Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Whoa, it just went down!
Did you see that green flush spark?
I''ve seen it just once.
Haiku # 2015, September 10, 1999 5:25 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
And ya know what Ern?
I have to say that I''m good.
How the fuck are you!
Haiku # 2014, September 10, 1999 5:19 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
I leaned back and watched
While the sun set to the West
And I blew smoke rings........
Haiku # 2013, September 10, 1999 5:13 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
jfhgffhgfhhgfhhh
Haiku # 2012, September 10, 1999 3:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Enough about me
My talentless poet friends,
How the fuck are ya?
Haiku # 2011, September 10, 1999 3:05 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Making like a mess
of the formats of haiku
Come back my dear sense
Haiku # 2010, September 10, 1999 3:00 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Raking like a knave
On the forecep of your fiends
Like a bat says why?
Haiku # 2009, September 10, 1999 2:57 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Raking like a knave
On the forecep of your fiends
Like a bat
Haiku # 2008, September 10, 1999 2:56 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Breaking like a wave
On the doorstep of your dreams
I''m back to say hi
Haiku # 2007, September 10, 1999 2:52 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
The dry bone moistens
juices seep into the mind
''tis a great feeling!!!
Haiku # 2006, September 9, 1999 7:14 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
I made a new word
Sometimes I call it "Fabbig"
But not every time
Haiku # 2005, September 9, 1999 1:08 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The electric flute
Has yet to be invented
Technology sucks
Haiku # 2004, September 9, 1999 1:06 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My hydraulic elf
Has pistons the size of trees
Which is so pointless
Haiku # 2003, September 9, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I have one hundred
Felt-tip pens, in a wallet
I chewed all their ends
Haiku # 2002, September 9, 1999 1:04 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hey, Boutrous Boutrous
What''s with that Boutrous baby?
Are you like, twins?
Haiku # 2001, September 9, 1999 1:03 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I took a Biro
and doodled on my forearm
the sign of the cow
Haiku # 2000, September 9, 1999 5:06 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My Prang Fun Crayons
Are made from processed soy beans
They taste of crayon
Haiku # 1999, September 9, 1999 5:00 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The first golden leaves
Fall in homage to winter
Hand me the blower
Haiku # 1998, September 9, 1999 4:59 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I drank some Snapple
Then foolishly, I drank more
I stretched my bowel
Haiku # 1997, September 9, 1999 4:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
So few seasons turn
Endlessly throughout the years
Which one is Bummer?
Haiku # 1996, September 9, 1999 4:57 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This page of haiku
Is not only bad but long
It may soon explode
Haiku # 1995, September 9, 1999 4:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Tell me to shut up
I need to get beauty sleep
Lord knows I need it
Haiku # 1994, September 8, 1999 9:25 pm ET
by Sarin
And to quote Shakespeare
Is just another cheap way
Wasting three minutes
Haiku # 1993, September 8, 1999 9:23 pm ET
by Sarin
And now three mintues
To write my own bad haiku
All the World''s a stage
Haiku # 1992, September 8, 1999 9:21 pm ET
by Sarin
I wasted too long
Reading too much bad haiku
Fifteen minutes gone
Haiku # 1991, September 8, 1999 9:18 pm ET
by Sarin
an alien clock
which detracts from the impact
regarding the date
Haiku # 1990, September 8, 1999 7:45 pm ET
by ash
nine nine ninety-nine
it is i who malfunction
whilst i waste the day
Haiku # 1989, September 8, 1999 7:42 pm ET
by ash
Time for me to go
Phone bill mounting rapidly
Bye-bye everyone
Haiku # 1988, September 8, 1999 8:45 am ET
by Like Herod
That last one was mine
Forgot to put my name in
Silly silly boy
Haiku # 1987, September 8, 1999 8:36 am ET
by Like Herod
I''m worried about
My addiction to wrestling
Long-haired men in tights
Haiku # 1986, September 8, 1999 8:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Again, apologies
But if I don''t sell t-shirts
Can''t afford to eat
Haiku # 1985, September 8, 1999 8:32 am ET
by Like Herod
Sorry about this -
This here is a shameless plug
Come visit my site:

http://www.drugSkilldesigns.freeserve.co.uk
Haiku # 1984, September 8, 1999 8:28 am ET
by Like Herod
Whoever''s in charge:
Thanks for helping me waste time
This site is the best
Although I must say
Apostrophes need fixing.
Apart from that: cool
Haiku # 1983, September 8, 1999 8:25 am ET
by Like Herod
A smoking monkey:
Now THAT''S a good idea
(Birthday present hint!)
Haiku # 1982, September 8, 1999 8:20 am ET
by Like Herod
I have a problem
Can''t remember what it''s called
Um... amnesia?
Haiku # 1981, September 8, 1999 8:14 am ET
by Like Herod
***what a mighty cock!
exclaimed the princess of slop
slipping and slapping***
Haiku # 1980, September 7, 1999 3:52 pm ET
by Aunt
Hello, FBI?
I''d like to see my file, please.
What? You don''t have one?
Haiku # 1979, September 7, 1999 8:57 am ET
by Like Herod
Okay, just one more
Then go do something useful
Ready? Here we go
Haiku # 1978, September 7, 1999 8:49 am ET
by Like Herod
Wasting all my time
Trying hard to be clever
When nobody cares
Haiku # 1977, September 7, 1999 8:47 am ET
by Like Herod
Ricky Martin''s dead
I shot him thirty-two times
Justified, I''d say
Haiku # 1976, September 7, 1999 8:45 am ET
by Like Herod
This must be a first -
An ode to the enema:
"Lots of frothy fun"
Haiku # 1975, September 7, 1999 8:40 am ET
by Like Herod
This is the first line
It was five syllables long
And hardly inspired
Haiku # 1974, September 7, 1999 8:35 am ET
by Like Herod
Sometimes I wonder:
The ''Man from DelMont
Haiku # 1973, September 7, 1999 7:41 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
When I am mayor
Men with high-powered stun guns
Will shock litter bugs
Haiku # 1972, September 7, 1999 4:59 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hey, man with a sign
Where do you think it''s pointing?
To the tattoo place?
Haiku # 1971, September 7, 1999 4:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Aerosol hair mousse
Is strangely similar to
Aerosol whipped cream
Haiku # 1970, September 7, 1999 4:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh, I never knew
My back could ripple and flow.
Shiatsu massage.
Haiku # 1969, September 7, 1999 4:07 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My wee dog nibbled
On a harmless toadstool.
Will she shrink or grow?
Haiku # 1968, September 7, 1999 4:03 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Beauty products
Sometimes smell like Dream Topping
But taste of plastic
Haiku # 1967, September 7, 1999 4:00 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
On long summer days
Men remove their shirts and walk
Topless on the streets
Haiku # 1966, September 6, 1999 5:41 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
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