Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

watch out while you sleep
cause when you least expect it
there's PSYCHO KITTY!!
Haiku # 1039, January 15, 1999 1:13 am ET
by Buck Nekid
Laugh, clown,laugh.This is
what I tell myself when I
dress up like bozo
Haiku # 1038, January 15, 1999 1:09 am ET
by Buck Nekid
bananas taste good
funky monkeys taste better
let out a big yawn
Haiku # 1036, January 14, 1999 7:48 pm ET
by none Uh?
The snow blows around
Making baked beans taste better
Now I have to fart.
Haiku # 1035, January 14, 1999 7:39 pm ET
by Hannah of noneofyourbusiness, US
Cyanide turkey,
Blue faces--another Ke-
vorkian evening
Haiku # 1034, January 14, 1999 5:11 pm ET
by Amy of SLC, USA
this is really true:
girl I knew said her newborn
was hung like a horse
Haiku # 1033, January 14, 1999 11:58 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
if I was female
I would make it a point to
show truckers my tits
Haiku # 1032, January 14, 1999 11:45 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Japanese girls are
Chasing gaigin Dean, and then:
Kanashibari!
Haiku # 1031, January 14, 1999 5:01 am ET
by Tim of Dunedin, New Zealand
Oh the altar boys
"Post-coitus anima triste
I cum, go sadly
Haiku # 1030, January 13, 1999 11:46 pm ET
by nunya bidness
What a crappy logo
Still messing with this
Hollywood bonfire is a freak
Haiku # 1029, January 13, 1999 11:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of glj
http://www.topix.com/~janis/submit.gif
I'm just messing with this
shut up
Haiku # 1028, January 13, 1999 11:51 am ET
by rsgf of gd, hgdgfd
How I hate that smell!
Napalm brings my breakfast up:
Man, your foot's on fire!
Haiku # 1027, January 13, 1999 5:53 am ET
by Ron Williams of Sydney, Oz
Your come flies in eyes
My mom flab fucks you quickly
It makes me wet too
Haiku # 1026, January 13, 1999 3:24 am ET
by Meatball of Bangor, USA
Scent of new spring blooms
Clouds of everlasting hope
I hate Ebola
Haiku # 1025, January 13, 1999 12:17 am ET
by ALAN of Toronto, Canada
Morning sun, fresh dew,
Butterflies dance in the breeze.
Die mother f*cker!
Haiku # 1024, January 13, 1999 12:16 am ET
by ALAN of Toronto, Canada
The best think to do
is sneak up on little kids
and scare them badly
Haiku # 1023, January 12, 1999 12:15 pm ET
by Adam of Sunnyvale, U.S.A.
Yesterday we had a party
I drank lots of beer
I'm pissing since morning
Haiku # 1022, January 12, 1999 12:14 pm ET
by Rahul Jain of Kanpur, India
I've a friend
who writes bad poems
But, hey! Not worse than me.
Haiku # 1021, January 12, 1999 12:08 pm ET
by Rahul Jain of Kanpur, India
baby pigs at play ...
kindergarten of bacon,
grunting chorizo.
Haiku # 1020, January 12, 1999 12:05 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
Stakhanov sleeps in
mine tailings, the years shrugging
the weight of vodka
Haiku # 1019, January 12, 1999 12:03 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
Lemon fresh goodness
when she walks by, shyly smiles
her new shoes on fire.
Haiku # 1018, January 12, 1999 12:01 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
I nory awah:
Excuse me, Uncle Mike, but
my bottom just burped.
Haiku # 1017, January 12, 1999 11:03 am ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
I write the Haiku
But there is no soup for you
Shut yer yap you fool
Haiku # 1016, January 11, 1999 12:11 pm ET
by Peter Niemeier of Woodside, USA
make up your own mind
Heisenberg's uncertainty
can't be principled
Haiku # 1015, January 10, 1999 11:37 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
that hot bitumen
underfoot, tar very much
damns my burning soles
Haiku # 1014, January 10, 1999 11:22 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
