Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 42 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Passed out on the floor
Puddle of vomit my one
clue to what happened
Haiku # 1672, August 7, 1999 8:33 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
If I wrote Haiku
To describe your many charms
Could I grab your ass?
Haiku # 1671, August 7, 1999 8:32 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
my penis is large
my money is abundant
where are the chicks?
Haiku # 1670, August 7, 1999 4:51 pm ET
by chris
why does she IM?
she ripped my f**cking heart out
i mope always now
Haiku # 1669, August 7, 1999 4:45 pm ET
by chris
my cat''s neck and head
are flea-bitten and scabby
decapitation
Haiku # 1668, August 7, 1999 4:42 pm ET
by chris
when whisky is chugged
and pizza is inhaled, chunks
swirl counterclockwise
Haiku # 1667, August 7, 1999 4:39 pm ET
by chris
inverse investments
based on the belief that I
will be an icon

it has been my dream
and quite a wet one at that
since I was a girl

and now the fear strikes
cuz it''s time for me to, (shh)
the camera will lie

if I am
Haiku # 1666, August 5, 1999 2:22 pm ET
by kkk kate capshaw
a man is giving
me money to make him rich
my dreams are rainchecks
Haiku # 1665, August 5, 1999 2:10 pm ET
by high as a highness
Oh where oh where has
my Hollywood gone? Oh where
oh where can he be?
Haiku # 1664, August 5, 1999 9:16 am ET
by Eddie Futch
i could rule the world
if i was a lot bigger
and carried a nuke
Haiku # 1663, August 5, 1999 5:29 am ET
by ash
Good God my darling
I think that I flipped my wig
such halcyon days
Haiku # 1662, August 4, 1999 10:16 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
It has become clear
You would like to see me nude
I can understand
Haiku # 1661, August 4, 1999 10:10 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
the frog runs screaming
just like a banshee in green
no one notices
Haiku # 1660, August 4, 1999 10:06 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
the frog runs screaming
just like a banshee in green
no one notices
Haiku # 1659, August 4, 1999 10:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I built me a raft
I might pass this way again
In life.....you don''t know
Haiku # 1658, August 4, 1999 6:07 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
my feet are sexy
arizona embers burn.
fried feet anyone?
Haiku # 1657, August 4, 1999 5:16 pm ET
by moo j of phoenix, gorp
I love The Big Dig
We approach a golden age
But they''ll all still whine
Haiku # 1656, August 4, 1999 1:30 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
I hope those ass holes
are through harassing OJ
He''s suffered enough
Haiku # 1655, August 4, 1999 1:23 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
take away this pain
reading reader''s digest sucks
where''s my bad Haiku??
Haiku # 1654, August 4, 1999 12:57 pm ET
by oldnasty of arcata,
Haiku # 1653, August 4, 1999 12:52 pm ET
by oldnasty
Today my job ends
Good thing I sent resumes
I''ll love my new job
Haiku # 1652, August 4, 1999 12:17 pm ET
by otaking
The neighbour''s sheepdog
has been shorn, and all its fur
is now a merkin
Haiku # 1651, August 4, 1999 9:30 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I wear pink boxers
I''m not secretly gay or
Anything like that
Haiku # 1650, August 4, 1999 8:51 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The heavy shroud
of time lies around my mind
Like a big parka
Haiku # 1649, August 4, 1999 8:49 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When fish swim softly
No-one hears their gentle splash
Except other fish
Haiku # 1648, August 4, 1999 8:47 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I am iron man
I''m not made from iron though
I like ironing
Haiku # 1647, August 4, 1999 8:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Making fresh popcorn
With a blowtorch and some oil
Where are my eyebrows?
Haiku # 1646, August 4, 1999 8:44 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Two haikus, how queer
I only clicked the thing once
Computers are pants
Haiku # 1645, August 4, 1999 8:43 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I touched your brain
Would you giggle or cry out?
I''ve washed my forcep...
Haiku # 1644, August 4, 1999 8:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I touched your brain
Would you giggle or cry out?
I''ve washed my forcep...
Haiku # 1643, August 4, 1999 8:41 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If men were machines
They''d have electronic parts
Instead of flesh ones
Haiku # 1642, August 4, 1999 8:32 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
when the cold descends
where fog hangs in the valley
sit near the heater
Haiku # 1641, August 4, 1999 6:19 am ET
by ash
At John and Chuck''s place
The Lobster''s are three pounds each
You''d think it''s Heaven!
Haiku # 1640, August 4, 1999 3:50 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
If mercy exists
and may be nobly bestowed
build me walls, oh lord
Haiku # 1639, August 3, 1999 1:42 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Jesse and James fly
Team Rocket blasts off again
Meowth goes with them
Haiku # 1638, August 3, 1999 11:11 am ET
by Otaking
I like Pokemon
Pikachu makes me happy
So does Team Rocket
Haiku # 1637, August 3, 1999 6:56 am ET
by Otaking
once I heard so clear
the phatness of a kick ass
smooth bass line thumpin
Haiku # 1636, August 2, 1999 9:44 pm ET
by Infinity
spammed with an offer
webcast from a toilet bowl
why do they bother?
Haiku # 1635, August 2, 1999 6:08 pm ET
by ash
Congratulations,
Your new wife is a racist
Good Luck and God Bless.
Haiku # 1634, August 2, 1999 1:24 pm ET
by Sugar Monkey Girl
Your wallet is in
your blue pants. "My blue
pants? I
got this many pants on?"
Haiku # 1633, August 2, 1999 9:37 am ET
by Eddie Futch
Should I buy CDs?
Or try Forbidden Planet?
I hate decisions.
Haiku # 1632, August 2, 1999 4:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A sound, a whisper
Two gossamer threads entwine
Then forever part
Haiku # 1631, August 2, 1999 4:38 am ET
by LR Whister
Why all the swearing?
It''s neither big nor clever
Only tedious
Haiku # 1630, August 2, 1999 4:35 am ET
by Lynda Le Plant of Ficus Robustus
Fuck you! My head hurt!
Fuck you! My head hurt real bad!
Fuck you! How is that!?
Haiku # 1629, August 1, 1999 8:21 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
Hey Pop''s that''s not 5!
Do you hear me? Look at it!
You''re out of bounds here!
Haiku # 1628, August 1, 1999 8:18 pm ET
by Kate
My fucking head hurts.
I will never drink again.
Do you hear me! NEVER!!!
Haiku # 1627, July 31, 1999 1:50 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
before solarfilm
stretched coloured tissue or silk
high on acetone
Haiku # 1626, July 31, 1999 5:40 am ET
by ash
aerodynamic
check my lift coefficient
stroke my empennage
Haiku # 1625, July 31, 1999 5:38 am ET
by ash
so I''m wondering
does the worm in tequila
hold special powers?
Haiku # 1624, July 31, 1999 12:08 am ET
by Infinity
The guy at the desk
named Virgil came from out West
to teach us the ropes
Haiku # 1623, July 30, 1999 9:47 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
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