oh the weirdos
that are waiting at Bad Haiku
to get me help help

this is another
haiku test
another test

My lover soothes me
He frees my soul, loves me whole
need him by my side.

Oh TV Dinner
Made from assorted beef parts
I crave your goodness

Jennifer Lopez
transmigrating with the souls
of the comatose

just cuz years go by
don't mean good tunes got to die!
old glam rock's legit!

Little swollen toe
Spider's vengence acted out
And still no powers

enjoy the weekend
have a beer and watch a game
get some yard work done

go to the movies
twenty dollar date. popcorn.
can't finish the tub

morning, big breakfast
running errands...relaxing...
wind down with T.V

Lunch break should be done
Yet they take another hour
Registrar from Hell

Godwin's Law means that
I get to call you "Nazi"
Eventually

hoy tang-ina ka
nagkakalat ka rito
pakilala ka

To afford new books
I had to strike a bargain
Only my first born

Yahoo Personals
Haven for social disease
Oh yeah! Count me in!

bad at using forms
wanted to mention kahlo
i take submissions

I can't stop laughing
about the dirty washcloth
glad my ass is clean

she sleeps next to me
me, on my side...she, on hers
right on the wet spot

do me a favor
throw me that dirty washcloth
need to wipe my ass

intellectuals
...yawn...it's better to live life
than live in your head

a photo of me
and my true love sits squarely
in my line of sight...

Damn the World Wide Web...
unpunished Bad Haiku page...
Web Wide World the Damn...

Stay out the Bushes...
So says Jessie Jackson of
the Yellow Rose George.

Jesus is Lord so
why all that rhetoric
needed to save me?

feel the texture of
the photons on the surface
of your retnas

Morons laugh at their
dumb jokes and blankly stare at
intelligent wit.

unFortUnately
Sea HorsEs don't havE any
uNderwAter hay

Critics everywhere
I'll punch them in the stomach
and watch them cry! HA!

The swing of the bat
Like thunder the ball leaves bat
Ooops... DUCK! OLD LADY!!!!!

This haiku was brought
to you by the letter Q;
Q is a bad ass

oh but don't get the
idea i'm like
bitter or nothing

a half-assed excuse
to sell hallmark and roses
fuck that, little cupid-butt

love is like santa
really big, really cheesy
really stupid lie

internet dating
sucks like an electrolux
so does other kind

ah well screw him then
or not, he can sink back to
the black depths he's from

i think i cracked his
fragile male ego -maybe
that's why no email

bored out of my skull
will something interesting
ever happen, huh?

okay that was dumb
this is BAD haiku, ya know
so sue me, it sucked

life is like a bowl
not cherries, not chocolate
toilet's accurate

fuck you washcloth douche
go watch some south park, okay?
irrigate your mind

Overconfident-
the damnable creep Spencer.
Whining intern nerd...

POWERPUFF GIRLS dream
of pounding Mojo Jojo,
a big-brained monkey

R M S you got
the idea your second
try-five the last line

I want to escape
Depart from the cloned workdays
Need more vacation!

no second chances
pay attention, learn quickly
adapt, overcome

Haiku is Poo Poo
If its bad, its sad for you
Have a nice day anyway

monkey junkie, don't
stick a needle in your lip
kisses won't be felt

damn, haiku is dumb.
why do you suppose that is?
like duh! stupid arse!

personality
lots of personality
face like a flounder

why complete silence?
Chealea is gone away now
awful solitude

it's been on awhile
but still, South Park makes me laugh
genius, pure genius