Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

i could rule the world
if i was a lot bigger
and carried a nuke
Haiku # 1663, August 5, 1999 5:29 am ET
by ash
Good God my darling
I think that I flipped my wig
such halcyon days
Haiku # 1662, August 4, 1999 10:16 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
It has become clear
You would like to see me nude
I can understand
Haiku # 1661, August 4, 1999 10:10 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
the frog runs screaming
just like a banshee in green
no one notices
Haiku # 1660, August 4, 1999 10:06 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
the frog runs screaming
just like a banshee in green
no one notices
Haiku # 1659, August 4, 1999 10:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I built me a raft
I might pass this way again
In life.....you don''t know
Haiku # 1658, August 4, 1999 6:07 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
my feet are sexy
arizona embers burn.
fried feet anyone?
Haiku # 1657, August 4, 1999 5:16 pm ET
by moo j of phoenix, gorp
I love The Big Dig
We approach a golden age
But they''ll all still whine
Haiku # 1656, August 4, 1999 1:30 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
I hope those ass holes
are through harassing OJ
He''s suffered enough
Haiku # 1655, August 4, 1999 1:23 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
take away this pain
reading reader''s digest sucks
where''s my bad Haiku??
Haiku # 1654, August 4, 1999 12:57 pm ET
by oldnasty of arcata,
Haiku # 1653, August 4, 1999 12:52 pm ET
by oldnasty
Today my job ends
Good thing I sent resumes
I''ll love my new job
Haiku # 1652, August 4, 1999 12:17 pm ET
by otaking
The neighbour''s sheepdog
has been shorn, and all its fur
is now a merkin
Haiku # 1651, August 4, 1999 9:30 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I wear pink boxers
I''m not secretly gay or
Anything like that
Haiku # 1650, August 4, 1999 8:51 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The heavy shroud
of time lies around my mind
Like a big parka
Haiku # 1649, August 4, 1999 8:49 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When fish swim softly
No-one hears their gentle splash
Except other fish
Haiku # 1648, August 4, 1999 8:47 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I am iron man
I''m not made from iron though
I like ironing
Haiku # 1647, August 4, 1999 8:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Making fresh popcorn
With a blowtorch and some oil
Where are my eyebrows?
Haiku # 1646, August 4, 1999 8:44 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Two haikus, how queer
I only clicked the thing once
Computers are pants
Haiku # 1645, August 4, 1999 8:43 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I touched your brain
Would you giggle or cry out?
I''ve washed my forcep...
Haiku # 1644, August 4, 1999 8:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I touched your brain
Would you giggle or cry out?
I''ve washed my forcep...
Haiku # 1643, August 4, 1999 8:41 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If men were machines
They''d have electronic parts
Instead of flesh ones
Haiku # 1642, August 4, 1999 8:32 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
when the cold descends
where fog hangs in the valley
sit near the heater
Haiku # 1641, August 4, 1999 6:19 am ET
by ash
At John and Chuck''s place
The Lobster''s are three pounds each
You''d think it''s Heaven!
Haiku # 1640, August 4, 1999 3:50 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
If mercy exists
and may be nobly bestowed
build me walls, oh lord
Haiku # 1639, August 3, 1999 1:42 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Jesse and James fly
Team Rocket blasts off again
Meowth goes with them
Haiku # 1638, August 3, 1999 11:11 am ET
by Otaking
I like Pokemon
Pikachu makes me happy
So does Team Rocket
Haiku # 1637, August 3, 1999 6:56 am ET
by Otaking
once I heard so clear
the phatness of a kick ass
smooth bass line thumpin
Haiku # 1636, August 2, 1999 9:44 pm ET
by Infinity
spammed with an offer
webcast from a toilet bowl
why do they bother?
Haiku # 1635, August 2, 1999 6:08 pm ET
by ash
Congratulations,
Your new wife is a racist
Good Luck and God Bless.
Haiku # 1634, August 2, 1999 1:24 pm ET
by Sugar Monkey Girl
Your wallet is in
your blue pants. "My blue
pants? I
got this many pants on?"
Haiku # 1633, August 2, 1999 9:37 am ET
by Eddie Futch
Should I buy CDs?
Or try Forbidden Planet?
I hate decisions.
Haiku # 1632, August 2, 1999 4:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A sound, a whisper
Two gossamer threads entwine
Then forever part
Haiku # 1631, August 2, 1999 4:38 am ET
by LR Whister
Why all the swearing?
It''s neither big nor clever
Only tedious
Haiku # 1630, August 2, 1999 4:35 am ET
by Lynda Le Plant of Ficus Robustus
Fuck you! My head hurt!
Fuck you! My head hurt real bad!
Fuck you! How is that!?
Haiku # 1629, August 1, 1999 8:21 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
Hey Pop''s that''s not 5!
Do you hear me? Look at it!
You''re out of bounds here!
Haiku # 1628, August 1, 1999 8:18 pm ET
by Kate
My fucking head hurts.
I will never drink again.
Do you hear me! NEVER!!!
Haiku # 1627, July 31, 1999 1:50 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
before solarfilm
stretched coloured tissue or silk
high on acetone
Haiku # 1626, July 31, 1999 5:40 am ET
by ash
aerodynamic
check my lift coefficient
stroke my empennage
Haiku # 1625, July 31, 1999 5:38 am ET
by ash
so I''m wondering
does the worm in tequila
hold special powers?
Haiku # 1624, July 31, 1999 12:08 am ET
by Infinity
The guy at the desk
named Virgil came from out West
to teach us the ropes
Haiku # 1623, July 30, 1999 9:47 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Strung out from the road
I type the brittle letters
Can you read my thoughts?
Haiku # 1622, July 30, 1999 9:43 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Elvis left the house.
With the white knight and a phone.
What happened Friday?
Haiku # 1621, July 30, 1999 9:29 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
all i want to do
all i want to do is run
run from jellyman
Haiku # 1620, July 30, 1999 8:44 pm ET
by ricky rickshaw of arlington, usa
i watched cock theatre
a million dollar mirror
(massaging my tripe)
Haiku # 1619, July 30, 1999 4:47 pm ET
by kkk kate moss
will somebody please
get this man some help you know
he''s got no damn head
Haiku # 1618, July 30, 1999 11:59 am ET
by Infinity
bang bang bang bang bang
bang bang bang bang bang bang bang
good ol'' u.s.a.
Haiku # 1617, July 30, 1999 5:25 am ET
by ash
smaller and smaller
tinier and tinier
infinitesmal
Haiku # 1616, July 30, 1999 5:20 am ET
by ash
On the Clubhouse steps
Ernie taught us life''s lesson,
.....that we ALL bleed RED.
Haiku # 1615, July 29, 1999 4:06 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
In notes Cristo sang,
"I''m going hungry yeah, yeah"
Get that man some food!
Haiku # 1614, July 29, 1999 4:05 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
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