Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 44 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Paris boinked Helen.
Achillis, Patrolicles --
that was no cold war!
Haiku # 2107, September 21, 1999 8:45 pm ET
by Homer of Greece (did ya need to ask?)
Faust, meet Devil...
And have WAAAAY too good a time --
MARGARET!! Amen!
Haiku # 2106, September 21, 1999 8:37 pm ET
by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe of Weimer
Hey, Everybody!
See if you can write epics
in 5-7-5
Haiku # 2105, September 21, 1999 8:34 pm ET
by T.S. Eliot of Shanti, Shanti, Shanti-town, The Waste Land
Home is where I go
at closing time when I''ve pissed
my pants and blown chow.
Haiku # 2104, September 21, 1999 8:29 pm ET
by Nunya Bidness of Tumbleweed,
Home is where I go
at closing time when I''ve pissed
Haiku # 2103, September 21, 1999 8:28 pm ET
by Nunya Bidness of Tumbleweed,
Where, really is home?
Is it where you keep your stuff?
Or where you lie down?
Haiku # 2102, September 21, 1999 6:35 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Here in Toledo,
I''m stranded just for a week.
God.....please make time fly!!!
Haiku # 2101, September 21, 1999 6:31 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Tuesday night at home.
A bottle of Chardonnay
and some golden green.
Haiku # 2100, September 21, 1999 6:26 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Damn those lesbians!
They''re getting too much pussy!
I''m getting jeleous!
Haiku # 2099, September 21, 1999 6:18 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
My fingers are loose.
Gonna punch out my keyboard
with blazing hot thoughts.
Haiku # 2098, September 21, 1999 6:15 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Jan Brady looks great
especially when she wears
her new pink panties!
Haiku # 2097, September 21, 1999 6:02 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Scrunty is my name.
It`s an European name.
It means `frottage`.
Haiku # 2096, September 21, 1999 1:16 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Skin stretched more tightly
Than on a new kettle drum
That''s Faye Dunawaye
Haiku # 2095, September 21, 1999 12:52 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Small silver spaceship
Skips across the atmosphere
Like a tossed pebble
Haiku # 2094, September 21, 1999 12:45 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I wear the darkness
Like trousers with big pockets
I bought from the Gap
Haiku # 2093, September 21, 1999 12:44 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I peeled off my flesh
To see what lay inside
Just red stuff, it seems
Haiku # 2092, September 21, 1999 12:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Rubber appliance
The size off a salami
With none of the meat
Haiku # 2091, September 21, 1999 12:38 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
internet addict
pulling down all that data
with barely a thought
Haiku # 2090, September 21, 1999 6:30 am ET
by ash
I haiku alone
That''s the way it''s always been
And always will be
Haiku # 2089, September 21, 1999 1:26 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Help! I''m in Viking
territory....they are all
Big Balookas here!
Haiku # 2088, September 19, 1999 7:28 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Half empty bottles
Of once-cool Mexican beer
Lie all around me
Haiku # 2087, September 18, 1999 9:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Cold rain is falling
And wetting the old cobbles
Making them slippy
Haiku # 2086, September 18, 1999 9:43 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
the first whiff of spring
inflates pneumatic nubiles
and testosterone
Haiku # 2085, September 18, 1999 5:14 am ET
by ash
cool
Haiku # 2084, September 17, 1999 10:08 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku # 2083, September 16, 1999 11:59 pm ET
by espiritu
I raised ever slow
in paranoid ecstasy
and christened the throne
Haiku # 2082, September 16, 1999 10:25 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
When I was a lad
I lived in the attic of
a convertible
Haiku # 2081, September 16, 1999 10:22 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
I came to this earth
and watched alot of T.V.
Now I''m ready, Mom!
Haiku # 2080, September 16, 1999 10:14 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Condescending Sun
Blacken us as we Frolick
turning plum to prune
Haiku # 2079, September 16, 1999 10:07 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Life is like toe lint
Some dispatch it with no thought
Some Smell and Taste it
Haiku # 2078, September 16, 1999 10:03 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
A daddy long legs
Flies in like a man running
From the Mafia
Haiku # 2077, September 16, 1999 1:17 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Big fat felt tip pen
Makes a mark like fresh tarmac
Across Kentucky
Haiku # 2076, September 16, 1999 1:15 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If people made cheese
From the curdled milk of cats
The world could chill out
Haiku # 2075, September 16, 1999 1:08 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
That Sunny Delight
Looks like the micturations
Of a mutant goat
Haiku # 2074, September 16, 1999 1:06 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
tang oh dear sweet tang
how great it is to drink you
turn my shit orange
Haiku # 2073, September 16, 1999 12:43 pm ET
by Infinity
back on the attack
a motherfucking madman
named Infinity
Haiku # 2072, September 16, 1999 12:38 pm ET
by INFINITY
Hein, gastronomie.
Regardes-toi, j`ai du l`argent.
Un bift
Haiku # 2071, September 16, 1999 8:25 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My attention span.
I`m sure it`s shorter these days...
I mean, it`s like.... uh?
Haiku # 2070, September 16, 1999 8:12 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
make me a sandwich
make it something real special
you''ve got five seconds
Haiku # 2069, September 16, 1999 7:32 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Are werewolves
As furry on the inside
As legend suggest?
Haiku # 2068, September 16, 1999 4:08 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
That damned engaged tone
Prevents me from buying food
Can you hear me, fools?
Haiku # 2067, September 16, 1999 4:07 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Isn''t it funnny
That you don''t see many cars
with
Haiku # 2066, September 16, 1999 3:59 am ET
by ha ha
This mozzarella
Tastes like old rubber johnnies
Er, apparently
Haiku # 2065, September 16, 1999 3:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
It might not be wise
To eat four avocados
But it sure is fun
Haiku # 2064, September 16, 1999 3:57 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This fleecey sweater
Has sleeves that can be zipped off
For reasons unknown
Haiku # 2063, September 16, 1999 3:36 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hurricane come on!
We could dance in the sunset
Make love on the beach...
Haiku # 2062, September 15, 1999 8:55 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Oh, these savage nights!
If I lived a thousand more
I''d need more livers
Haiku # 2061, September 15, 1999 8:48 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Oh, these savage nights!
If I lived a thousand more
I''d need more livers
Haiku # 2060, September 15, 1999 8:47 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
I tickled her tit
With a great big long feather
She thanked me for it
Haiku # 2059, September 15, 1999 8:44 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Get loose and crazy
Let desire bloom like cancer
bold melanoma
Haiku # 2058, September 15, 1999 8:42 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
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