Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

One, five syllables
Two, seven is next to come
Last, like first, its done
Haiku # 1007, January 7, 1999 6:13 am ET
by Dean Johnston of Menuma, Japan
Where is the toilet?
I'm going right on the floor
Here comes the poo-poo
Haiku # 1006, January 6, 1999 12:43 am ET
by Andrea of North,
Hey there Hollywood
You always inspire with
Your perfect haiku
Haiku # 1005, January 5, 1999 11:02 pm ET
by Janis of Currently in LA, USA
I miss all my friends
Burried there in Toronto
But here it is warm
Haiku # 1004, January 5, 1999 10:39 pm ET
by Janis of (currently in)LA, USA
Riding bikes in the pool
Is a lot of fun but
It's against the law
Haiku # 1003, January 5, 1999 7:26 pm ET
by AHHT
haiku from Janis!
the hostess with the mostess
for her I'd eat trash
Haiku # 1002, January 4, 1999 12:45 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Ready for 2K
chaos?
Change your name by deedpoll to "Toe-Cutter."
Haiku # 1001, January 4, 1999 10:09 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
I worry about
That microchip in my cat
When Y2K comes
Haiku # 1000, January 3, 1999 10:23 pm ET
by Janis of LA, USA
Consider storing
Many gallons of Vodka
For the coming year
Haiku # 999, January 3, 1999 10:20 pm ET
by Janis of Haiku of LA, USA
throwing knives at birds
is something I'm not proud of
but I am the best
Haiku # 998, January 3, 1999 4:42 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire !
a cheap cardboard head
stuffed with hamburger and dirt
with a note inside
Haiku # 997, January 3, 1999 4:25 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
first thoughts of the year:
who the fuck killed that bottle?
oh yeah, heh heh, me
Haiku # 996, January 3, 1999 4:11 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
gave the hog a sow
for xmas-jumped her bones promptly
male chauvinist pig?
Haiku # 995, January 2, 1999 3:56 am ET
by haikureaddis?twilight zone,
i tossa my bait
the fishee not like 2 much
no fishee for me
Haiku # 994, January 2, 1999 3:28 am ET
by doobygillisprudhoe bay,
the seahawks season
slaps at my olfactory
like sour milk but worse
Haiku # 993, January 1, 1999 7:27 am ET
by mike of Anchorage,
I'm going to party
like it's 1999.

Prince is annoying.
Haiku # 992, December 31, 1998 7:40 pm ET
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
cheese-scented jumpsuit!
a car made of rancid meat!
underwear for dogs!
Haiku # 991, December 31, 1998 1:48 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
when I was a boy
walking to school in spring
I'd drink or take drugs
Haiku # 990, December 31, 1998 1:43 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
the new year will bloom
while I sleep, my face against

the toilet's cool base
Haiku # 989, December 31, 1998 1:37 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
o celebration
earth is in that spot again
where hangovers spawn
Haiku # 988, December 31, 1998 5:35 am ET
by ashley of Oz
Cheerios are sweet
as they crunch in my mouth. Crunch!
I'll have more tomorrow.
Haiku # 987, December 30, 1998 11:09 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Where to eat tonight....
"I don't know,what do you want?"
"No, what do you want?"
Haiku # 986, December 30, 1998 11:05 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Snoots eats cheese wedges
Because he's a little rat!
He's so cute! Yippee!
Haiku # 985, December 30, 1998 11:02 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Large, malignant warts
Cover my grotesque body
I like to eat them.
Haiku # 984, December 30, 1998 10:56 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
killing mosquitoes
is that misogynistic?
only the girls bite
Haiku # 983, December 30, 1998 6:52 am ET
by ashley of Oz
addle my neurones
o delicious dacquiri
but no bed spins please
Haiku # 982, December 30, 1998 6:47 am ET
by ashley of Oz
Is this a joke Frank?
A kangaroo chia pet?
This present sucks ass
Haiku # 981, December 29, 1998 4:05 am ET
by AHHT
unavoidable
the hirsute of pappy-ness
ear and nostril hairs
Haiku # 980, December 28, 1998 6:21 am ET
by ashley of Oz
the postal worker
brings cheese and fancy mayo
with some dead crackers
Haiku # 979, December 26, 1998 4:06 am ET
by deeders of marietta, us
so glad its over
says the four leaf clover
Haiku # 978, December 25, 1998 2:51 pm ET
by Tag of LA, USA
A. and A. of Hai
Ku fame, Is you is or is
you ain't my babies?
Haiku # 977, December 24, 1998 1:50 pm ET
by Donkey Hotee of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Quantum mechanics
Whattsa matter? Can't grasp math?
Abacus, fuckface.
Haiku # 976, December 24, 1998 1:45 pm ET
by Ed Zealot of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Donkey wriggles. What?
Oh, halibut's thrombosis
Dead river jackass
Haiku # 975, December 24, 1998 1:39 pm ET
by Dr. Porpoise of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Soon, soon my birthday
Unite. Unite Capricorns!
With me and JESUS!!
Haiku # 974, December 24, 1998 1:33 pm ET
by Steve Fabulous of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
One eye brow raised, the
snotty waiter condescends:
"Are these your pants, sir?"

Haiku # 973, December 24, 1998 9:56 am ET
by Eddie Futch
You're entertaining,
unabashed, lewd, crude (tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
Haiku # 972, December 24, 1998 2:24 am ET
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
Boy! Did I ever
trash that last haiku
But I'msadder Budweiser
Haiku # 971, December 24, 1998 2:21 am ET
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
You're entertaining,
lewd, crude, rude,(tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
Haiku # 970, December 24, 1998 1:57 am ET
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
come here, little gal
wriggle into Santa's lap
there's a gift for you
Haiku # 969, December 23, 1998 9:17 pm ET
by Kadiz
come here, little gal
sit in Santa's cozy lap
I've a gift for you.
Haiku # 968, December 23, 1998 8:43 pm ET
by Kadiz
wonder if xmas
is that mas i used to know
before it left me?
Haiku # 967, December 23, 1998 6:57 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
Kiwi Soup Goddess
Barrel of potatoe grass
figure it out yourself
Haiku # 966, December 23, 1998 6:55 pm ET
by Marc of St. John's, Canada
Drinking Brill Cream
Has To be very contagious
Teddy Ruxpin has chicken legs
Haiku # 965, December 23, 1998 6:54 pm ET
by Marc of St. John's, Canada
a merry christmas
and a happy new year too
my fellow poets
Haiku # 964, December 23, 1998 6:53 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
go through ear, stab brain
three-tined fork, keep gauze handy
jagged lights, seizure
Haiku # 963, December 23, 1998 1:39 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Happy holidays
To those whose bad haikus made
Me bleed from the ears.
Haiku # 962, December 23, 1998 12:25 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Hmmm. As I scroll down
I notice that they follow.
Maybe the trailing?
Haiku # 961, December 23, 1998 9:39 am ET
by Kadiz
Kadiz, didn't you
mean the previous haikus
Not the following?
Haiku # 960, December 23, 1998 3:19 am ET
by AHHT
An anagram for
Monica Lewinsky is
"A lick wins money"
Haiku # 959, December 22, 1998 6:51 pm ET
by AHHT
Work before Christmas?
Cocks. Great big swollen purple
Horses' cocks on sticks.
Haiku # 958, December 22, 1998 12:29 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
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