Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 63 Days and 77460 Haiku later...

Damn pressure extreme.
Sphincter torqued to red line now!
Hydrolaser shit.
Haiku # 9214, April 17, 2001 6:07 am ET
by ap
Poor silly baBoon!
Prozac? Elavil? Zoloft?
Play nice or suffer.



Haiku # 9213, April 17, 2001 6:01 am ET
by ap
caressed lovingly
his tools are greased and oily
O he'll come again

this whippersnipper
wildly weilding that big thing
makes me go crazy

he comes every week
fires that thing up and buzzes
till he finishes
Haiku # 9212, April 17, 2001 2:54 am ET
by mellie
better yet-

rain flowers of spring
like vulvas of silver pee;
feel when urine me!
Haiku # 9211, April 17, 2001 12:31 am ET
by Miss Everything
the flowers of spring
like vulvas of silver pee...
feel when urine me!
Haiku # 9210, April 17, 2001 12:29 am ET
by Miss Everything
not fine, no cure no
soul. Hope there's no tomorrow,
Superduperman!
Haiku # 9209, April 16, 2001 11:55 pm ET
by boo
Is this a job for
Superman? No. But mellie
haiku will do fine.
Haiku # 9208, April 16, 2001 11:34 pm ET
by ap
Tune in tomorrow
for poo poo jokes. Much laughter.
A cure for the soul.
Haiku # 9207, April 16, 2001 11:31 pm ET
by ap to tracy
More sensitive souls
might convey more love and hope.
My sad failure.
Haiku # 9206, April 16, 2001 11:24 pm ET
by ap
This affliction, so
seemingly immutable,
serves growth of spirit.

Haiku # 9205, April 16, 2001 11:13 pm ET
by ap of to tracy
i wish this sickness
would end and leave me in peace
tuberculosis?
Haiku # 9204, April 16, 2001 10:52 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
dammit, i'm so mad
cute guy who flirted with me
stood me up. bastard.
Haiku # 9203, April 16, 2001 10:50 pm ET
by tracy puddle
i churn out haiku
like an old maid churning the
old cow's fresh butter
Haiku # 9202, April 16, 2001 10:49 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
listening to gus
- now guster - fills me with so
derned much happiness
Haiku # 9201, April 16, 2001 10:48 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
the phantom tollbooth
signed by norton jester is
sitting on my shelf
Haiku # 9200, April 16, 2001 10:47 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
it's too fucking hot
roasting in my pajamas
wish i had a/c
Haiku # 9199, April 16, 2001 10:45 pm ET
by tracy of portland
fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa i wanna
be sedated. gone
Haiku # 9198, April 16, 2001 8:57 pm ET
by bruce
KISS blows a farewell
flickering tongue suggestive
more than kiss to cum
Haiku # 9197, April 16, 2001 7:46 pm ET
by mellie
giving up cold pork
crossed buns off the shopping list
christmas is coming
Haiku # 9196, April 16, 2001 7:41 pm ET
by mellie
Tonight, I shall eat:
sausage, onions, red peppers
and quaff many beers.

