he gets free tickets
to everything in this town
but he never goes.

he thinks of weight loss
you're not fat, i want to scream
would he listen? no.

the school library,
so dark and so gloomy, is
always much too hot.

why so sad, ferret?
i wish you would feel better
have a lovely day.

if i end up like
my dad - alcoholic, sad -
i will shoot myself

i can't stand it when
i'm eating a lollipop
and the stick falls off.

sitting on toilet
contemplating my penis
shit splashes below

but its no bother
i like the sound of water
peaceful and calming

and while you're at it,
could you please destroy berlin?
germans bother me.

dear jesus lord god,
i need a blow job so bad.
please send a cute girl.

small tits are o k
and i don't need to fuck her.
do let her swallow.

not sure what to do
want to work but i was
prepared for worst

tom robbin's "peach fish".
i couldn't agree any more.
she is delicious.

any morning you
can walk away from unscathed
must be a good one.

how much i tried to
be unlike my father, but
others see the same.

when the shitrain falls
hide wherever you can hide.
wait for quiet, peace.

slam your fist on door.
don't turn and strike in return.
she's too dumb to know.

cannot give you much.
time has eroded my soul.
all i have is tears.

Rolling on malcom
jaws clenching seratonin
strichnine takes over

ecstasy at work
makes it hard to concentrate
but my desk feels cool

thanks Mellie for
your sympathetic haiku
less melancholy

work through this with me
you are not alone
all i want is joy for your life

don't Anonymous
that made me feel so sad mate
my heart aches for you

i really broke down
this trouble i'm having now
is breaking my heart

She said to me once,
"Could you not be negative?"
I pondered, said, "No."

It was a woman
Who drove me to drinking. I
Never did thank her.

WC Fields

Richard Hoagland

was it sacrifice?
or insult / elf or gremlin:
spiked thothmosis down

free spirit sass
to setting comet, raising
doubts, orion out.

science is laughed AT
by lab rats of little brane
and those in the know

She lingers longer
when his cock is longer. In
science we never laugh

he lingers longer
when his ring finger's longer
could be old wive's tale

to assist science
I should volunteer now
to test the theory

swinish behavour
to say the least Ash, pollster
uncomfortable

buchanon for prez -
least votes - played a real Tiger
Woods game - like a pro!

over a barrel
porked by a politician
motive not votive

i spit on your beard!
wipe my ass with your guthra!
Change that shit stained thobe!

humping a headstone
you call that necromancy ?
it's a grave mistake

You think we are lose!
Ha! We got lottsa rocks here!
High tech bus bombs, too!

terrence, not a bit
homophobic - observant
of gay-trek haiku

according to punk
baddy's analysis, (he
who eats shit, shits eats)

greedy organic
family farmers are what wrecked
his america.

Fucking shit. Lost my
laudnum. Buy a poor begger
a whiskey, eh mate?

Corn? Corn? Don't recall
eating corn. But the contrast
is quite artistic.

Here's boo's finest moment!

"mini skirts glued to breasts:
ah, Sex Trek - prepubescent
queers dream Spock bugs Kirk/* "

Boo wrote this!
True genius. Just a little homophobic.
What's with the fuckin asterisk?

warm day, went without
panties, backpack lifted skirt
at water fountain^

i should be reading
speech by nelson mandella
'stead i'm on the net.

You're welcome, boo.
Now go get that prick bastard.
I worship you, boo.

i got the squirts!
Soiled my fucking bloomers!
just one trickey fart.

thanks terrance. not boo
when you say mommy wipes then
everyone knows you!

so don't ap-pologize, phoney

That settles it, boo.
I apologise. Really.
Fuck my ass now. Please?

Go boo go! Beat that
Yankee drekbag. Beat him good!
Boo, best haiku here!

My education
is lacking. Please forgive me.
Mommy wipes my ass.

9330,9331 not boo
but I flunkede rubber
when I ribbed you