life is a banquet
most poor suckers are starving
damn stinking halo
Haiku # 1013, January 9, 1999 12:45 am ET
by Amanda B. Reckondwith
i know a man who has cauliflower warts
that bulge and protrude when he wears tight shorts
don't worry kyoko
Haiku # 1012, January 9, 1999 12:31 am ET
by flying dutchman of stinkingpitof, us o' a
I've had too many beers
She looked good last night
But not this morn
Haiku # 1011, January 8, 1999 10:39 pm ET
by Tom
My girlfriend's cold feet
Up against my back in bed
She thinks it's funny
Haiku # 1010, January 8, 1999 5:46 pm ET
by Horrified of Simpleton, USA
Mating rituals,
dreamlike rollercoasters eat
Muddy globule leaves
Haiku # 1009, January 7, 1999 8:57 pm ET
by AHHT
My pitbull is big
Stupid dog scared of people
Zero is a bitch
Haiku # 1008, January 7, 1999 1:28 pm ET
by Hate of Dena,
One, five syllables
Two, seven is next to come
Last, like first, its done
Haiku # 1007, January 7, 1999 6:13 am ET
by Dean Johnston of Menuma, Japan
Where is the toilet?
I'm going right on the floor
Here comes the poo-poo
Haiku # 1006, January 6, 1999 12:43 am ET
by Andrea of North,
Hey there Hollywood
You always inspire with
Your perfect haiku
Haiku # 1005, January 5, 1999 11:02 pm ET
by Janis of Currently in LA, USA
I miss all my friends
Burried there in Toronto
But here it is warm
Haiku # 1004, January 5, 1999 10:39 pm ET
by Janis of (currently in)LA, USA
Riding bikes in the pool
Is a lot of fun but
It's against the law
Haiku # 1003, January 5, 1999 7:26 pm ET
by AHHT
haiku from Janis!
the hostess with the mostess
for her I'd eat trash
Haiku # 1002, January 4, 1999 12:45 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Ready for 2K
chaos?
Change your name by deedpoll to "Toe-Cutter."
Haiku # 1001, January 4, 1999 10:09 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
I worry about
That microchip in my cat
When Y2K comes
Haiku # 1000, January 3, 1999 10:23 pm ET
by Janis of LA, USA
Consider storing
Many gallons of Vodka
For the coming year
Haiku # 999, January 3, 1999 10:20 pm ET
by Janis of Haiku of LA, USA
throwing knives at birds
is something I'm not proud of
but I am the best
Haiku # 998, January 3, 1999 4:42 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire !
a cheap cardboard head
stuffed with hamburger and dirt
with a note inside
Haiku # 997, January 3, 1999 4:25 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
first thoughts of the year:
who the fuck killed that bottle?
oh yeah, heh heh, me
Haiku # 996, January 3, 1999 4:11 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
gave the hog a sow
for xmas-jumped her bones promptly
male chauvinist pig?
Haiku # 995, January 2, 1999 3:56 am ET
by haikureaddis?twilight zone,
i tossa my bait
the fishee not like 2 much
no fishee for me
Haiku # 994, January 2, 1999 3:28 am ET
by doobygillisprudhoe bay,
the seahawks season
slaps at my olfactory
like sour milk but worse
Haiku # 993, January 1, 1999 7:27 am ET
by mike of Anchorage,
I'm going to party
like it's 1999.

Prince is annoying.
Haiku # 992, December 31, 1998 7:40 pm ET
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
cheese-scented jumpsuit!
a car made of rancid meat!
underwear for dogs!
Haiku # 991, December 31, 1998 1:48 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
when I was a boy
walking to school in spring
I'd drink or take drugs
Haiku # 990, December 31, 1998 1:43 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
the new year will bloom
while I sleep, my face against

the toilet's cool base
Haiku # 989, December 31, 1998 1:37 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
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