Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 44 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

That damned engaged tone
Prevents me from buying food
Can you hear me, fools?
Haiku # 2067, September 16, 1999 4:07 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Isn''t it funnny
That you don''t see many cars
with
Haiku # 2066, September 16, 1999 3:59 am ET
by ha ha
This mozzarella
Tastes like old rubber johnnies
Er, apparently
Haiku # 2065, September 16, 1999 3:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
It might not be wise
To eat four avocados
But it sure is fun
Haiku # 2064, September 16, 1999 3:57 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This fleecey sweater
Has sleeves that can be zipped off
For reasons unknown
Haiku # 2063, September 16, 1999 3:36 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hurricane come on!
We could dance in the sunset
Make love on the beach...
Haiku # 2062, September 15, 1999 8:55 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Oh, these savage nights!
If I lived a thousand more
I''d need more livers
Haiku # 2061, September 15, 1999 8:48 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Oh, these savage nights!
If I lived a thousand more
I''d need more livers
Haiku # 2060, September 15, 1999 8:47 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
I tickled her tit
With a great big long feather
She thanked me for it
Haiku # 2059, September 15, 1999 8:44 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Get loose and crazy
Let desire bloom like cancer
bold melanoma
Haiku # 2058, September 15, 1999 8:42 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
I wonder if Jane
ever tasted any of
Johnny''s Appleseed
Haiku # 2057, September 15, 1999 4:22 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
...Forgive me my friends
I forget myself at times
I go fall down now...
Haiku # 2056, September 15, 1999 12:36 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity!
My sweet lesbians
Thou art my dream revealed
What more could I say?
Haiku # 2055, September 15, 1999 12:34 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity! of What gives?, the enter key?
My sweet lesbians
Thou art my dream revealed
What more could I say?
Haiku # 2054, September 15, 1999 12:33 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity! of What gives?, the enter key?
Gus Van Zant gave me
Unreciprocated love
For homo cowgirls!
Haiku # 2053, September 15, 1999 12:28 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity! of What gives?, the enter key?
Now it seems to me
You must know th score by now
So why not get down?
Haiku # 2052, September 15, 1999 12:24 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity! of What gives?, the enter key?
Haiku # 2051, September 15, 1999 12:21 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity!
Haiku # 2050, September 15, 1999 12:20 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity!
Haiku # 2049, September 15, 1999 12:20 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity!
a pen and paper
matches and recognition
you could burn a lot
Haiku # 2048, September 15, 1999 5:51 am ET
by ash
What are you saying?
I have all these ideas
Can''t them inside
Haiku # 2047, September 15, 1999 3:29 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
It is difficult
for those under five feet tall
to buy cowboy clothes
Haiku # 2046, September 14, 1999 11:23 am ET
by Scott Sobotka of Chandler,
The hardest bargain
involves getting Bob Barker
naked for five bucks
Haiku # 2045, September 14, 1999 11:22 am ET
by Scott Sobotka of Chandler,
It''s Harrison Ford
in the motherfuckin'' house
drinking gin and juice
Haiku # 2044, September 14, 1999 11:20 am ET
by Hesby
Bad conversation,
terrible puns and rain.
... But how was *your* day?
Haiku # 2043, September 14, 1999 9:18 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My cousin tells me:
hurricane in florida.
Damned Mexican moths.
Haiku # 2042, September 14, 1999 9:15 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My exhausted brain.
It bangs about in my head
like bee in bonnet
Haiku # 2041, September 14, 1999 9:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
endless extensions
make for cyber wallpaper
och, do you nae ken?
Haiku # 2040, September 14, 1999 7:02 am ET
by ash
breathe in some k.e.
volume alone i must say
is not eloquence
Haiku # 2039, September 14, 1999 4:38 am ET
by ash
Am I all alone
In this crazy haiku world
Or do I just smell?
Haiku # 2038, September 13, 1999 1:00 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Some cyclopean
Masonry fell on my toe
And hurt it a bit
Haiku # 2037, September 13, 1999 12:57 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Existential angst
Floats like a hungry seagull
On my psychic sea
Haiku # 2036, September 13, 1999 12:55 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The tourists loiter
On the pavement and gawp like
Abandoned chickens
Haiku # 2035, September 13, 1999 12:53 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When I was a child
I taught myself how to speak
Using just some sticks
Haiku # 2034, September 13, 1999 12:51 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A leafy sapling
Stretches skywards like a man
Trying to reach god
Haiku # 2033, September 13, 1999 12:50 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This nuclear pen
Will even write upside-down
and underwater
Haiku # 2032, September 13, 1999 12:48 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The broth of spawning
Belches great spumes of ichor
In my spare bedroom
Haiku # 2031, September 13, 1999 12:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My phone is hands-free
So now I can use both hands
When I''m on the phone
Haiku # 2030, September 13, 1999 12:41 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This night is blacker
Than the bottom of a cave
On the ocean floor
Haiku # 2029, September 13, 1999 12:39 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I like to inhale
The scent of summer flowers
I''m not gay, you know
Haiku # 2028, September 13, 1999 9:41 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Is there anything
As enchanting as wearing
New socks every day?
Haiku # 2027, September 13, 1999 9:39 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Is there a reason
that cold baked beans taste so great
when eaten in pants?
Haiku # 2026, September 13, 1999 9:37 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Gazing at his wife,
the blind man with restored sight:
"God, is that your *nose*..?"
Haiku # 2025, September 13, 1999 8:50 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
this big paper block
never seems to diminish
it''s so very queer
Haiku # 2024, September 13, 1999 8:19 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The spent silver packs
Of furtive prophylactics
Are scattered around
Haiku # 2023, September 13, 1999 8:13 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When the time is right
I shall sell bags of cold phlegm
On the Stock Market
Haiku # 2022, September 13, 1999 8:08 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Would turquoise tendrils
Emerging from my pocket
Really make you flee?
Haiku # 2021, September 13, 1999 8:07 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I''m beating my head
On the surface of my desk
To make it flatter
Haiku # 2020, September 13, 1999 8:04 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
sometime earlier
in a simpler world than this
i was still confused
Haiku # 2019, September 12, 1999 5:33 am ET
by ash
Oh you foolish folk
I am not really Mexican
Despite sombrero
Haiku # 2018, September 11, 1999 10:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
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