a cheap cardboard head
stuffed with hamburger and dirt
with a note inside
by Hollywood Bonfire
first thoughts of the year:
who the fuck killed that bottle?
oh yeah, heh heh, me
by Hollywood Bonfire
gave the hog a sow
for xmas-jumped her bones promptly
male chauvinist pig?
by haikureaddis?twilight zone,
i tossa my bait
the fishee not like 2 much
no fishee for me
by doobygillisprudhoe bay,
the seahawks season
slaps at my olfactory
like sour milk but worse
by mike of Anchorage,
I'm going to party
like it's 1999.
Prince is annoying.
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
cheese-scented jumpsuit!
a car made of rancid meat!
underwear for dogs!
by Hollywood Bonfire
when I was a boy
walking to school in spring
I'd drink or take drugs
by Hollywood Bonfire
the new year will bloom
while I sleep, my face against
the toilet's cool base
by Hollywood Bonfire
o celebration
earth is in that spot again
where hangovers spawn
by ashley of Oz
Cheerios are sweet
as they crunch in my mouth. Crunch!
I'll have more tomorrow.
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Where to eat tonight....
"I don't know,what do you want?"
"No, what do you want?"
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Snoots eats cheese wedges
Because he's a little rat!
He's so cute! Yippee!
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Large, malignant warts
Cover my grotesque body
I like to eat them.
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
killing mosquitoes
is that misogynistic?
only the girls bite
by ashley of Oz
addle my neurones
o delicious dacquiri
but no bed spins please
by ashley of Oz
Is this a joke Frank?
A kangaroo chia pet?
This present sucks ass
by AHHT
unavoidable
the hirsute of pappy-ness
ear and nostril hairs
by ashley of Oz
the postal worker
brings cheese and fancy mayo
with some dead crackers
by deeders of marietta, us
so glad its over
says the four leaf clover
by Tag of LA, USA
A. and A. of Hai
Ku fame, Is you is or is
you ain't my babies?
by Donkey Hotee of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Quantum mechanics
Whattsa matter? Can't grasp math?
Abacus, fuckface.
by Ed Zealot of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Donkey wriggles. What?
Oh, halibut's thrombosis
Dead river jackass
by Dr. Porpoise of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Soon, soon my birthday
Unite. Unite Capricorns!
With me and JESUS!!
by Steve Fabulous of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
One eye brow raised, the
snotty waiter condescends:
"Are these your pants, sir?"
by Eddie Futch
You're entertaining,
unabashed, lewd, crude (tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
Boy! Did I ever
trash that last haiku
But I'msadder Budweiser
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
You're entertaining,
lewd, crude, rude,(tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
come here, little gal
wriggle into Santa's lap
there's a gift for you
by Kadiz
come here, little gal
sit in Santa's cozy lap
I've a gift for you.
by Kadiz
wonder if xmas
is that mas i used to know
before it left me?
by ashley of Oz
Kiwi Soup Goddess
Barrel of potatoe grass
figure it out yourself
by Marc of St. John's, Canada
Drinking Brill Cream
Has To be very contagious
Teddy Ruxpin has chicken legs
by Marc of St. John's, Canada
a merry christmas
and a happy new year too
my fellow poets
by ashley of Oz
go through ear, stab brain
three-tined fork, keep gauze handy
jagged lights, seizure
by Hollywood Bonfire
Happy holidays
To those whose bad haikus made
Me bleed from the ears.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Hmmm. As I scroll down
I notice that they follow.
Maybe the trailing?
by Kadiz
Kadiz, didn't you
mean the previous haikus
Not the following?
by AHHT
An anagram for
Monica Lewinsky is
"A lick wins money"
by AHHT
Work before Christmas?
Cocks. Great big swollen purple
Horses' cocks on sticks.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
the following two
by ashley and Rev'rend Jim
are really quite good
by Kadiz
from herein i guess
things go down in history
like a lewinski
by ashley oz
Why so evasive
Mr President? Maybe
You should have come clean.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
They ask: "What evil
Lurks in the hearts of men?" This
Your drycleaner knows.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Lie, even perjure
Himself over Monica?
Nice euphemism.
by Reverend Jim of London, Terra Incognita
even tinier
threw a saddle on a louse
rode him through your pubes
by Kadiz
Hallucination?
Snowing in San Francisco.
Really. I saw it.
by Dr. Don
nostrils ebb and flow
the drip, drip, drip, of mucus
it's sinus rhythm
by ashley of Oz
dreamt I was tiny
had a saddle for my cat
rode him through the woods
by Hollywood Bonfire
most men become rou
by Kadiz
