Folded shit stained sheets
Into putrid Rorschach Test
Saw bottle of booze

Awoke this morning
To delirium tremens
Shat myself and wept

Capitalism
Inevitability
Cannibalism

Googled for Haiku
Stumbled onto a porn site
not much poetry

Counting grains of sand
should take up most of my day
I could use some help

Wal-mart sex oil sales
Up during "sex holidays."
Cheap lube for my menz!

It say's,"Bad Haiku"
Can't all be as good as you.
Excuse my mistake

"er" is seventh. Bah!
Counting can be hard without
Seven lil' fing"er"s.

Riding for Jesus
Twist the throttle wide open
and say all your prayers

Headless fish laying
stinking on the sun drenched pier
Didn't make it home

Counting syllables
One, two, three, four, five, seven
What happened to six?

Why cross the wide road?
To get to the other side...
Watch out for bird flew.

The pterodactyl
is past like the rest and all ~
it's not poetic.

The double dactyl,
Like "gastrointestinal"
Is most poetic

a clever arsehole
delivering smart humour
must be a wisecrack

All the way down here
She smells like soaked garbage
Personal hygeine

Bored with your body?
Await metempsychosis
Might return a slug

TRIBUTE:
The crack of the bat
Also, the crack of my ass
I hate baseball games

Yikes! Synaesthesia
Didn't even drop today
Maniac flashback

rollerskating rink
national developer
black liberace

as one might expect
puppetry of the penis
hails from down under

the english can spell
as well as australians
but not those yankees

turning japanese
think i'm turning japanese
i really think so

Turning Japanese
Sweaty palm between my knees
The Vapors, not Squeeze

.|.

..

Only worthwhile show:
Puppetry of the Penis
Grab it if you can

Lack of grey and/or
Subject matter has left me
Grasping for straws, here.

Emotionally
Inept, and the results are
Broadway-themed haikus?

CABARET: Where life,
Along with Adam Pascal's
Ass, is beautiful.

RENT: Where one can see
Fighting lesbians become
Stellar thespians.

if Jesus married
wife nags "get a job" maybe
cross was sweet relief

so much food she just
couldn't stop but that's okay
little muffin top

Unleash the hashish
One way flight to TVLand
Why leave the bedroom?

you know the form ash
spinach and olive oil
fight to the finish

popeye knew the count
dominant with his beatings
iamb what iamb

like eating oysters
sliding over tongue down throat
salty sexy smooth

your poems blind me
bedazzled and bamboozled
white cane bad haiku

like eating raw fish
you'll find your taste for it grows
with experience

coax me from my shell
no need to butter me up
i know you want me

an i for an eye
take a good look at yourself
cornea than sum

Detached retinae
Dispatched by my retinue
The blind leading none

love flows in torrens
adelaide oh adelaide
where i first got laid

Haiku Haiku High
Haiku Haiku Haiku Coo
Haiku Haiku High

mimi in new york
rides the stripper pole at night
blogs away the day

i'm moved by movies
as regular as clockwork
my bowels are wringing

when the wave hits me
ill be dreaming of robots
who forgot bagels?

Vellocet, me droogs
Fuels ultraviolence
Skull smashing splendor

Bravo luminol
Enhancing luminescence
Upon bloody sheets