Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

The broth of spawning
Belches great spumes of ichor
In my spare bedroom
Haiku # 2031, September 13, 1999 12:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My phone is hands-free
So now I can use both hands
When I''m on the phone
Haiku # 2030, September 13, 1999 12:41 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This night is blacker
Than the bottom of a cave
On the ocean floor
Haiku # 2029, September 13, 1999 12:39 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I like to inhale
The scent of summer flowers
I''m not gay, you know
Haiku # 2028, September 13, 1999 9:41 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Is there anything
As enchanting as wearing
New socks every day?
Haiku # 2027, September 13, 1999 9:39 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Is there a reason
that cold baked beans taste so great
when eaten in pants?
Haiku # 2026, September 13, 1999 9:37 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Gazing at his wife,
the blind man with restored sight:
"God, is that your *nose*..?"
Haiku # 2025, September 13, 1999 8:50 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
this big paper block
never seems to diminish
it''s so very queer
Haiku # 2024, September 13, 1999 8:19 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The spent silver packs
Of furtive prophylactics
Are scattered around
Haiku # 2023, September 13, 1999 8:13 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When the time is right
I shall sell bags of cold phlegm
On the Stock Market
Haiku # 2022, September 13, 1999 8:08 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Would turquoise tendrils
Emerging from my pocket
Really make you flee?
Haiku # 2021, September 13, 1999 8:07 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I''m beating my head
On the surface of my desk
To make it flatter
Haiku # 2020, September 13, 1999 8:04 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
sometime earlier
in a simpler world than this
i was still confused
Haiku # 2019, September 12, 1999 5:33 am ET
by ash
Oh you foolish folk
I am not really Mexican
Despite sombrero
Haiku # 2018, September 11, 1999 10:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I filled my wellies
With the spawn of frogs and toads
Then tried them for size
Haiku # 2017, September 11, 1999 8:27 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I wonder whether
Spiderman''s ejaculate
Could be spun, like silk?
Haiku # 2016, September 11, 1999 8:25 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Whoa, it just went down!
Did you see that green flush spark?
I''ve seen it just once.
Haiku # 2015, September 10, 1999 5:25 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
And ya know what Ern?
I have to say that I''m good.
How the fuck are you!
Haiku # 2014, September 10, 1999 5:19 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
I leaned back and watched
While the sun set to the West
And I blew smoke rings........
Haiku # 2013, September 10, 1999 5:13 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
jfhgffhgfhhgfhhh
Haiku # 2012, September 10, 1999 3:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Enough about me
My talentless poet friends,
How the fuck are ya?
Haiku # 2011, September 10, 1999 3:05 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Making like a mess
of the formats of haiku
Come back my dear sense
Haiku # 2010, September 10, 1999 3:00 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Raking like a knave
On the forecep of your fiends
Like a bat says why?
Haiku # 2009, September 10, 1999 2:57 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Raking like a knave
On the forecep of your fiends
Like a bat
Haiku # 2008, September 10, 1999 2:56 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
Breaking like a wave
On the doorstep of your dreams
I''m back to say hi
Haiku # 2007, September 10, 1999 2:52 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of 11
The dry bone moistens
juices seep into the mind
''tis a great feeling!!!
Haiku # 2006, September 9, 1999 7:14 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
I made a new word
Sometimes I call it "Fabbig"
But not every time
Haiku # 2005, September 9, 1999 1:08 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The electric flute
Has yet to be invented
Technology sucks
Haiku # 2004, September 9, 1999 1:06 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My hydraulic elf
Has pistons the size of trees
Which is so pointless
Haiku # 2003, September 9, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I have one hundred
Felt-tip pens, in a wallet
I chewed all their ends
Haiku # 2002, September 9, 1999 1:04 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hey, Boutrous Boutrous
What''s with that Boutrous baby?
Are you like, twins?
Haiku # 2001, September 9, 1999 1:03 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I took a Biro
and doodled on my forearm
the sign of the cow
Haiku # 2000, September 9, 1999 5:06 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My Prang Fun Crayons
Are made from processed soy beans
They taste of crayon
Haiku # 1999, September 9, 1999 5:00 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The first golden leaves
Fall in homage to winter
Hand me the blower
Haiku # 1998, September 9, 1999 4:59 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I drank some Snapple
Then foolishly, I drank more
I stretched my bowel
Haiku # 1997, September 9, 1999 4:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
So few seasons turn
Endlessly throughout the years
Which one is Bummer?
Haiku # 1996, September 9, 1999 4:57 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This page of haiku
Is not only bad but long
It may soon explode
Haiku # 1995, September 9, 1999 4:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Tell me to shut up
I need to get beauty sleep
Lord knows I need it
Haiku # 1994, September 8, 1999 9:25 pm ET
by Sarin
And to quote Shakespeare
Is just another cheap way
Wasting three minutes
Haiku # 1993, September 8, 1999 9:23 pm ET
by Sarin
And now three mintues
To write my own bad haiku
All the World''s a stage
Haiku # 1992, September 8, 1999 9:21 pm ET
by Sarin
I wasted too long
Reading too much bad haiku
Fifteen minutes gone
Haiku # 1991, September 8, 1999 9:18 pm ET
by Sarin
an alien clock
which detracts from the impact
regarding the date
Haiku # 1990, September 8, 1999 7:45 pm ET
by ash
nine nine ninety-nine
it is i who malfunction
whilst i waste the day
Haiku # 1989, September 8, 1999 7:42 pm ET
by ash
Time for me to go
Phone bill mounting rapidly
Bye-bye everyone
Haiku # 1988, September 8, 1999 8:45 am ET
by Like Herod
That last one was mine
Forgot to put my name in
Silly silly boy
Haiku # 1987, September 8, 1999 8:36 am ET
by Like Herod
I''m worried about
My addiction to wrestling
Long-haired men in tights
Haiku # 1986, September 8, 1999 8:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Again, apologies
But if I don''t sell t-shirts
Can''t afford to eat
Haiku # 1985, September 8, 1999 8:32 am ET
by Like Herod
Sorry about this -
This here is a shameless plug
Come visit my site:

http://www.drugSkilldesigns.freeserve.co.uk
Haiku # 1984, September 8, 1999 8:28 am ET
by Like Herod
Whoever''s in charge:
Thanks for helping me waste time
This site is the best
Although I must say
Apostrophes need fixing.
Apart from that: cool
Haiku # 1983, September 8, 1999 8:25 am ET
by Like Herod
A smoking monkey:
Now THAT''S a good idea
(Birthday present hint!)
Haiku # 1982, September 8, 1999 8:20 am ET
by Like Herod
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