Tomorrow I shall
shit with the power of Thor!
Stand by for details.
Haiku # 9195, April 16, 2001 6:43 pm ET
by ap
the watchdog in the
phantom toolbooth has warrant
out for your arrest
Haiku # 9194, April 16, 2001 6:07 pm ET
by ferret70 of chicago
hey naw, take from the
sublime, not your down time to
make up some Bad rhyme.
Haiku # 9193, April 16, 2001 5:26 pm ET
by boo
boredom at this desk
Bad Haiku will kill some time
but not very much
Haiku # 9192, April 16, 2001 5:23 pm ET
by Na Na of Sick Building
back to the foofer
k for crap, c for shit: till
someone waxes Poe.
Haiku # 9191, April 16, 2001 5:23 pm ET
by boo
Time blows calm across
Voices raised in simple song
Hearing everthing.
Haiku # 9190, April 16, 2001 5:00 pm ET
by Grog of Seattle
Broken nose in cast
Cause is other person's hand
Grog do the beat down!
Haiku # 9189, April 16, 2001 4:58 pm ET
by Grog of Seattle
we asstronauts write
nothing butt haikus about
Uranus; Black Holes
Haiku # 9188, April 16, 2001 4:38 pm ET
by Optional
Kiss of life? For me?
AWESOME! If the same kiss I
am referring to..
Haiku # 9187, April 16, 2001 4:14 pm ET
by Saint - to Mellie
I have returned now.
I was out mining today.
Mining my colon!
Haiku # 9186, April 16, 2001 4:04 pm ET
by Saint
stretch swollen sphincter
disgorge a fecal froth feast
were you done eating?
Haiku # 9185, April 16, 2001 3:58 pm ET
by Drophammer of from house arrest under official protest
Drop and rejoice, now!
My meager contributions -
mutilated verse.
Haiku # 9184, April 16, 2001 3:55 pm ET
by ap
I am alone now
Priest and Saint, like better men
Are gone from this place...
Haiku # 9183, April 16, 2001 3:44 pm ET
by Drophammer of a state for mourning
Small breath? Little shits?
I thought everything's bigger
in the lonestar state.
Haiku # 9182, April 16, 2001 3:22 pm ET
by Optional
I held a small breath
little shits, water slide, laugh.
Why is beer poo stew?
Haiku # 9181, April 16, 2001 2:16 pm ET
by Buns_of_Steel of Dallas, TX
I'm jazzed about breeze
wonderfully necessary
to feel sans clothing
Haiku # 9180, April 16, 2001 11:52 am ET
by optional
refashion passion
phoenix rising from the ash
given kiss of life
Haiku # 9179, April 16, 2001 11:08 am ET
by mellie
Haiku # 9178, April 16, 2001 10:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Go Directly to
jail, do not pass go, do not
collect two hundred.
Haiku # 9177, April 16, 2001 10:12 am ET
by ? Chance ? of Alexandria
so much is taken
from my paycheck that it hurts
then I pay even more
Haiku # 9176, April 16, 2001 9:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
K - K is for Kat
C - C is for cudos? no?
C is for ..... critic!
Haiku # 9175, April 16, 2001 7:03 am ET
by ap
thirty-five hours' work
but soon they'll let me go home
my resurrection
Haiku # 9174, April 16, 2001 4:02 am ET
by ash
lots of people write
poems with beauty in them
but not human shit
Haiku # 9173, April 16, 2001 1:17 am ET
by Captain Tantalizing
this is one i came up with waaaaay back in high school:

oh no, godzilla!
planes and guns cannot stop him
tokyo's in ruins
Haiku # 9172, April 16, 2001 1:06 am ET
by adam j. kuhn
cudos those who aren't
stuck on the idea this
is bad toilet page
Haiku # 9171, April 16, 2001 12:26 am ET
by boo
"secretly disguised
as Clerk Kunt frights an ever
bending waffle of..."
Haiku # 9170, April 16, 2001 12:25 am ET
by Superduperman of daily planet
first sunday off in
thirty years and I gotta
get up at sunrise!
Haiku # 9169, April 16, 2001 12:19 am ET
by Jesus
Ah, Easter breakfast
pork products, hash browns and eggs
long nap, monster poo
Haiku # 9168, April 15, 2001 11:44 pm ET
by Bung Daddy
in seventh grade class
knew a girl named mariel
her breath stunk. badly.
Haiku # 9167, April 15, 2001 11:34 pm ET
by tracy
bratty kids playing
neighbours mowing tiny lawns
ah, suburbia
Haiku # 9166, April 15, 2001 11:31 pm ET
by tracy
bright platform sandals
imitation leather coats
how we love the mall
Haiku # 9165, April 15, 2001 11:30 pm ET
by tracy
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