paper or plastic
paper or plastic paper
or plastic paper or.... choose!

My jeanshorts get stressed
By the thoughts of a woman
"Thumbing" for a ride

Our Forefathers fought
Struggled, and some of them died
For their kids future

Today we henpeck,
Complicating ev'rything
Why don't we just breathe

My son says I have
Earlucinations when I
Hear Things! He is 5

Kids say the darndest
Most extraordinary Things
They are why I Live

Sediment Layers
Tell of such great histories
But Layers must Lay

An ode to the old
Ken, Ash, Shag, Scrunt, Gramp and Bon
Thou Art was true Art

The old wind smells sweet,
Unlike the fowl artless waft
That churns o'er this site.

I hate it when peo-
Ple break up their words and phra-
ses between their lines

The secret to it --
Writing the best bad haiku
Is simplicity

If you don't like it
Haul your fat ass out of here
Bother someone else

There really are a
lot of sick twisted puppies
posting this feces.

winter's icy grip
freezing fingers in thin gloves
on the handlebars

they resealed my floor
inhaling toxic solvents
estapol junkies

First, five syllables
Then seven syllables more
One last syllable

Little wet raindrops,
Knocking on my windowpane,
Hoping to get in.

3 strikes you are out
man with 4 balls walks to first
i doubt he can run

That grass smells funny,
I think I'll pee over there
Dogs must live hard lives.

I keep getting stuck
have to use fillers, like, um
well, something like this

bad people have names
longer than other workers
"security guard"

little smelly pig
rolling round your muddy pen
i like your pork chops

two pokes of my stick
make you magically become
poked by my stick, fool!

the first poem stinks
i try, but worse is the lame
justification

haiku wrote too fast
misspelled, didn't count oh no
must do better now

cheez-it white cheddar
crisp crunchy tast good too
powder on fingers

cheez-it white cheddar
crisp crunchy tast good too
powder on fingers

Democrat Party
is eating my life quickly
two thousand one soon?

Horny, drinking Jolt
Keep your penis in your pants
You headless chicken.

Finger amputees.
When they try to write haiku
They can't count sylla

Haiku spreads weirdness.
Counting beats gives bad art name.
Heard of Dada? See?

Writing bad haiku
I should really be working
They can kiss my ass

I always crave more
Potato chips and haiku
Are both addictive

I cannot resist
I must write a bad one, too
I love bad haiku

I cannot resist
I must write a bad one, too
I love bad haiku

I'm glad my friend Jen
has stopped harassing me. Now
i have peace at last

Bored At Work

I can tell what type
of day it will be after
getting my first call

Cheese! Geez! Please!
The aliens screamed, and in their cheesy-lust
They destroyed our Earth

Build a big monster,
Then you feed the big monster,
The harder they fall.

nate compton is gay
not really i just hate him
no im just messin

fvg3fe

jenna is ousted
you don't understand at all
its an inside joke

sex

To correctly write
haiku, you must constantly
count on your fingers.

after your mom and i fucked
i bought her a duck
man that bitch bucked

May is upon us
The Chinese restaurant's Dumpster
Horrendously reeks

eating the spinach
you crotch smells like a fish store
i never get head

Don't think me fickle<
But I like my cheeseburgers,
With extra pickles!

Chronic 2000
go do what Dr. dre says
buy it and bump it

Some haikuist jerks
Use this form to write obscene
And very dumb stuff

New England sucks ass
NEED OUTTA THIS FUCKING JOB
want a cold beer fast