Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 61 Days and 77459 Haiku later...

WOO HOO, WOO HOO, WOO
HOO, WOO HOO, WOO HOO, WOO HOO,
WOO HOO, WOO HOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku # 9696, April 29, 2001 4:03 pm ET
by ............................
WOO HOO, WOO HOO, WOO
HOO, WOO HOO, WOO HOO, WOO HOO,
WOO HOO, WOO HOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku # 9695, April 29, 2001 4:02 pm ET
by the orgasm!
WOO HOO, WOO HOO, WOO
HOO, WOO HOO, WOO HOO, WOO HOO,
WOO HOO, WOO HOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Haiku # 9694, April 29, 2001 4:01 pm ET
by !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ricercar

imagine music
drawn in, vanishing as you
listen, leaving you

i__ __
_ _, ___ _ _
__, __ you
Haiku # 9693, April 29, 2001 2:13 pm ET
by unconceding
tiny euro-can
packs a caffeinated punch
watch my heart rate rise!
Haiku # 9692, April 29, 2001 12:13 am ET
by editor dink of http://www.schoolofass.com
pour fire onto green
reddish, silken hairs light up
then bubble bubble
Haiku # 9691, April 29, 2001 12:12 am ET
by editor dink of http://www.schoolofass.com
there's root chakra
and reproductive organs
prefer root chakra
Haiku # 9690, April 28, 2001 11:59 am ET
by mellie
Superman's kneecap
was never as hard as this!
after sixteen years

this woman drives me.
who said love lasts forever
and lust just a while?

Haiku # 9689, April 28, 2001 11:11 am ET
by ap - to correct bad editing
Superman's kneecap
was never as this!
after sixteen years

this woman drives me.
who said love lasts forever
and lust just a while?
Haiku # 9688, April 28, 2001 11:02 am ET
by ap
upstairs there's snoring
coming from master bedroom
shakes the foundations

of a good night's sleep
if I go and snuggle in
what will happen then?
Haiku # 9687, April 28, 2001 10:30 am ET
by mellie
sweet little Maggie
brindle boxer at my feet
she snores so softly
Haiku # 9686, April 28, 2001 10:26 am ET
by mellie
after thirteen years
he's more dead now than alive.
i wonder if he knows.
Haiku # 9685, April 28, 2001 10:20 am ET
by ap
big ass brown dog lies
farting, sleeping, at my feet.
loves me more than wife.
Haiku # 9684, April 28, 2001 10:16 am ET
by ap
Booze in the blender
the taste and all the splendor
You're a haiku, too
Haiku # 9683, April 27, 2001 11:17 pm ET
by bender of Virginia Slums
Mine Yuengling Lager
Taunting head and naughty row
what beads on my brau?

titillating brew
amber body in green case
peptide strobe light stew

I'm in a coma
for the taste and aroma
were too much for me
Haiku # 9682, April 27, 2001 11:14 pm ET
by bender of Virginia Slums
I have have a playstation 2
I play with my playstation 2
I like my playstation 2
I broke my Playstation 2
I'm shedding tears over my playstation 2
The next Playstation 2 i see...
i will break in 2
Haiku # 9681, April 27, 2001 10:26 pm ET
by Frank
I wish i could read time better
that way my peoms would be nicer
There's nothing like an accuretly timed Poem
...
Ewwww did i just write that?
Haiku # 9680, April 27, 2001 10:23 pm ET
by Frank
Ummm... Its ten O'clock
Whatever shall I do? Eh...
Ah F_ck this Sh_t!
I'm going to bed.
Haiku # 9679, April 27, 2001 10:21 pm ET
by Frank
state the obvious
sun is hot water is wet
oink_oink's haiku's suck
Haiku # 9678, April 27, 2001 9:46 pm ET
by oink_oink of the land of chocolate
call mister plow that's
my name, that name again is
mister plow! woo hoo!
Haiku # 9677, April 27, 2001 9:44 pm ET
by oink_oink of that name again is oink_oink
poetry is shit
oh dear, did I just swear then?
feel free to spank me
Haiku # 9676, April 27, 2001 9:42 pm ET
by oink_oink of the land of chocolate
can you tell I'm bored?
it sure beats dancing naked
in front of my cat
Haiku # 9675, April 27, 2001 9:40 pm ET
by oink_oink of the land of chocolate
mmm mediciney
yes I am evil homer!
evil I tells ya!
Haiku # 9674, April 27, 2001 9:39 pm ET
by oink_oink of the land of chocolate
caffeine is your friend
remember not to pass out
sleep is for the weak
Haiku # 9673, April 27, 2001 9:35 pm ET
by oink_oink of the land of chocolate
I am a retard
a haiku is supposed to
be constructed thus
Haiku # 9672, April 27, 2001 9:34 pm ET
by oink_oink of the land of chocolate
my name is oink oink
and I'm an alcoholic
Haiku # 9671, April 27, 2001 9:33 pm ET
by oink_oink of the land of chocolate
nearly an hour
later, Associated
Poet couldn't stay

