I've been there, Mama.
All the way around the bend.
I'm back now. "I'm HEEE-EERE!"

Vernon and Ginny -
Hermaphrodite? Homophobe?
Ambisexual?

Regret now sets in.
Why the hell did I click that?
The TV screen... blank!

Tie the bonnet on
Poke my scalp with your device
Oh, bleach burns like hell

a daughter's whining
pleading to watch her "Bambi"
a bundle of joy

the black velvet sky
blankets the vast horizon
putting ash to sleep

emasculated,
lecher dreams salaciously:
prurient obsession

gentle melodies
the end of a long day's work
prelude to a sleep

THE WONDERFUL EAR
Ahem...

Frogs sometimes riddup
Their moyuths open, say riddup
The ear can hear it

My ear is on me
It has lots of big fat wax
The ear can hold it

The ear has a hole
It is very dark inside
The ear

I like trees a lot
They have got green leaves yeah man
But they don't have bars

I can see a chair
There is no one sitting there
But it is not empty

WHAT A WOMAN WANTS, WHAT A WOMAN NEEDS
by Ginny

I am a woman
Treat me like an animal
Do me from behind.

I have a clit ring
My vagina is swollen
Let's fuck like mad dogs!

ROCK SOLID
by Vernon

The geologist
Who fucked the seismologist
Had his world rocked!

OH SO GOOD
by Vernon

She grabbed my penis
And sucked me like a vacuum
I came in her mouth.

She exclaimed with grace
As I pulled out with great haste
"Please cum on my face!"

RICHARD GERE
by Vernon

The proctologist
Retrieved a giant gerbil
From the man's anus.

On Valentine's Day
I saw two men packing fudge
I have a sweet tooth.

around the corner
is way better than around
the bend haiku hack

my own chemistry
now pristine synaptic cleft
flying at light speed

one hundred flowers
variety of acids
fan out in my mind

my four year old boy
croons his magic wordless spells
quieting my soul

a small procedure
lidocaine toxicity
not metabolized

OK, I'm pissed guys.
I wrote a REALLY bad one.
Hey... didja notice?

Taking Depakote?
Might as well stand in the cor-
Ner with a drool cup.

Keep writing Mama
Gives you temporary calm,
Gets out the "nasties."

ant's formic acid
fires a rocket in my eye
suddenly i wake

Mount Madonna Mama,
Sounds like you have endured a
Personal Holocaust

valproic acid
once ingested molested
neurochemistry

sticks and fuckin' stones
never was a good listener
got another scar

for a bitch like you
cigarette coal does wonders
got a three point scar

saw a sign today
don't play with balls in store
had to show my friends

A paradox?
Twister while the sun shows bright
Yeah, Indiana

for some haiku fun
come enter the battlefield
at Kung Fu Haiku

to shaggydoo and ash
you two seem to own this place
can i have fun too?

acerbic juices
of mount madonna's black hole
simply corrosive

A cool winter breeze,
just like an Alpine Ski-jump!
I think York's© are good.

Tick tock time shall pass
Yet it seems that time stands still
Boredom overcomes

naked feet slide through
the wet night grass worrying
their way among slugs

sharp tang of skunk scent
rolls in on the evening breeze
the dogs are riled

Sorry folks, I'm blushing.
Haiku Hackers' erotic
Fantasies unleashed.

I'll look at your grill.
Let me see it way up close...
Be gentle with it.

Your afro, Black Belt Jones,
Sounds a lot like my pussy.
Hey! Blondes have more fun.

Brains by the barrel
Allow my skills to prosper
Watch me as I grow

so, the gang's all here
but this here is not your ground
brains, not brawns, shall rule

So where is my point?
I have a knife in my hand...
Pardon the bad pun.

Turn and see my grill
Instant before you're life ends
You should look both ways!

My afro is gold
It's golden fleece from a sheep
It's value... priceless

If micromanaged,
Keep your integrity and
Tell them to piss off.

Well, I did nothing.
Really they did it all to
Themselves, the assholes.

I had three bosses.
I told them to go to hell.
I did this NICELY!

Shingles are on roofs.
Up there, they are a good thing.
Sheer hell on my back.