Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Oh, I eat pussy
If it smells like fish, eat it
As I always say
Haiku # 1053, January 16, 1999 3:54 am ET
by Bubba
Oh, I eat pussy
If it smalls like fish, eat it
As I always say
Haiku # 1052, January 16, 1999 3:53 am ET
by Bubba
count again my friend.
mine are seventeen, unlike
the two you sent in.
Haiku # 1051, January 16, 1999 2:39 am ET
by Buck Nekid
I laughed so hard I think I had an orgasm
From that last post
Thank you Dr. Teeth!
Haiku # 1050, January 15, 1999 3:57 pm ET
by Kim of Phila, USA
New-installed car gun
blasts, recoils; charred remains!
Flip ME off, will you?
Haiku # 1049, January 15, 1999 12:12 pm ET
by Dr. Teeth of LA, USA
thought for a workday
play the lottery and win
knock this shithole down
Haiku # 1048, January 15, 1999 12:12 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Dyslexic agnos-
tic insomniac, up late,
Cries, "Is there a dog?"
Haiku # 1047, January 15, 1999 12:07 pm ET
by Dr.Teeth of LA, USA
He wants deep throat
That's not a problem
His dick is small.
Haiku # 1046, January 15, 1999 11:19 am ET
by Kim of Phila, USA
mister t and me
went ice fishing last winter
later, he kissed me
Haiku # 1045, January 15, 1999 10:44 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
But that's okay BuckI guess the second MeowmixWas a mistake?
Haiku # 1044, January 15, 1999 4:24 am ET
by AHHT
My haikus are badBut at least they are seventeensyllables, Buck
Haiku # 1043, January 15, 1999 4:11 am ET
by AHHT
It is illegalTo walk down some city streetsIf you are ugly
Haiku # 1042, January 15, 1999 4:05 am ET
by AHHT
I wear the pantsin this relationship but they'rebig, baggy clown pants
Haiku # 1041, January 15, 1999 3:58 am ET
by AHHT
I want chicken, I
want liver meowmix,meowmix
please deliver. Please?
Haiku # 1040, January 15, 1999 1:17 am ET
by Buck Nekid
watch out while you sleep
cause when you least expect it
there's PSYCHO KITTY!!
Haiku # 1039, January 15, 1999 1:13 am ET
by Buck Nekid
Laugh, clown,laugh.This is
what I tell myself when I
dress up like bozo
Haiku # 1038, January 15, 1999 1:09 am ET
by Buck Nekid
bananas taste good
funky monkeys taste better
let out a big yawn
Haiku # 1036, January 14, 1999 7:48 pm ET
by none Uh?
The snow blows around
Making baked beans taste better
Now I have to fart.
Haiku # 1035, January 14, 1999 7:39 pm ET
by Hannah of noneofyourbusiness, US
Cyanide turkey,
Blue faces--another Ke-
vorkian evening
Haiku # 1034, January 14, 1999 5:11 pm ET
by Amy of SLC, USA
this is really true:
girl I knew said her newborn
was hung like a horse
Haiku # 1033, January 14, 1999 11:58 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
if I was female
I would make it a point to
show truckers my tits
Haiku # 1032, January 14, 1999 11:45 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Japanese girls are
Chasing gaigin Dean, and then:
Kanashibari!
Haiku # 1031, January 14, 1999 5:01 am ET
by Tim of Dunedin, New Zealand
Oh the altar boys
"Post-coitus anima triste
I cum, go sadly
Haiku # 1030, January 13, 1999 11:46 pm ET
by nunya bidness
What a crappy logo
Still messing with this
Hollywood bonfire is a freak
Haiku # 1029, January 13, 1999 11:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of glj
http://www.topix.com/~janis/submit.gif
I'm just messing with this
shut up
Haiku # 1028, January 13, 1999 11:51 am ET
by rsgf of gd, hgdgfd
How I hate that smell!
Napalm brings my breakfast up:
Man, your foot's on fire!
