Whoa, it just went down!
Did you see that green flush spark?
I''ve seen it just once.

And ya know what Ern?
I have to say that I''m good.
How the fuck are you!

I leaned back and watched
While the sun set to the West
And I blew smoke rings........

jfhgffhgfhhgfhhh

Enough about me
My talentless poet friends,
How the fuck are ya?

Making like a mess
of the formats of haiku
Come back my dear sense

Raking like a knave
On the forecep of your fiends
Like a bat says why?

Raking like a knave
On the forecep of your fiends
Like a bat

Breaking like a wave
On the doorstep of your dreams
I''m back to say hi

The dry bone moistens
juices seep into the mind
''tis a great feeling!!!

I made a new word
Sometimes I call it "Fabbig"
But not every time

The electric flute
Has yet to be invented
Technology sucks

My hydraulic elf
Has pistons the size of trees
Which is so pointless

I have one hundred
Felt-tip pens, in a wallet
I chewed all their ends

Hey, Boutrous Boutrous
What''s with that Boutrous baby?
Are you like, twins?

I took a Biro
and doodled on my forearm
the sign of the cow

My Prang Fun Crayons
Are made from processed soy beans
They taste of crayon

The first golden leaves
Fall in homage to winter
Hand me the blower

I drank some Snapple
Then foolishly, I drank more
I stretched my bowel

So few seasons turn
Endlessly throughout the years
Which one is Bummer?

This page of haiku
Is not only bad but long
It may soon explode

Tell me to shut up
I need to get beauty sleep
Lord knows I need it

And to quote Shakespeare
Is just another cheap way
Wasting three minutes

And now three mintues
To write my own bad haiku
All the World''s a stage

I wasted too long
Reading too much bad haiku
Fifteen minutes gone

an alien clock
which detracts from the impact
regarding the date

nine nine ninety-nine
it is i who malfunction
whilst i waste the day

Time for me to go
Phone bill mounting rapidly
Bye-bye everyone

That last one was mine
Forgot to put my name in
Silly silly boy

I''m worried about
My addiction to wrestling
Long-haired men in tights

Again, apologies
But if I don''t sell t-shirts
Can''t afford to eat

Sorry about this -
This here is a shameless plug
Come visit my site:

http://www.drugSkilldesigns.freeserve.co.uk

Whoever''s in charge:
Thanks for helping me waste time
This site is the best
Although I must say
Apostrophes need fixing.
Apart from that: cool

A smoking monkey:
Now THAT''S a good idea
(Birthday present hint!)

I have a problem
Can''t remember what it''s called
Um... amnesia?

***what a mighty cock!
exclaimed the princess of slop
slipping and slapping***

Hello, FBI?
I''d like to see my file, please.
What? You don''t have one?

Okay, just one more
Then go do something useful
Ready? Here we go

Wasting all my time
Trying hard to be clever
When nobody cares

Ricky Martin''s dead
I shot him thirty-two times
Justified, I''d say

This must be a first -
An ode to the enema:
"Lots of frothy fun"

This is the first line
It was five syllables long
And hardly inspired

Sometimes I wonder:
The ''Man from DelMont

When I am mayor
Men with high-powered stun guns
Will shock litter bugs

Hey, man with a sign
Where do you think it''s pointing?
To the tattoo place?

Aerosol hair mousse
Is strangely similar to
Aerosol whipped cream

Oh, I never knew
My back could ripple and flow.
Shiatsu massage.

My wee dog nibbled
On a harmless toadstool.
Will she shrink or grow?

Beauty products
Sometimes smell like Dream Topping
But taste of plastic

On long summer days
Men remove their shirts and walk
Topless on the streets