Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 351 Days and 77336 Haiku later...

without censorship
one person's profanity
is another's verse
Haiku # 25580, January 17, 2003 7:19 am ET
by ash
Have scotch in my bed?
I have some scotch by my bed
The whisky, that is
Haiku # 25579, January 17, 2003 6:17 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
deep in winter's grip
we slip into flannel sheets
where we create heat
Haiku # 25578, January 16, 2003 8:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
rocks are much too hard
i recommend you have scotch
in your bed instead
Haiku # 25577, January 16, 2003 8:09 pm ET
by scotch of as a nightcap...you know
i saw two of three
second "Lord" did not equal
though first was ok.
actually, though
it wasn't so bad if you
allow for translate.
Haiku # 25576, January 16, 2003 7:10 pm ET
by sheena
wow, i'm the sixteenth
on prolific poets list?
but ash still ruleth.
Haiku # 25575, January 16, 2003 7:07 pm ET
by sheena
Look at PEF
Is it not a perfect three
Letter summation
Haiku # 25574, January 16, 2003 7:04 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
scotch, can i have a
triple on the fucking rocks?
please? thanks very much.
Haiku # 25573, January 16, 2003 7:04 pm ET
by sheena
since i was ruthless
i should expect no quarter
but i wish i did...

since i was unmoved
he's not held to it
it's my selfishness

that makes me want to
keep what i did not
earn the right to have.
Haiku # 25572, January 16, 2003 7:02 pm ET
by sheena
some three letter words
are much more irritating
than four letter ones
Haiku # 25571, January 16, 2003 7:01 pm ET
by scotch
But just how many
Of my haikus featured the
letters PEF?
Haiku # 25570, January 16, 2003 6:58 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
this site's had death threats
rape threats, forgery, slander...
not to mention pef
Haiku # 25569, January 16, 2003 6:57 pm ET
by scotch of fucking bad haiku
I'm number twenty
On the list of haikuers
I should get out more
Haiku # 25568, January 16, 2003 6:57 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
As the internet
Becomes more available
Foolish children in
Pushchairs will learn to
Use internet browsers and
Come across such sites
Haiku # 25567, January 16, 2003 6:54 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
We should rise above
Such abuse and live in peace
Like Mr T says
Haiku # 25566, January 16, 2003 6:53 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
perhaps the answer
is to keep kids in pushchairs
away from this site
Haiku # 25565, January 16, 2003 6:52 pm ET
by scotch of fucking bad haiku
What society is
This in which young children use
Terms of abuse
Haiku # 25564, January 16, 2003 6:51 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
I heard a young child
In a pushchair with his mum*
Utter the term "fuck"
*Obviously his mother was not in the pushchair
Haiku # 25563, January 16, 2003 6:49 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
and as we all know,
kids who don't know those "bad words"
are loved by their peers
Haiku # 25562, January 16, 2003 6:35 pm ET
by scotch of the fucking office
Bad language is bad
Hence the bad in bad language
Children might see it
Haiku # 25561, January 16, 2003 5:38 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
fuck off moxie
Haiku # 25560, January 16, 2003 5:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The logic of a shrub:
Kill the arabs now
They have arranged marriages
With other people
Let them have freedom
And marry other members
Of their family
Haiku # 25559, January 16, 2003 4:45 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
"Saddam had warheads?
"How can a war have a head?"
"Just attack him, sir."
Haiku # 25558, January 16, 2003 4:42 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
my hat's off to you,
onjayson, for showing class
hey, who stole my hat?
Haiku # 25557, January 16, 2003 4:36 pm ET
by scotch of (punctuation styles never lie...well, occasionally, but not often)
Basketball Jones I
Got a Basketball Jones oh
Baby oooh eeeee oooh
Haiku # 25556, January 16, 2003 3:41 pm ET
by onjaysun
my love waits for may
the hours change like seasons
i miss you so much
Haiku # 25555, January 16, 2003 3:08 pm ET
by tiger of vegas
Don't mind you using
"onjaysun" but I'm now owned
by Disney...Good Luck!
Haiku # 25554, January 16, 2003 3:01 pm ET
by onjaysun
met ralph carney too
who played on most waits albums
guy's a freaking nut
Haiku # 25553, January 16, 2003 2:33 pm ET
by scotch of the makeout room
jonathan richmond
looked puzzled as we shook hands
'course he always does
Haiku # 25552, January 16, 2003 2:32 pm ET
by scotch of the makeout room
Warheads in Iraq
Burns those Christ haters to Hell
We know they don't bathe
Haiku # 25551, January 16, 2003 2:07 pm ET
by onjaysun
party really wokked
rice presents, great foo, Canton
wait until next year
Haiku # 25550, January 16, 2003 12:09 pm ET
by onjaysun (Happy Year of the Ram)
waiting for tiger...
bribing time to hurry up
must make the time count
Haiku # 25549, January 15, 2003 10:06 pm ET
by Bob Jones, Esq. of El Armpito, TX
my love in vegas...
two hour to far away
may will never come
Haiku # 25548, January 15, 2003 10:04 pm ET
by Bob Jones, Esq.
the alarm went off
and no thought went through my head
except to sleep more
Haiku # 25547, January 15, 2003 10:03 pm ET
by Bob Jones, Esq of El Armpito, TX
the cat licks his ass
so comical in Jersey
licking and purring
Haiku # 25546, January 15, 2003 7:15 pm ET
by NewCat
Tapping keys and mice
Makes one think of bug rampage
Who will Raid whom first?!
Haiku # 25545, January 15, 2003 5:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
some special baptist
deliverance customs but
still, possessed by void
Haiku # 25544, January 15, 2003 4:28 pm ET
by Mox
just remember if
Gorgo delivers your meal
don't order Dr. Pibbs
Haiku # 25543, January 15, 2003 4:26 pm ET
by Moxie of I miss MST3K
A Chinese New Year
party tonight, foo much food
hope to have much fung
Haiku # 25542, January 15, 2003 3:07 pm ET
by onjaysun (will look for peepee in pepsi)
the alarm goes off
and a though ran through my head
it all starts again.
Haiku # 25541, January 15, 2003 1:05 pm ET
by tiger of vegas
you are cute bob jones
but you sure are a bubba
i like your marmot!!!
Haiku # 25540, January 15, 2003 1:00 pm ET
by tiger of vegas
This too shall pass as
a test, as we are alive
it still goes on, as

we test each other
by our own personal and
maybe, unfair, ways
Haiku # 25539, January 15, 2003 11:11 am ET
by Mox
there's this snob problem
with some educated, they dwell
on style, not the fun...
Haiku # 25538, January 15, 2003 11:09 am ET
by Mox
I am not afraid
Doing the practice exam
Has been quite simple
(for one question at least)
Haiku # 25537, January 15, 2003 8:00 am ET
by A Student of Mancheser
exam phobia
as they say "this too shall pass"
even if you don't
Haiku # 25536, January 15, 2003 7:58 am ET
by ash
Where is my scroll bar?
Why has Windows removed it?
What am I to do?
Haiku # 25535, January 15, 2003 7:46 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
The website is strange
It features no address or
The damn exam dates
Haiku # 25534, January 15, 2003 7:40 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
call me obsessive
but that's good in a doctor
keep taking the pills
Haiku # 25533, January 15, 2003 7:39 am ET
by ash
i spend all my time
recounting my cleverness
again and again
Haiku # 25532, January 15, 2003 7:37 am ET
by ash
How much time is spent
by such talented people
counting seven syl's ?
Haiku # 25531, January 15, 2003 6:25 am ET
by R. of PT
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