Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 351 Days and 77336 Haiku later...

"As your punishment
"You shall live on the earth, there."
"But it sucks there, God!"
Haiku # 25684, January 18, 2003 6:40 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
"Lou, did you tempt them?"
"Sorry, boss." "Go to Hell fool."
"But it's dark down there."
Haiku # 25683, January 18, 2003 6:39 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
"You ungrateful fools
"I told you to not eat them."
"But Lou the guy said...
Haiku # 25682, January 18, 2003 6:38 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
"Pilfering!" screamed God
"Someone has taken my stuff!"
"That was quite nasty."
Haiku # 25681, January 18, 2003 4:27 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
So Adam and Eve
Ate from the tree and then thought
But we're not high. Hey!
Haiku # 25680, January 18, 2003 4:26 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
"Eat from the tree for
"Err, when you do, err..." he thought
"It will get you high."
Haiku # 25679, January 18, 2003 4:25 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
But Adam and Eve
Were accosted by this guy
He said "He said what?"
Haiku # 25678, January 18, 2003 4:23 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
But God said "Look there...
"You will see a tree. My tree.
"So leave it alone."
Haiku # 25677, January 18, 2003 4:23 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
Of course before this
Adam and Eve were alive
They had a garden
Haiku # 25676, January 18, 2003 4:22 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
But he rose again
In the form of a bunny
To give eggs to kids
Haiku # 25675, January 18, 2003 2:02 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
But some peeps wre mean
"No!" they said. "You have a beard."
And so they killed him
Haiku # 25674, January 18, 2003 2:02 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
Thus: the Messiah
"Hello." he said to the peeps
"Hello." they said back
Haiku # 25673, January 18, 2003 2:01 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
But He had big plans
He had a vision and so
He began working
Haiku # 25672, January 18, 2003 1:41 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
Of course before that
God never had time to do
Anything at all
Haiku # 25671, January 18, 2003 1:40 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
"Hello." said Bob once
"Hello." I replied to Bob
"Hello." said Bob's wife
Haiku # 25670, January 18, 2003 1:06 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
Nascar? The U.S.
Likes repetitive things as
They are so simple
Haiku # 25669, January 18, 2003 12:21 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
"Hmmm." thought God, err, once
"I think I shall invent time."
And then time began
Haiku # 25668, January 18, 2003 12:19 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
Turn Left, Turn Left all.
What is the point,round and round.
Stop for some new tires.
Who can drive fastest?
Watch out for that huge pile-up.
Nascar excitement.
Haiku # 25667, January 18, 2003 11:40 am ET
by Ray of Garner
We spend hours watching,
The oblong ball fly through air.
Oh shit, he dropped it.
Haiku # 25666, January 18, 2003 11:37 am ET
by Ray of Garner
Encyclopedia?
Theophilanthropism?
Pure Shit, so says me.
Haiku # 25665, January 18, 2003 11:35 am ET
by Ray of Garner
"All work and no play
makes Jack a dull boy", thay say,
I guess it does, but
all play and no work
will probably make Jack an
interesting bump
Haiku # 25664, January 18, 2003 11:34 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
Bla, bla bla bla bla,
bla bla bla, bla bla: bla bla
bla bla bla, bla, bla.
(I can't believe he thought of that first)
Haiku # 25663, January 18, 2003 11:26 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
I don't think that Bad
Haiku is necessary,
why did she wrote that?
Haiku # 25662, January 18, 2003 11:19 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
Five-seven-five is
a very elegant way
for bad poetry
Haiku # 25661, January 18, 2003 11:09 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
Look for a film by
Akira Kurosawa
should be a good one
Haiku # 25660, January 18, 2003 10:50 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
The fragile minds of
Children who stumble across
The site may use them
In circumstances
Such as a family meal
"Please pass the salt." Oh...
Haiku # 25659, January 18, 2003 10:43 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
He ain't my nephew,
he really is half-nephew
of my half-brother
Haiku # 25658, January 18, 2003 10:38 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
My nephew is a
child, but he reads haiku, so
he is old enough
Haiku # 25657, January 18, 2003 10:33 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
that should have been "And"
"Anf" is not even a word
We are so sorry
Haiku # 25656, January 18, 2003 10:26 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
I don't have a wife
That is a nasty rumour
She's making it up
Haiku # 25655, January 18, 2003 10:21 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
I believe that I
Made clear the danger of bad
Language around children
Haiku # 25654, January 18, 2003 10:20 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
We have nothing to
say about life, so fuck you
anf fuck your wife, too
Haiku # 25653, January 18, 2003 10:18 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
Or, of course I could
Use floccinaucinihi-
-lipification
Haiku # 25652, January 18, 2003 10:16 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Well how about this
Theophilanthropism
Seven syllables
Haiku # 25651, January 18, 2003 10:14 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Paedophilia
Ever grows in it's hunger
For the young children
Haiku # 25650, January 18, 2003 10:11 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
But what is better
is underestimated
that is much longer
Haiku # 25649, January 18, 2003 10:10 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
Encyclopedia
is a five syllable word
so we beat you all
Haiku # 25648, January 18, 2003 10:01 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
me and my nephew
read this haiku stuff you write
but it is really lame
Haiku # 25647, January 18, 2003 9:52 am ET
by Gili & Ben of Israel
If you don't have the
Capacity for free thought
You shouldn't rule a shed
Haiku # 25646, January 18, 2003 7:39 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
my rule for weapons :
if you can't say nuclear
you can't play with them
Haiku # 25645, January 18, 2003 6:54 am ET
by ash
It makes perfect sense
The bush eliminates them
All for its father
Haiku # 25644, January 18, 2003 6:37 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
axis of evil
what comes around goes around
the gods are laughing
Haiku # 25643, January 18, 2003 6:31 am ET
by ash
As the man Bush is
The leader of the free world
He should comprehend
Basic concepts like
Freedom, leadership, poor folk
But a bush can not
Haiku # 25642, January 18, 2003 5:45 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
She said "Eat my ass",
I thought it a strange request.
The donkey was good.
Haiku # 25641, January 18, 2003 12:45 am ET
by Ray of Garner
If you are in town
Stop and get some fresh Spleen juice.
Straight from my organ
Haiku # 25640, January 17, 2003 11:06 pm ET
by Luke Duke of Boston, USA
She said, "Excuse me"
So I vomited on her.
She was not happy
Haiku # 25639, January 17, 2003 10:57 pm ET
by Luke Duke of Boston, USA
Slapshot from the point
Forward screens the goaltender
He shoots, and he scores
Haiku # 25638, January 17, 2003 10:48 pm ET
by Luke Duke of Boston, USA
Pass from the left wing
Right winger in the right place
Goalie not in time
Haiku # 25637, January 17, 2003 10:45 pm ET
by Luke Duke of Boston, USA
what is this need for
blabbing about our lead Bush?
nothing else to say?
Haiku # 25636, January 17, 2003 8:48 pm ET
by ComiCat of Jerzey
this feline, it seems,
has an admirer or two.
meet for what purporse?
Haiku # 25635, January 17, 2003 8:46 pm ET
by ComiCat of Jerzey
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