hooray, an hour
after he I got to do
what's natural to me
- snatch your all!
Haiku # 9670, April 27, 2001 6:53 pm ET
by Miss Everything
oh boy it's mine
backwards and forwards: Sixty-
Nine! ninety-sex times!
Haiku # 9669, April 27, 2001 6:48 pm ET
by Miss Everything
I would like to stay,
but something has just come up.
Now you smell like feet
Haiku # 9668, April 27, 2001 5:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I would like to stay,
but something has just come up.
You smell like feet
Haiku # 9667, April 27, 2001 5:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I want to do 9-
6-6-9, but I can't stick
around that long, darn!
Haiku # 9666, April 27, 2001 4:28 pm ET
by MissEverything
I was once in the
military; I KNOW these
things... THAT was stupid!
Haiku # 9665, April 27, 2001 4:26 pm ET
by unconceding
poor saint, but then those
"other guys" were really the
ones cheated in fuck.
Haiku # 9664, April 27, 2001 4:24 pm ET
by boo
I lost her for good.
she's staring down the barrel
of a wedding ring.
Haiku # 9663, April 27, 2001 2:07 pm ET
by Jamie
deteriorating instincts
unrelenting tear my skin off
disgust screaming rip away
Haiku # 9662, April 27, 2001 12:56 pm ET
by Ophelia of Ohio
lollipops to eat
fat children bitch about shit
can see his own prick
Haiku # 9661, April 27, 2001 12:21 pm ET
by Staves of Little Rock
get the caronas
turn on the fridge buy the food
when's the house warming! (OOPS!)
Haiku # 9660, April 27, 2001 12:11 pm ET
by mellie
my last girlfriend she
said she loved me, even when
fucking other men
Haiku # 9659, April 27, 2001 11:43 am ET
by Saint
A typical date:
Me: "Did you have a good time?"
Her: "No, and don't call."
Haiku # 9658, April 27, 2001 11:42 am ET
by Saint
What will it get me?
Lots of time spent all alone
just me and my house
Haiku # 9657, April 27, 2001 11:39 am ET
by Saint
House being rebuilt
from fire, I may move back in
next weeknd yippie!
Haiku # 9656, April 27, 2001 11:38 am ET
by Saint
Pathetic - I am
for even Bulgarian
women ignore me.
Haiku # 9655, April 27, 2001 11:37 am ET
by Saint
Another weekend
arriving, two more days with
no worthy women.
Haiku # 9654, April 27, 2001 11:36 am ET
by Saint
Cause I'm not in my
place of peace yet, the house on
that sand, like that Bush
Kennebunkport time

We see the news yeah
and that is all then, what's he
really like...no one knows
Haiku # 9653, April 27, 2001 10:53 am ET
by Moxie of I'm still shockable...
All these pierced faces
Not really anything wrong
but a culture change
Haiku # 9652, April 27, 2001 10:51 am ET
by Moxie of green earrings...
They say Christians aren't
left hand path? but to go there?
That Long Dark Night of the Soul

Cause the flood ain't broke
or we're still sick for real...
I want joy in this life
Haiku # 9651, April 27, 2001 10:50 am ET
by Moxie of progress/darkness
play a song for me
ain't no place I'm going to
take me for a trip
Haiku # 9650, April 27, 2001 7:56 am ET
by mellie,away with the Byrds
strange stillness today
crickets and distant thunder
the ocean is grey
Haiku # 9649, April 27, 2001 4:33 am ET
by mellie
I can't fall asleep.
Haiku saves my sanity.
Someone stop me please.
Haiku # 9648, April 27, 2001 2:54 am ET
by Emily
I live on a farm
Rollerblading on gravel
Oh! The grasshoppers!
Haiku # 9647, April 27, 2001 2:51 am ET
by Alison of Your pants
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