Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 42 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Why all the swearing?
It''s neither big nor clever
Only tedious
Haiku # 1630, August 2, 1999 4:35 am ET
by Lynda Le Plant of Ficus Robustus
Fuck you! My head hurt!
Fuck you! My head hurt real bad!
Fuck you! How is that!?
Haiku # 1629, August 1, 1999 8:21 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
Hey Pop''s that''s not 5!
Do you hear me? Look at it!
You''re out of bounds here!
Haiku # 1628, August 1, 1999 8:18 pm ET
by Kate
My fucking head hurts.
I will never drink again.
Do you hear me! NEVER!!!
Haiku # 1627, July 31, 1999 1:50 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
before solarfilm
stretched coloured tissue or silk
high on acetone
Haiku # 1626, July 31, 1999 5:40 am ET
by ash
aerodynamic
check my lift coefficient
stroke my empennage
Haiku # 1625, July 31, 1999 5:38 am ET
by ash
so I''m wondering
does the worm in tequila
hold special powers?
Haiku # 1624, July 31, 1999 12:08 am ET
by Infinity
The guy at the desk
named Virgil came from out West
to teach us the ropes
Haiku # 1623, July 30, 1999 9:47 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Strung out from the road
I type the brittle letters
Can you read my thoughts?
Haiku # 1622, July 30, 1999 9:43 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Elvis left the house.
With the white knight and a phone.
What happened Friday?
Haiku # 1621, July 30, 1999 9:29 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
all i want to do
all i want to do is run
run from jellyman
Haiku # 1620, July 30, 1999 8:44 pm ET
by ricky rickshaw of arlington, usa
i watched cock theatre
a million dollar mirror
(massaging my tripe)
Haiku # 1619, July 30, 1999 4:47 pm ET
by kkk kate moss
will somebody please
get this man some help you know
he''s got no damn head
Haiku # 1618, July 30, 1999 11:59 am ET
by Infinity
bang bang bang bang bang
bang bang bang bang bang bang bang
good ol'' u.s.a.
Haiku # 1617, July 30, 1999 5:25 am ET
by ash
smaller and smaller
tinier and tinier
infinitesmal
Haiku # 1616, July 30, 1999 5:20 am ET
by ash
On the Clubhouse steps
Ernie taught us life''s lesson,
.....that we ALL bleed RED.
Haiku # 1615, July 29, 1999 4:06 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
In notes Cristo sang,
"I''m going hungry yeah, yeah"
Get that man some food!
Haiku # 1614, July 29, 1999 4:05 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
With my monkey''s hand
I can conjure up the truth
Just the way I want
Haiku # 1613, July 29, 1999 4:00 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
LC played eighteen
ran home and washed the monkey
then ate some pork pie
Haiku # 1612, July 29, 1999 3:58 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
Billion dollar babe
took me to the promised land
in yesterday''s dream
Haiku # 1611, July 29, 1999 3:54 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
In your land you see
fat, monkey-faced women, eh?
You must be English!
Haiku # 1610, July 29, 1999 3:49 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
gooey sweet surprise
chocolate center when I
opened up his brain
Haiku # 1609, July 29, 1999 12:08 pm ET
by Infinity
back in my dark cube
a post-it note marked ''REVOLT!''
reach for the stapler
Haiku # 1608, July 29, 1999 10:00 am ET
by Hollywood Abomidus
Smegma from Kansas
Is what orangey bits are
And you eat it. Eugh
Haiku # 1607, July 29, 1999 9:47 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Satan''s own urine:
Snapple''s main ingredient.
True
Haiku # 1606, July 29, 1999 9:39 am ET
by read the label.
Poor misguided fool
Everyone knows that Snapple
Is God
Haiku # 1605, July 29, 1999 9:39 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I have an album.
''Let''s All Make Love in London'',
it''s called. Psychadelic.
Haiku # 1604, July 29, 1999 9:38 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Masturbationing
Isn
Haiku # 1603, July 29, 1999 9:36 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
You talk out your arse;
Jaffa Cakes are flinky
- Better than Snapple.
Haiku # 1602, July 29, 1999 9:34 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I
Haiku # 1601, July 29, 1999 9:34 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Jaffa Cakes are vile
Spit out the orangey bit
Or you
Haiku # 1600, July 29, 1999 9:27 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Thugs abound round here
Fat, monkey-faced women, too.
Inbreeding is rife.
Haiku # 1599, July 29, 1999 9:24 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Ooh, mm, Jaffa Cakes
Ninety-one percent fat-free
and orangey, too
Haiku # 1598, July 29, 1999 9:23 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
baked at the pet store
they drug test their employees
glad I just shop here
Haiku # 1597, July 29, 1999 7:09 am ET
by Hollywood Fonzarelli
" " " "
''''''''''''''
" " " " "
Haiku # 1596, July 29, 1999 6:52 am ET
by Maybe you"re right
Licking stuff is fun
Especially when it
Haiku # 1595, July 29, 1999 6:08 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The apostrophe
Is such a hard thing to use
For Americans
Haiku # 1594, July 29, 1999 6:05 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Pass the red pesto
The purple mastodon said
And so I passed it
Haiku # 1593, July 29, 1999 6:03 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
You could press people
If you had a twisted mind
and a big fat book
Haiku # 1592, July 29, 1999 6:01 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Your daughter''s that smart?
Quote her teacher again, please
I''ll kill your daughter
Haiku # 1591, July 29, 1999 5:59 am ET
by Eddie Futch
The boredom trickles
Down my personality
Like wee down a leg
Haiku # 1590, July 29, 1999 5:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Morning coffee, eh?
It''s gonna be hot you say?
Got the low-wall blues
Haiku # 1589, July 29, 1999 5:57 am ET
by Eddie Futch
Got the low-wall blues
Shut your mouth or I''ll kill you
Got the low-wall blues
Haiku # 1588, July 29, 1999 5:55 am ET
by Eddie Futch
I know scary stuff
N Sync molests little boys
and then strangles them
Haiku # 1587, July 28, 1999 12:47 pm ET
by Infinity
butt fuck butt fuck butt
you are such a total slut
the new star wars sucks
Haiku # 1586, July 28, 1999 12:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of fuck you
overheard order
I need a cinnamon bun
no you don''t lady
Haiku # 1585, July 28, 1999 7:26 am ET
by Hollywood Worker Bee
my oral surgeon
says ''synthetic narcotic''
he shoots, he scores! yes!
Haiku # 1584, July 28, 1999 7:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
giant transistor
checks his papers, lets him through
lucky electron!
Haiku # 1583, July 27, 1999 8:31 pm ET
by Hollywood Fuckenheimer
Cool autumn morning
The blue disc calls out my name
COME ON! IT''S PLAY TIME!!!
Haiku # 1582, July 27, 1999 5:45 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Riding with the wind
Where you land is up to fate
It''s the frisbee life
Haiku # 1581, July 27, 1999 5:44 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
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