 11, 2017 6:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
I'm really enjoying the themedesign of your website. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A handful of my blog audience have complained about my site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox. Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?
Haiku # 55909, January 11, 2017 4:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
I'm really enjoying the themedesign of your website. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A handful of my blog audience have complained about my site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox. Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?
Haiku # 55908, January 11, 2017 4:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
I'm looking forward
to the extinction of us
with ice cream on top.

Event A La Mode.
Though chocolate is preferred.
We'll make cool fossils.
Haiku # 55907, January 11, 2017 1:49 am ET
by
But Beethoven's butt
bounces by beautifully
between bassoon beats.
Haiku # 55906, January 11, 2017 12:37 am ET
by
Queefs are pussy farts.
But they are not really farts.
But that's a good thing.
Haiku # 55905, January 11, 2017 12:33 am ET
by
Wide, innocent sighs
dreams and nightmares fall for you
like lovers in time
Haiku # 55904, January 10, 2017 3:43 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
i might argue that
Rapture is a song by Blondie
Fab Five Freddy...
Haiku # 55903, January 10, 2017 1:27 pm ET
by vhs
When dogs rule the world
We will greet one another
With much butt sniffing
Haiku # 55902, January 10, 2017 9:01 am ET
by Renowned Futurist
Christ, I need coffee.
Fuck all this poetry shit.
The drug is calling.
Haiku # 55901, January 9, 2017 9:01 pm ET
by
The rapture happened.
Only three people arose.
We are what is left.
Haiku # 55900, January 9, 2017 8:57 pm ET
by of
the old stand bys stand
obliterated by the
passage of passing
Haiku # 55899, January 9, 2017 11:56 am ET
by vhs
Of philosophies
dead branches of withered nights;
rotting memories
Haiku # 55898, January 9, 2017 11:23 am ET
by Robin Goodfellow
Hello!
Haiku # 55897, January 9, 2017 4:11 am ET
by opyyouuw of USA
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