a simple pleasure:
watching tv in the nude
The Wheel of Fortune!

it's true you outgrow
tequila, wine, and Guiness...
but I'm not dead yet!

the non-alkie girl
unknown to the tequila
shot, lick, and lime chew

no fun for poor girl
alcohol tickles her nose
woo! more gin for me!

life's imponderables:
"should marshmallows be soft, squishy
or hard and crunchy?"

You misjudge windows
It will reap revenge if I
Buy a new PC

and for a virus
you should try influenza
you'll run much faster

it needs a good wash
pour water down the air vents
that'll shut it down

I just can't shut down
Windows crashes the system
It refuses to work

note to bartenders:
when serving good single malt,
don't ask "on the rocks?"

sagan and others
held a renaming contest
but sadly, "doink!" lost

I'd like a virus
It can only make Windows
Run somewhat faster

Names aren't everything
Science is about stuff like
Equations and !BOOM!

I can't count at all
Doing engineering and
I can't even count

Roll on the summer
When people wear less clothing
If any at all

The leaves in autumn
Display such a beautiful
Variation of shade

click-click click won't work
Stop your infernal clicking!
morons piss me off

Do NOT click delete
all your records will be lost....
see? i told you so.

Don't open that mail
Viruses are very bad
...I'm going home now

supervisor's sick
we're playing Baldur's Gate II
I'm on level 5

cenobyte forgot
to put name in box below
will remember now

thought i'd write a book
and call it "Help Desk Haiku"
then get it published

it has been too long
since cenobyte wrote haiku
oh look. it's still bad

Look how the cow stands
A pillar of peace and calm
As it clears green blades

The darkness of night
In the harsh white of winter
Does not bring release

Oh how the blossoms
Beautiful, sparkling with life
Hark, this way spring comes!

Seven is evil
Answer seven the test said
"Oops, that's only five!"

affirmative acts
forced a white house schism, how
'bout nepotism?

Third hill is smaller
But it will take much longer
To climb PEF

I have got four hill
One big, then bigger, smaller
And small at the end

Just take best care that
all these new hills are really
the way to the top

What's behind a hill?
A higher hill, calling you -
And then another

I've got a maths test
But I can't count to seven
Please no small numbers

I don't think that I
Have encountered any hairy
Boxes in the shops

a hairless tight box,
every man can have this treasure,
and some women too.

you should get out more
and find yourself some fresh meat
stop vegetating

stuck a cucumber
in my hairy box today
it did fit sideways

Bond asks for a match
Grinning, his contact replies
"your face and my arse"

If you have something
To say that's interesting
Then why do I post?

mellie, i agree
little PEF'ing poofter needs
meds and a long nap

scotch, i may have to
take you up on your offer;
careful what you wish

or failing that one
when you fail your exams
set up your own site



take charge of it then
and leave this free for others
you're a hog, a bore

go see the doctor
ask for something strong enough
then get to bed mate

I hope you fail
hope your computer crashes
as you no doubt will

It feels good to raise
Or should that be lower the
Standard of haiku

"Eve of St. Agnes"
solitary owl calling
Keats could say it all

"PEF worksheets.
"Keep them in a holy place please.
"They will thwart thine foes."

The Lord should have said
"Thou shalt complete material
"Balances all day."

The Lord said do not
Kill other christians or jews
Go kill the arabs

War!:
What is it good for?
Apart from killing arabs?
Promoting the Lord!