the gold skinned savage
was way too smart to fall for
cheap cybersex ploys.

My pants are shrinking
They get tighter and tighter
I should drink lite beer.

give you new purpose
it certainly doesn't use
word processing

Word processing class
at community college.
Is this my purpose?

Meaningless presence:
A man standing on the side
of a spinning ball.

I am bored even
of the doodles I create
inside my notebook.

She said she loved me,
would always be there for me,
My wife won't like that.

Airplane toilets flush
Frozen chunks of blue water
Hooray! It's raining!

I pulled my finger,
Just to see what would happen.
Doesn't work like Dad's does.

its a good! becuase
I liked dee on-YON! schlong schlong
I do geerontee

the sweat of Venus
descends to bathe ebony
nipples, down-under

keep the classroom cold
helping to keep you awake
counting the nipples

it is an art form
ball adjusting in public
nevermind the stares

Flatulence, Butane
a deadly combination.
Blue flame from my bum.

glad I found this site.
hope I didn't offend you.
Fuck You if I did.

Depends are my friend
Best product since the remote!
I never get up.

Burning and churning,
my intestines now empty
Parasites all gone!

it's not funny, my
ASS is on FIRE, flames shooting.
Diarrhea flows!

Roaring asshole spews
chunks of sewerage into
my nice, clean Depends.

what was it that I ate?
caused me to get the slip shits?
Montezuma wins!

Paul Bearer, what a
great name for an evil dude.
Send you straight to Hell!

Cravin Moorehead is
a great name for me right now.
Down girl, get that bone!

Harry Ballsanya
Embarrasing name for sure.
Mean Mother and Dad

grabbing my glue stick
with both hands, I try to stick
both my eyelids shut

evangelinsts get
fucked a lot, all that hellfire
gets the ladies hot

Error 404
The webpage cannot be found
Check out this porn site

I have just been spammed
by a "net evangelist".
Well, hallelujah.

Four cocks shooting jism
All over Britney Spears' mouth.
This isn't Yahoo..

Okay, that's a lie.
I'm not really a real fridge.
More of a toaster.

Sheena, I am the
Epitome of chilledness.
In fact, I'm a fridge.

charcoal grey ocean
oblique silver shafts of light
broken cumuli

the art of haiku
requires much contemplation
and numeracy

single male haiku
looking for female haiku
object good syntax

i am double spaced

floating in my own bell jar

like a demon bird.

distinctions are blurred
horizon surrounds me now
earth and sky are one.

rain's duality
suits my personality
wow, tacky rhyming.

i walk in the rain
dreamy with melancholy
feelin' poetic

why not shave back, ash?
'most as good as belly lint
for stuff pillow with

scrunty, take a chilllll
whate'r, tis of small import
no questions, no lies.

damn seeds in my pot!
I wish they were magnetic,
then I could just smoke.

silence is golden
but then again so is piss
slience is not wet

ha ha ha ha ha

hee hee hee ha hee hee

ho ho ha fuck you

douche dripping down on
my head, freshness from the bag
cool summers eve soothes

new and improved site
does this mean less bad haiku ?
perhaps it means more ....

upon reflection
this eclectic collection
deserves inspection

DROP OFF THE EXTRA
SYLLABLES, PLACE THE HAIKU
ON THE GROUND, FUCKA

my conscience is clear
as is my (unshaven) back
i have no regret

not law enforcement
i am merely a minder
regarding haiku

ash are you a man
or woman haiku cop? now
we know you are shaved