Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Where is the toilet?
I'm going right on the floor
Here comes the poo-poo
Haiku # 1006, January 6, 1999 12:43 am ET
by Andrea of North,
Hey there Hollywood
You always inspire with
Your perfect haiku
Haiku # 1005, January 5, 1999 11:02 pm ET
by Janis of Currently in LA, USA
I miss all my friends
Burried there in Toronto
But here it is warm
Haiku # 1004, January 5, 1999 10:39 pm ET
by Janis of (currently in)LA, USA
Riding bikes in the pool
Is a lot of fun but
It's against the law
Haiku # 1003, January 5, 1999 7:26 pm ET
by AHHT
haiku from Janis!
the hostess with the mostess
for her I'd eat trash
Haiku # 1002, January 4, 1999 12:45 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Ready for 2K
chaos?
Change your name by deedpoll to "Toe-Cutter."
Haiku # 1001, January 4, 1999 10:09 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
I worry about
That microchip in my cat
When Y2K comes
Haiku # 1000, January 3, 1999 10:23 pm ET
by Janis of LA, USA
Consider storing
Many gallons of Vodka
For the coming year
Haiku # 999, January 3, 1999 10:20 pm ET
by Janis of Haiku of LA, USA
throwing knives at birds
is something I'm not proud of
but I am the best
Haiku # 998, January 3, 1999 4:42 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire !
a cheap cardboard head
stuffed with hamburger and dirt
with a note inside
Haiku # 997, January 3, 1999 4:25 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
first thoughts of the year:
who the fuck killed that bottle?
oh yeah, heh heh, me
Haiku # 996, January 3, 1999 4:11 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
gave the hog a sow
for xmas-jumped her bones promptly
male chauvinist pig?
Haiku # 995, January 2, 1999 3:56 am ET
by haikureaddis?twilight zone,
i tossa my bait
the fishee not like 2 much
no fishee for me
Haiku # 994, January 2, 1999 3:28 am ET
by doobygillisprudhoe bay,
the seahawks season
slaps at my olfactory
like sour milk but worse
Haiku # 993, January 1, 1999 7:27 am ET
by mike of Anchorage,
I'm going to party
like it's 1999.

Prince is annoying.
Haiku # 992, December 31, 1998 7:40 pm ET
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
cheese-scented jumpsuit!
a car made of rancid meat!
underwear for dogs!
Haiku # 991, December 31, 1998 1:48 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
when I was a boy
walking to school in spring
I'd drink or take drugs
Haiku # 990, December 31, 1998 1:43 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
the new year will bloom
while I sleep, my face against

the toilet's cool base
Haiku # 989, December 31, 1998 1:37 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
o celebration
earth is in that spot again
where hangovers spawn
Haiku # 988, December 31, 1998 5:35 am ET
by ashley of Oz
Cheerios are sweet
as they crunch in my mouth. Crunch!
I'll have more tomorrow.
Haiku # 987, December 30, 1998 11:09 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Where to eat tonight....
"I don't know,what do you want?"
"No, what do you want?"
Haiku # 986, December 30, 1998 11:05 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Snoots eats cheese wedges
Because he's a little rat!
He's so cute! Yippee!
Haiku # 985, December 30, 1998 11:02 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Large, malignant warts
Cover my grotesque body
I like to eat them.
Haiku # 984, December 30, 1998 10:56 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
killing mosquitoes
is that misogynistic?
only the girls bite
Haiku # 983, December 30, 1998 6:52 am ET
by ashley of Oz
addle my neurones
o delicious dacquiri
but no bed spins please
Haiku # 982, December 30, 1998 6:47 am ET
by ashley of Oz
Is this a joke Frank?
A kangaroo chia pet?
This present sucks ass
Haiku # 981, December 29, 1998 4:05 am ET
by AHHT
unavoidable
the hirsute of pappy-ness
ear and nostril hairs
Haiku # 980, December 28, 1998 6:21 am ET
by ashley of Oz
the postal worker
brings cheese and fancy mayo
with some dead crackers
Haiku # 979, December 26, 1998 4:06 am ET
by deeders of marietta, us
so glad its over
says the four leaf clover
Haiku # 978, December 25, 1998 2:51 pm ET
by Tag of LA, USA
A. and A. of Hai
Ku fame, Is you is or is
you ain't my babies?
Haiku # 977, December 24, 1998 1:50 pm ET
by Donkey Hotee of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Quantum mechanics
Whattsa matter? Can't grasp math?
Abacus, fuckface.
Haiku # 976, December 24, 1998 1:45 pm ET
by Ed Zealot of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Donkey wriggles. What?
Oh, halibut's thrombosis
Dead river jackass
Haiku # 975, December 24, 1998 1:39 pm ET
by Dr. Porpoise of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Soon, soon my birthday
Unite. Unite Capricorns!
With me and JESUS!!
Haiku # 974, December 24, 1998 1:33 pm ET
by Steve Fabulous of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
One eye brow raised, the
snotty waiter condescends:
"Are these your pants, sir?"

Haiku # 973, December 24, 1998 9:56 am ET
by Eddie Futch
You're entertaining,
unabashed, lewd, crude (tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
Haiku # 972, December 24, 1998 2:24 am ET
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
Boy! Did I ever
trash that last haiku
But I'msadder Budweiser
Haiku # 971, December 24, 1998 2:21 am ET
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
You're entertaining,
lewd, crude, rude,(tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
Haiku # 970, December 24, 1998 1:57 am ET
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
come here, little gal
wriggle into Santa's lap
there's a gift for you
Haiku # 969, December 23, 1998 9:17 pm ET
by Kadiz
come here, little gal
sit in Santa's cozy lap
I've a gift for you.
Haiku # 968, December 23, 1998 8:43 pm ET
by Kadiz
wonder if xmas
is that mas i used to know
before it left me?
Haiku # 967, December 23, 1998 6:57 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
Kiwi Soup Goddess
Barrel of potatoe grass
figure it out yourself
Haiku # 966, December 23, 1998 6:55 pm ET
by Marc of St. John's, Canada
Drinking Brill Cream
Has To be very contagious
Teddy Ruxpin has chicken legs
Haiku # 965, December 23, 1998 6:54 pm ET
by Marc of St. John's, Canada
a merry christmas
and a happy new year too
my fellow poets
Haiku # 964, December 23, 1998 6:53 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
go through ear, stab brain
three-tined fork, keep gauze handy
jagged lights, seizure
Haiku # 963, December 23, 1998 1:39 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Happy holidays
To those whose bad haikus made
Me bleed from the ears.
Haiku # 962, December 23, 1998 12:25 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Hmmm. As I scroll down
I notice that they follow.
Maybe the trailing?
Haiku # 961, December 23, 1998 9:39 am ET
by Kadiz
Kadiz, didn't you
mean the previous haikus
Not the following?
Haiku # 960, December 23, 1998 3:19 am ET
by AHHT
An anagram for
Monica Lewinsky is
"A lick wins money"
Haiku # 959, December 22, 1998 6:51 pm ET
by AHHT
Work before Christmas?
Cocks. Great big swollen purple
Horses' cocks on sticks.
Haiku # 958, December 22, 1998 12:29 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
the following two
by ashley and Rev'rend Jim
are really quite good
Haiku # 957, December 22, 1998 10:16 am ET
by Kadiz
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