Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Raking like a knave
On the forecep of your fiends
Like a bat says why?
Haiku # 2009, September 10, 1999 2:57 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Raking like a knave
On the forecep of your fiends
Like a bat
Haiku # 2008, September 10, 1999 2:56 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Breaking like a wave
On the doorstep of your dreams
I''m back to say hi
Haiku # 2007, September 10, 1999 2:52 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
The dry bone moistens
juices seep into the mind
''tis a great feeling!!!
Haiku # 2006, September 9, 1999 7:14 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
I made a new word
Sometimes I call it "Fabbig"
But not every time
Haiku # 2005, September 9, 1999 1:08 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The electric flute
Has yet to be invented
Technology sucks
Haiku # 2004, September 9, 1999 1:06 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My hydraulic elf
Has pistons the size of trees
Which is so pointless
Haiku # 2003, September 9, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I have one hundred
Felt-tip pens, in a wallet
I chewed all their ends
Haiku # 2002, September 9, 1999 1:04 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hey, Boutrous Boutrous
What''s with that Boutrous baby?
Are you like, twins?
Haiku # 2001, September 9, 1999 1:03 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I took a Biro
and doodled on my forearm
the sign of the cow
Haiku # 2000, September 9, 1999 5:06 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My Prang Fun Crayons
Are made from processed soy beans
They taste of crayon
Haiku # 1999, September 9, 1999 5:00 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The first golden leaves
Fall in homage to winter
Hand me the blower
Haiku # 1998, September 9, 1999 4:59 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I drank some Snapple
Then foolishly, I drank more
I stretched my bowel
Haiku # 1997, September 9, 1999 4:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
So few seasons turn
Endlessly throughout the years
Which one is Bummer?
Haiku # 1996, September 9, 1999 4:57 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This page of haiku
Is not only bad but long
It may soon explode
Haiku # 1995, September 9, 1999 4:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Tell me to shut up
I need to get beauty sleep
Lord knows I need it
Haiku # 1994, September 8, 1999 9:25 pm ET
by Sarin
And to quote Shakespeare
Is just another cheap way
Wasting three minutes
Haiku # 1993, September 8, 1999 9:23 pm ET
by Sarin
And now three mintues
To write my own bad haiku
All the World''s a stage
Haiku # 1992, September 8, 1999 9:21 pm ET
by Sarin
I wasted too long
Reading too much bad haiku
Fifteen minutes gone
Haiku # 1991, September 8, 1999 9:18 pm ET
by Sarin
an alien clock
which detracts from the impact
regarding the date
Haiku # 1990, September 8, 1999 7:45 pm ET
by ash
nine nine ninety-nine
it is i who malfunction
whilst i waste the day
Haiku # 1989, September 8, 1999 7:42 pm ET
by ash
Time for me to go
Phone bill mounting rapidly
Bye-bye everyone
Haiku # 1988, September 8, 1999 8:45 am ET
by Like Herod
That last one was mine
Forgot to put my name in
Silly silly boy
Haiku # 1987, September 8, 1999 8:36 am ET
by Like Herod
I''m worried about
My addiction to wrestling
Long-haired men in tights
Haiku # 1986, September 8, 1999 8:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Again, apologies
But if I don''t sell t-shirts
Can''t afford to eat
Haiku # 1985, September 8, 1999 8:32 am ET
by Like Herod
Sorry about this -
This here is a shameless plug
Come visit my site:

http://www.drugSkilldesigns.freeserve.co.uk
Haiku # 1984, September 8, 1999 8:28 am ET
by Like Herod
Whoever''s in charge:
Thanks for helping me waste time
This site is the best
Although I must say
Apostrophes need fixing.
Apart from that: cool
Haiku # 1983, September 8, 1999 8:25 am ET
by Like Herod
A smoking monkey:
Now THAT''S a good idea
(Birthday present hint!)
Haiku # 1982, September 8, 1999 8:20 am ET
by Like Herod
I have a problem
Can''t remember what it''s called
Um... amnesia?
Haiku # 1981, September 8, 1999 8:14 am ET
by Like Herod
***what a mighty cock!
exclaimed the princess of slop
slipping and slapping***
Haiku # 1980, September 7, 1999 3:52 pm ET
by Aunt
Hello, FBI?
I''d like to see my file, please.
What? You don''t have one?
Haiku # 1979, September 7, 1999 8:57 am ET
by Like Herod
Okay, just one more
Then go do something useful
Ready? Here we go
Haiku # 1978, September 7, 1999 8:49 am ET
by Like Herod
Wasting all my time
Trying hard to be clever
When nobody cares
Haiku # 1977, September 7, 1999 8:47 am ET
by Like Herod
Ricky Martin''s dead
I shot him thirty-two times
Justified, I''d say
Haiku # 1976, September 7, 1999 8:45 am ET
by Like Herod
This must be a first -
An ode to the enema:
"Lots of frothy fun"
Haiku # 1975, September 7, 1999 8:40 am ET
by Like Herod
This is the first line
It was five syllables long
And hardly inspired
Haiku # 1974, September 7, 1999 8:35 am ET
by Like Herod
Sometimes I wonder:
The ''Man from DelMont
Haiku # 1973, September 7, 1999 7:41 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
When I am mayor
Men with high-powered stun guns
Will shock litter bugs
Haiku # 1972, September 7, 1999 4:59 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hey, man with a sign
Where do you think it''s pointing?
To the tattoo place?
Haiku # 1971, September 7, 1999 4:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Aerosol hair mousse
Is strangely similar to
Aerosol whipped cream
Haiku # 1970, September 7, 1999 4:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh, I never knew
My back could ripple and flow.
Shiatsu massage.
Haiku # 1969, September 7, 1999 4:07 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My wee dog nibbled
On a harmless toadstool.
Will she shrink or grow?
Haiku # 1968, September 7, 1999 4:03 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Beauty products
Sometimes smell like Dream Topping
But taste of plastic
Haiku # 1967, September 7, 1999 4:00 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
On long summer days
Men remove their shirts and walk
Topless on the streets
Haiku # 1966, September 6, 1999 5:41 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I lifted the veil
That masks the subconscious mind
And kissed its full lips
Haiku # 1965, September 6, 1999 5:39 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The sun shines, tar melts
With lolly sticks, we create
Our names on the wall
Haiku # 1964, September 6, 1999 5:36 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hail the size of Mars
Pounds the surface of the Earth
Ming is merciless
Haiku # 1963, September 6, 1999 5:35 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
someone once told me
"I am a superhero"
I promptly killed them :)
Haiku # 1962, September 5, 1999 2:44 pm ET
by Infinity
Raisin Head Prophet
Predicting Armageddon,
Get you A Snickers?
Haiku # 1961, September 4, 1999 9:58 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Dead eyes fill my heart
Til it weighs me like potatoes
On my burdened couch
Haiku # 1960, September 4, 1999 9:52 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
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