Haiku # 1027, January 13, 1999 5:53 am ET
by Ron Williams of Sydney, Oz
Your come flies in eyes
My mom flab fucks you quickly
It makes me wet too
Haiku # 1026, January 13, 1999 3:24 am ET
by Meatball of Bangor, USA
Scent of new spring blooms
Clouds of everlasting hope
I hate Ebola
Haiku # 1025, January 13, 1999 12:17 am ET
by ALAN of Toronto, Canada
Morning sun, fresh dew,
Butterflies dance in the breeze.
Die mother f*cker!
Haiku # 1024, January 13, 1999 12:16 am ET
by ALAN of Toronto, Canada
The best think to do
is sneak up on little kids
and scare them badly
Haiku # 1023, January 12, 1999 12:15 pm ET
by Adam of Sunnyvale, U.S.A.
Yesterday we had a party
I drank lots of beer
I'm pissing since morning
Haiku # 1022, January 12, 1999 12:14 pm ET
by Rahul Jain of Kanpur, India
I've a friend
who writes bad poems
But, hey! Not worse than me.
Haiku # 1021, January 12, 1999 12:08 pm ET
by Rahul Jain of Kanpur, India
baby pigs at play ...
kindergarten of bacon,
grunting chorizo.
Haiku # 1020, January 12, 1999 12:05 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
Stakhanov sleeps in
mine tailings, the years shrugging
the weight of vodka
Haiku # 1019, January 12, 1999 12:03 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
Lemon fresh goodness
when she walks by, shyly smiles
her new shoes on fire.
Haiku # 1018, January 12, 1999 12:01 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
I nory awah:
Excuse me, Uncle Mike, but
my bottom just burped.
Haiku # 1017, January 12, 1999 11:03 am ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
I write the Haiku
But there is no soup for you
Shut yer yap you fool
Haiku # 1016, January 11, 1999 12:11 pm ET
by Peter Niemeier of Woodside, USA
make up your own mind
Heisenberg's uncertainty
can't be principled
Haiku # 1015, January 10, 1999 11:37 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
that hot bitumen
underfoot, tar very much
damns my burning soles
Haiku # 1014, January 10, 1999 11:22 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
life is a banquet
most poor suckers are starving
damn stinking halo
Haiku # 1013, January 9, 1999 12:45 am ET
by Amanda B. Reckondwith
i know a man who has cauliflower warts
that bulge and protrude when he wears tight shorts
don't worry kyoko
Haiku # 1012, January 9, 1999 12:31 am ET
by flying dutchman of stinkingpitof, us o' a
I've had too many beers
She looked good last night
But not this morn
Haiku # 1011, January 8, 1999 10:39 pm ET
by Tom
My girlfriend's cold feet
Up against my back in bed
She thinks it's funny
Haiku # 1010, January 8, 1999 5:46 pm ET
by Horrified of Simpleton, USA
Mating rituals,
dreamlike rollercoasters eat
Muddy globule leaves
Haiku # 1009, January 7, 1999 8:57 pm ET
by AHHT
My pitbull is big
Stupid dog scared of people
Zero is a bitch
Haiku # 1008, January 7, 1999 1:28 pm ET
by Hate of Dena,
One, five syllables
Two, seven is next to come
Last, like first, its done
Haiku # 1007, January 7, 1999 6:13 am ET
by Dean Johnston of Menuma, Japan
Where is the toilet?
I'm going right on the floor
Here comes the poo-poo
Haiku # 1006, January 6, 1999 12:43 am ET
by Andrea of North,
Hey there Hollywood
You always inspire with
Your perfect haiku
Haiku # 1005, January 5, 1999 11:02 pm ET
by Janis of Currently in LA, USA
I miss all my friends
Burried there in Toronto
But here it is warm
Haiku # 1004, January 5, 1999 10:39 pm ET
by Janis of (currently in)LA, USA
Riding bikes in the pool
Is a lot of fun but
It's against the law
Haiku # 1003, January 5, 1999 7:26 pm ET
by AHHT
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