Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 39 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

i write hallmark cards:
you're that much closer to death
happy birthday mom
Haiku # 29987, May 2, 2003 6:04 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Whah, whah, whah whaaaahhhh!
(Sounds like Charlie Brown's
teacher)
Haiku # 29986, May 2, 2003 5:46 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
zibba zabba zippy wonka,
wibba wabba wally bonka,
stonka dubie donka plonka
Haiku # 29985, May 2, 2003 5:45 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
the final frontier
close your eyes and meditate
do you see it now?
Haiku # 29984, May 2, 2003 5:36 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
i must keep in step
it is fruitless to complain
just keep on dancing
Haiku # 29983, May 2, 2003 5:01 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
pretty little bee
sunflower concupiscence
nature's own porno
Haiku # 29982, May 2, 2003 4:47 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
a busy routine
but i always take time out
for crappy haiku
Haiku # 29981, May 2, 2003 4:35 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
i say what i say
no matter how it comes out
so please bear with me
Haiku # 29980, May 2, 2003 4:24 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
mangled sentences
the sound of harsh consonants
no poet am i
Haiku # 29979, May 2, 2003 4:18 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (nope, much too morbid to be pretty)
buddha gets grounded
no nirvana for a week
unless you behave
Haiku # 29978, May 2, 2003 4:14 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (the real ubermensche, a student's still in his jewish "resentiment" phase)
this is not a phase
for a cynic like myself
there's nowhere to go
Haiku # 29977, May 2, 2003 4:12 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
I screwed my mother
But my father complained, he
Told me he had Aids
Haiku # 29976, May 2, 2003 4:08 pm ET
by Sexually Frustrated of You offered, I attempted, Unternarr mit Senf
daddy got layed off
it's a fact of modern life
you're expendable
Haiku # 29975, May 2, 2003 4:04 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
i'm still not convinced
that pain is an illusion
for it's all too real
Haiku # 29974, May 2, 2003 4:01 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (if you use my screen name at least mak it fun jackass)
the music of tool
a sonic revelation
glorious mind-fuck
Haiku # 29973, May 2, 2003 3:59 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (spiral out)
I'm off to DC
gnome and me to see Dubba,
gotz 'splainin' to do
Haiku # 29972, May 2, 2003 3:19 pm ET
by onjaysun (tax cuts go to who?)
Ich brauche Asda
Zu meine billige Essen
Kaufen mit mein Geld
Haiku # 29971, May 2, 2003 2:14 pm ET
by A Student of I know that wasn't a proper haiku but hey, I'm drunk and I spell better than when sober, Narren
Six pints in two hours
Makes your Sri Lankan friends think
That you may be drunk
Haiku # 29970, May 2, 2003 2:11 pm ET
by A Student of But they are fools, anyway
Aber Deutsch ist gut
Die Frau ist nicht so gut und
Ich bin am besten
Haiku # 29969, May 2, 2003 2:10 pm ET
by A Student of Despite the fact that I was rubbish at the start of the year I rule now
Being a student
I have just consumed a vast
Amount of beer, fool
Haiku # 29968, May 2, 2003 2:08 pm ET
by A Student of No more coursework for me, but hey, I didn't do all that the bastards (lecturers) set, anyway
If you want to know
what god thinks about, just ask
a politician
Haiku # 29967, May 2, 2003 2:03 pm ET
by William Nippress
Not cream. Scum floats to
the top. Take a look at the
world through doubtful eyes
Haiku # 29966, May 2, 2003 2:00 pm ET
by William Nippress
Caban yabou sabpeak thabis
Haiku # 29965, May 2, 2003 1:47 pm ET
by William Nippress
Haven
Haiku # 29964, May 2, 2003 1:44 pm ET
by William Nippress
Anca uoya eakspa ackba langsa
Haiku # 29963, May 2, 2003 1:41 pm ET
by William Nippress
Otway iddway uoya asay
Haiku # 29962, May 2, 2003 1:38 pm ET
by William Nippress
I am Sasquatch,
I am Big Foot
I eat Pigs Feet
Haiku # 29961, May 2, 2003 1:31 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
uckfay ouyay
ump change ay yayy
oopy yayy
ucky oopay
doobie ball huay
chuky haaay
hoopy dooby
Haiku # 29960, May 2, 2003 1:30 pm ET
by sexually (anal) frustrated
Sometimes simple things
Give the most pleasure. That
Haiku # 29959, May 2, 2003 1:30 pm ET
by William Nippress
My dog love car rides
Stands looking out the window
Keeps on watching me
Haiku # 29958, May 2, 2003 1:26 pm ET
by William Nippress
I will suck ur dick for a dollah,
good golly mr. molly,lick u ball
face
Haiku # 29957, May 2, 2003 1:24 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Dog watches my every move
With my car keys in my hand
We race to the door
Haiku # 29956, May 2, 2003 1:22 pm ET
by William Nippress
Dirty pussy, whores and cunts,
Stinking like blue cheese, sitting
on my face, squirming
Haiku # 29955, May 2, 2003 1:21 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Recent rain puddle
Warm to the touch by the sun
School days memory
Haiku # 29954, May 2, 2003 1:17 pm ET
by William Nippress
Wet grass clings to shoes
As I walk from the parked car
Childhood memories
Haiku # 29953, May 2, 2003 1:14 pm ET
by William Nippress
Small bird looking at me
He sees not me, food his quest
Through the window pane
Haiku # 29952, May 2, 2003 1:11 pm ET
by William Nippress
Rain hammers the roof
Playing tune as old as time
Comforting memory
Haiku # 29951, May 2, 2003 1:05 pm ET
by William Nippress
very good, ap, the
world is full of evil and
soon you will be Mox
Haiku # 29950, May 2, 2003 12:16 pm ET
by Mox of evil is as evil does
SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED,
DEAD OR ALIVE???? HA, HAAAA,
HO, HO,HEEEE,HAAAAAA, HEEEE
HAAAAA, HAAAAAAAA!!!!
Haiku # 29949, May 2, 2003 11:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
JIMMY ''JJ'' WALKER,
DEAD OR ALIVE????
Haiku # 29948, May 2, 2003 11:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
ARNALD HORSHACK -
DEAD OR ALIVE????
Haiku # 29947, May 2, 2003 11:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
FAT ALBERT....DEAD OR ALIVE??
Haiku # 29946, May 2, 2003 11:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Eating a turkey sandwich,
munching pretzels, drink coffee.
This is break time for me.
Haiku # 29945, May 2, 2003 11:05 am ET
by Anna Lagua of San Fran
sf inna car
hos inna bar
stop the war
Haiku # 29944, May 2, 2003 11:03 am ET
by suppress inpress
stinky balls in my face
make me wanna mastabate
large and sweaty up my ass
life is good, i hope this lasts
Haiku # 29943, May 2, 2003 8:36 am ET
by sexually frustrated
then again i find
that people usually tend to
shine at 'the' x'pense
Haiku # 29942, May 2, 2003 3:03 am ET
by jerm
Yes I know it
Haiku # 29941, May 2, 2003 3:00 am ET
by sexualy frustrated
truly i cannot
spell for the life of me as
i delve in the groove
Haiku # 29940, May 2, 2003 2:57 am ET
by jerm
time is unlike a
once blinding miget porn groove
it must be delight
Haiku # 29939, May 2, 2003 2:56 am ET
by jerm
Rain sweeps across moor
Heathcliff cries out for Cathy
From novel I wrote
Haiku # 29938, May 2, 2003 2:52 am ET
by sexually frustrated
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