My haikus are badBut at least they are seventeensyllables, Buck

It is illegalTo walk down some city streetsIf you are ugly

I wear the pantsin this relationship but they'rebig, baggy clown pants

I want chicken, I
want liver meowmix,meowmix
please deliver. Please?

watch out while you sleep
cause when you least expect it
there's PSYCHO KITTY!!

Laugh, clown,laugh.This is
what I tell myself when I
dress up like bozo

bananas taste good
funky monkeys taste better
let out a big yawn

The snow blows around
Making baked beans taste better
Now I have to fart.

Cyanide turkey,
Blue faces--another Ke-
vorkian evening

this is really true:
girl I knew said her newborn
was hung like a horse

if I was female
I would make it a point to
show truckers my tits

Japanese girls are
Chasing gaigin Dean, and then:
Kanashibari!

Oh the altar boys
"Post-coitus anima triste
I cum, go sadly

What a crappy logo
Still messing with this
Hollywood bonfire is a freak

http://www.topix.com/~janis/submit.gif
I'm just messing with this
shut up

How I hate that smell!
Napalm brings my breakfast up:
Man, your foot's on fire!

Your come flies in eyes
My mom flab fucks you quickly
It makes me wet too

Scent of new spring blooms
Clouds of everlasting hope
I hate Ebola

Morning sun, fresh dew,
Butterflies dance in the breeze.
Die mother f*cker!

The best think to do
is sneak up on little kids
and scare them badly

Yesterday we had a party
I drank lots of beer
I'm pissing since morning

I've a friend
who writes bad poems
But, hey! Not worse than me.

baby pigs at play ...
kindergarten of bacon,
grunting chorizo.

Stakhanov sleeps in
mine tailings, the years shrugging
the weight of vodka

Lemon fresh goodness
when she walks by, shyly smiles
her new shoes on fire.

I nory awah:
Excuse me, Uncle Mike, but
my bottom just burped.

I write the Haiku
But there is no soup for you
Shut yer yap you fool

make up your own mind
Heisenberg's uncertainty
can't be principled

that hot bitumen
underfoot, tar very much
damns my burning soles

life is a banquet
most poor suckers are starving
damn stinking halo

i know a man who has cauliflower warts
that bulge and protrude when he wears tight shorts
don't worry kyoko

I've had too many beers
She looked good last night
But not this morn

My girlfriend's cold feet
Up against my back in bed
She thinks it's funny

Mating rituals,
dreamlike rollercoasters eat
Muddy globule leaves

My pitbull is big
Stupid dog scared of people
Zero is a bitch

One, five syllables
Two, seven is next to come
Last, like first, its done

Where is the toilet?
I'm going right on the floor
Here comes the poo-poo

Hey there Hollywood
You always inspire with
Your perfect haiku

I miss all my friends
Burried there in Toronto
But here it is warm

Riding bikes in the pool
Is a lot of fun but
It's against the law

haiku from Janis!
the hostess with the mostess
for her I'd eat trash

Ready for 2K
chaos?
Change your name by deedpoll to "Toe-Cutter."

I worry about
That microchip in my cat
When Y2K comes

Consider storing
Many gallons of Vodka
For the coming year

throwing knives at birds
is something I'm not proud of
but I am the best

a cheap cardboard head
stuffed with hamburger and dirt
with a note inside

first thoughts of the year:
who the fuck killed that bottle?
oh yeah, heh heh, me

gave the hog a sow
for xmas-jumped her bones promptly
male chauvinist pig?

i tossa my bait
the fishee not like 2 much
no fishee for me

the seahawks season
slaps at my olfactory
like sour milk but worse