Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

My exhausted brain.
It bangs about in my head
like bee in bonnet
Haiku # 2041, September 14, 1999 9:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
endless extensions
make for cyber wallpaper
och, do you nae ken?
Haiku # 2040, September 14, 1999 7:02 am ET
by ash
breathe in some k.e.
volume alone i must say
is not eloquence
Haiku # 2039, September 14, 1999 4:38 am ET
by ash
Am I all alone
In this crazy haiku world
Or do I just smell?
Haiku # 2038, September 13, 1999 1:00 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Some cyclopean
Masonry fell on my toe
And hurt it a bit
Haiku # 2037, September 13, 1999 12:57 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Existential angst
Floats like a hungry seagull
On my psychic sea
Haiku # 2036, September 13, 1999 12:55 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The tourists loiter
On the pavement and gawp like
Abandoned chickens
Haiku # 2035, September 13, 1999 12:53 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When I was a child
I taught myself how to speak
Using just some sticks
Haiku # 2034, September 13, 1999 12:51 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A leafy sapling
Stretches skywards like a man
Trying to reach god
Haiku # 2033, September 13, 1999 12:50 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This nuclear pen
Will even write upside-down
and underwater
Haiku # 2032, September 13, 1999 12:48 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The broth of spawning
Belches great spumes of ichor
In my spare bedroom
Haiku # 2031, September 13, 1999 12:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My phone is hands-free
So now I can use both hands
When I''m on the phone
Haiku # 2030, September 13, 1999 12:41 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This night is blacker
Than the bottom of a cave
On the ocean floor
Haiku # 2029, September 13, 1999 12:39 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I like to inhale
The scent of summer flowers
I''m not gay, you know
Haiku # 2028, September 13, 1999 9:41 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Is there anything
As enchanting as wearing
New socks every day?
Haiku # 2027, September 13, 1999 9:39 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Is there a reason
that cold baked beans taste so great
when eaten in pants?
Haiku # 2026, September 13, 1999 9:37 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Gazing at his wife,
the blind man with restored sight:
"God, is that your *nose*..?"
Haiku # 2025, September 13, 1999 8:50 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
this big paper block
never seems to diminish
it''s so very queer
Haiku # 2024, September 13, 1999 8:19 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The spent silver packs
Of furtive prophylactics
Are scattered around
Haiku # 2023, September 13, 1999 8:13 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When the time is right
I shall sell bags of cold phlegm
On the Stock Market
Haiku # 2022, September 13, 1999 8:08 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Would turquoise tendrils
Emerging from my pocket
Really make you flee?
Haiku # 2021, September 13, 1999 8:07 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I''m beating my head
On the surface of my desk
To make it flatter
Haiku # 2020, September 13, 1999 8:04 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
sometime earlier
in a simpler world than this
i was still confused
Haiku # 2019, September 12, 1999 5:33 am ET
by ash
Oh you foolish folk
I am not really Mexican
Despite sombrero
Haiku # 2018, September 11, 1999 10:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I filled my wellies
With the spawn of frogs and toads
Then tried them for size
Haiku # 2017, September 11, 1999 8:27 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I wonder whether
Spiderman''s ejaculate
Could be spun, like silk?
Haiku # 2016, September 11, 1999 8:25 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Whoa, it just went down!
Did you see that green flush spark?
I''ve seen it just once.
Haiku # 2015, September 10, 1999 5:25 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
And ya know what Ern?
I have to say that I''m good.
How the fuck are you!
Haiku # 2014, September 10, 1999 5:19 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
I leaned back and watched
While the sun set to the West
And I blew smoke rings........
Haiku # 2013, September 10, 1999 5:13 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
jfhgffhgfhhgfhhh
Haiku # 2012, September 10, 1999 3:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Enough about me
My talentless poet friends,
How the fuck are ya?
Haiku # 2011, September 10, 1999 3:05 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Making like a mess
of the formats of haiku
Come back my dear sense
Haiku # 2010, September 10, 1999 3:00 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Raking like a knave
On the forecep of your fiends
Like a bat says why?
Haiku # 2009, September 10, 1999 2:57 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Raking like a knave
On the forecep of your fiends
Like a bat
Haiku # 2008, September 10, 1999 2:56 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Breaking like a wave
On the doorstep of your dreams
I''m back to say hi
Haiku # 2007, September 10, 1999 2:52 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
The dry bone moistens
juices seep into the mind
''tis a great feeling!!!
Haiku # 2006, September 9, 1999 7:14 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
I made a new word
Sometimes I call it "Fabbig"
But not every time
Haiku # 2005, September 9, 1999 1:08 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The electric flute
Has yet to be invented
Technology sucks
Haiku # 2004, September 9, 1999 1:06 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My hydraulic elf
Has pistons the size of trees
Which is so pointless
Haiku # 2003, September 9, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I have one hundred
Felt-tip pens, in a wallet
I chewed all their ends
Haiku # 2002, September 9, 1999 1:04 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hey, Boutrous Boutrous
What''s with that Boutrous baby?
Are you like, twins?
Haiku # 2001, September 9, 1999 1:03 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I took a Biro
and doodled on my forearm
the sign of the cow
Haiku # 2000, September 9, 1999 5:06 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My Prang Fun Crayons
Are made from processed soy beans
They taste of crayon
Haiku # 1999, September 9, 1999 5:00 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The first golden leaves
Fall in homage to winter
Hand me the blower
Haiku # 1998, September 9, 1999 4:59 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I drank some Snapple
Then foolishly, I drank more
I stretched my bowel
Haiku # 1997, September 9, 1999 4:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
So few seasons turn
Endlessly throughout the years
Which one is Bummer?
Haiku # 1996, September 9, 1999 4:57 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This page of haiku
Is not only bad but long
It may soon explode
Haiku # 1995, September 9, 1999 4:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Tell me to shut up
I need to get beauty sleep
Lord knows I need it
Haiku # 1994, September 8, 1999 9:25 pm ET
by Sarin
And to quote Shakespeare
Is just another cheap way
Wasting three minutes
Haiku # 1993, September 8, 1999 9:23 pm ET
by Sarin
And now three mintues
To write my own bad haiku
All the World''s a stage
Haiku # 1992, September 8, 1999 9:21 pm ET
by Sarin
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