My Prang Fun Crayons
Are made from processed soy beans
They taste of crayon

The first golden leaves
Fall in homage to winter
Hand me the blower

I drank some Snapple
Then foolishly, I drank more
I stretched my bowel

So few seasons turn
Endlessly throughout the years
Which one is Bummer?

This page of haiku
Is not only bad but long
It may soon explode

Tell me to shut up
I need to get beauty sleep
Lord knows I need it

And to quote Shakespeare
Is just another cheap way
Wasting three minutes

And now three mintues
To write my own bad haiku
All the World''s a stage

I wasted too long
Reading too much bad haiku
Fifteen minutes gone

an alien clock
which detracts from the impact
regarding the date

nine nine ninety-nine
it is i who malfunction
whilst i waste the day

Time for me to go
Phone bill mounting rapidly
Bye-bye everyone

That last one was mine
Forgot to put my name in
Silly silly boy

I''m worried about
My addiction to wrestling
Long-haired men in tights

Again, apologies
But if I don''t sell t-shirts
Can''t afford to eat

Sorry about this -
This here is a shameless plug
Come visit my site:

http://www.drugSkilldesigns.freeserve.co.uk

Whoever''s in charge:
Thanks for helping me waste time
This site is the best
Although I must say
Apostrophes need fixing.
Apart from that: cool

A smoking monkey:
Now THAT''S a good idea
(Birthday present hint!)

I have a problem
Can''t remember what it''s called
Um... amnesia?

***what a mighty cock!
exclaimed the princess of slop
slipping and slapping***

Hello, FBI?
I''d like to see my file, please.
What? You don''t have one?

Okay, just one more
Then go do something useful
Ready? Here we go

Wasting all my time
Trying hard to be clever
When nobody cares

Ricky Martin''s dead
I shot him thirty-two times
Justified, I''d say

This must be a first -
An ode to the enema:
"Lots of frothy fun"

This is the first line
It was five syllables long
And hardly inspired

Sometimes I wonder:
The ''Man from DelMont

When I am mayor
Men with high-powered stun guns
Will shock litter bugs

Hey, man with a sign
Where do you think it''s pointing?
To the tattoo place?

Aerosol hair mousse
Is strangely similar to
Aerosol whipped cream

Oh, I never knew
My back could ripple and flow.
Shiatsu massage.

My wee dog nibbled
On a harmless toadstool.
Will she shrink or grow?

Beauty products
Sometimes smell like Dream Topping
But taste of plastic

On long summer days
Men remove their shirts and walk
Topless on the streets

I lifted the veil
That masks the subconscious mind
And kissed its full lips

The sun shines, tar melts
With lolly sticks, we create
Our names on the wall

Hail the size of Mars
Pounds the surface of the Earth
Ming is merciless

someone once told me
"I am a superhero"
I promptly killed them :)

Raisin Head Prophet
Predicting Armageddon,
Get you A Snickers?

Dead eyes fill my heart
Til it weighs me like potatoes
On my burdened couch

Being remembered
Does not make you a legend
It makes you un-you.

Metal Faced Woman
Being So Brave and Unique
Makes You More Alone

That Gwyneth Paltrow
She`s really kinda scrawny
Fake English chicken

the left one is blue
for my balls doth ache from lunch, fucking dog shit stew

My appologies
To those that are offended
Poor formatting sucks.

Small names make for more Enjoyable, easier
To read haiku, Yes?

I think that it''s fixed
But I''m testing it again
Just to be certain

I''m very confused
With the formatting issues
I''ll fix it all soon

Haiku in Yiddish
Means Lift Your Skirt In Public
Catch on America

Idle Time Hero
My Creative Energy
Just Jizzed the Fishtank