Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 351 Days and 77336 Haiku later...

Hail partner, friend, love-
thine words are sweet, but please pick
up thine underwear.
Haiku # 25479, January 13, 2003 1:57 pm ET
by me
What is PEF
I should like to know. It sounds
truly atrocious.
Haiku # 25478, January 13, 2003 1:47 pm ET
by jules
Piloting aircraft
Ever too close to the ground
Feel unsafe when high
Haiku # 25477, January 13, 2003 7:24 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Bob liked the long jump
He was the best in college
Then he lost to Geoff
Haiku # 25476, January 13, 2003 7:21 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Venus is nasty
If I, say, lived on Venus
I would be poisoned
Haiku # 25475, January 13, 2003 6:44 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
heavenly divorce
a ring around uranus
but not your finger
Haiku # 25474, January 13, 2003 5:23 am ET
by ash
I am empowered
by your presence, by your gaze
I can move planets
Haiku # 25473, January 13, 2003 1:14 am ET
by jer
with sheer force of will
I would change planetary
alignments for you
Haiku # 25472, January 13, 2003 1:14 am ET
by jer
To suit your fancy
I rearrange the heavens,
anything for you
Haiku # 25471, January 13, 2003 1:13 am ET
by jer
I would pluck venus
from its eliptical path
'round to us to view
Haiku # 25470, January 13, 2003 1:12 am ET
by jer
I would bathe your face
in the white light of venus,
just to see your smile
Haiku # 25469, January 13, 2003 1:12 am ET
by Jer
And lo... Ted Roberts
Our Lord and saviour was born
To teach PEF
Haiku # 25468, January 12, 2003 6:38 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
But then Lucifer
Brought forth media studies
And he was cast down
Haiku # 25467, January 12, 2003 6:36 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
In the beginning
The Lord made PEF and
Saw that it was good
Haiku # 25466, January 12, 2003 6:35 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
About a proper poem I wrote
I just wrote a poem
And it didn't take the piss
The first time ever
Haiku # 25465, January 12, 2003 5:09 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
That's not a haiku
But PEF is damn hard
And I shall not pass
Haiku # 25464, January 12, 2003 4:57 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
Statistically
Nearly everyone gets 40
And fails PEF
Haiku # 25463, January 12, 2003 4:49 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
When I am no more
I would like people to say
"He passed PEF"
Haiku # 25462, January 12, 2003 4:48 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
Paper clips are used
Every day as holding aids
For normal people
Haiku # 25461, January 12, 2003 3:57 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
I was speaking of
PEF , great thing it is
And not jaffa cakes
Haiku # 25460, January 12, 2003 3:41 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
we still discussing
PEF? or something else?
just a wayward thought
Haiku # 25459, January 12, 2003 3:03 pm ET
by sheena
It is assumptions,
Material balances
Amusing but hard
Haiku # 25458, January 12, 2003 2:19 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
I've written this before:
P is for process
E stands for engineering
F - fundamentals
Haiku # 25457, January 12, 2003 2:17 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
A jaffa cake:
A small cake type thing
With orange jelly on top
Covered in chocolate
Haiku # 25456, January 12, 2003 2:16 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
what's a jaffa cake?
and actually, i've been
curious: what's PEF?
Haiku # 25455, January 12, 2003 2:00 pm ET
by sheena
in horrible class
feeling sick; i should not have
bothered to attend
Haiku # 25454, January 12, 2003 1:58 pm ET
by sheena
Jaffa cakes are nice
And technically under
UK law are cakes
Haiku # 25453, January 12, 2003 10:31 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
And I resisted
The temptation to point out
That it's illegal
Haiku # 25452, January 12, 2003 10:30 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Needless to say the
Person responsible was
Acting to help out
Haiku # 25451, January 12, 2003 10:30 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Paedophilia
I read something two days back
Encouraging it
Haiku # 25450, January 12, 2003 10:29 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Tomorrow begins
Every time that our current
Day passes us by
Haiku # 25449, January 12, 2003 10:25 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Lots of bubble wrap
Received in the post today
I may play with it
Haiku # 25448, January 12, 2003 10:20 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Hast du meinen Hund?
Ja, ich habe deinen Hund
Aber er ist tot
Haiku # 25447, January 12, 2003 9:00 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
I can't find out now
Some sucka has posted a
Lot of rubbish since
Haiku # 25446, January 12, 2003 7:31 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Have I been poked by
A man with a stick before
In an old haiku?
Haiku # 25445, January 12, 2003 7:30 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
Perfunctorily
Excitable echo ends
Foolish flooding fiend
Haiku # 25444, January 12, 2003 6:58 am ET
by A Student of Manchester
massive cheekiness
loser idiot spoiler
unresourceful pest
Haiku # 25443, January 12, 2003 4:32 am ET
by mellie, shocked by a wanton wanker
you call it a flood
we call it incontinence
you total wanker
Haiku # 25442, January 12, 2003 4:26 am ET
by ash
Sure they had no proof -
The fact he owned his own flat
was enough for them
Haiku # 25441, January 12, 2003 2:32 am ET
by R. of PT
They put him in jail -
because they did not like him -
for about 2 years
Haiku # 25440, January 12, 2003 2:27 am ET
by R. of PT
Kudos to Janis
For preserving First Amend.
I cherish the site
Haiku # 25439, January 11, 2003 9:53 pm ET
by maestro
I wasted a term
Logorrhea misapplied
Flooder's a mere ass.
Haiku # 25438, January 11, 2003 9:44 pm ET
by maestro
all those who employ
most vile, technical techniques
spoil the site for all
Haiku # 25437, January 11, 2003 9:37 pm ET
by maestro
Flooder must suffer
logorrhea most severe
I hope it's fatal.
Haiku # 25436, January 11, 2003 9:34 pm ET
by maestro
Sitting, getting fat,
writing stupid-ass haiku
I'd sure like a life...
Haiku # 25435, January 11, 2003 9:30 pm ET
by dh
I went to the zoo
A man poked me with a stick
That man was a fool
Haiku # 25434, January 11, 2003 8:06 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
I have been drinking
And as such what I write sucks
Just like when sober
Haiku # 25433, January 11, 2003 8:04 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
Flood flood flood flood float
Flood flood flood flood flood flood drown
Flood flood flood flood good
Haiku # 25432, January 11, 2003 8:03 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
I should go to sleep
But I must revise for stuff
Like my PEF
Haiku # 25431, January 11, 2003 8:02 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
A vote for George is
A vote for corruption and
A useless arsehole
Haiku # 25430, January 11, 2003 8:01 pm ET
by A Student of Manchester
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