Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 63 Days and 77460 Haiku later...

dammit, i'm so mad
cute guy who flirted with me
stood me up. bastard.
Haiku # 9203, April 16, 2001 10:50 pm ET
by tracy puddle
i churn out haiku
like an old maid churning the
old cow's fresh butter
Haiku # 9202, April 16, 2001 10:49 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
listening to gus
- now guster - fills me with so
derned much happiness
Haiku # 9201, April 16, 2001 10:48 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
the phantom tollbooth
signed by norton jester is
sitting on my shelf
Haiku # 9200, April 16, 2001 10:47 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
it's too fucking hot
roasting in my pajamas
wish i had a/c
Haiku # 9199, April 16, 2001 10:45 pm ET
by tracy of portland
fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa i wanna
be sedated. gone
Haiku # 9198, April 16, 2001 8:57 pm ET
by bruce
KISS blows a farewell
flickering tongue suggestive
more than kiss to cum
Haiku # 9197, April 16, 2001 7:46 pm ET
by mellie
giving up cold pork
crossed buns off the shopping list
christmas is coming
Haiku # 9196, April 16, 2001 7:41 pm ET
by mellie
Tonight, I shall eat:
sausage, onions, red peppers
and quaff many beers.

Tomorrow I shall
shit with the power of Thor!
Stand by for details.
Haiku # 9195, April 16, 2001 6:43 pm ET
by ap
the watchdog in the
phantom toolbooth has warrant
out for your arrest
Haiku # 9194, April 16, 2001 6:07 pm ET
by ferret70 of chicago
hey naw, take from the
sublime, not your down time to
make up some Bad rhyme.
Haiku # 9193, April 16, 2001 5:26 pm ET
by boo
boredom at this desk
Bad Haiku will kill some time
but not very much
Haiku # 9192, April 16, 2001 5:23 pm ET
by Na Na of Sick Building
back to the foofer
k for crap, c for shit: till
someone waxes Poe.
Haiku # 9191, April 16, 2001 5:23 pm ET
by boo
Time blows calm across
Voices raised in simple song
Hearing everthing.
Haiku # 9190, April 16, 2001 5:00 pm ET
by Grog of Seattle
Broken nose in cast
Cause is other person's hand
Grog do the beat down!
Haiku # 9189, April 16, 2001 4:58 pm ET
by Grog of Seattle
we asstronauts write
nothing butt haikus about
Uranus; Black Holes
Haiku # 9188, April 16, 2001 4:38 pm ET
by Optional
Kiss of life? For me?
AWESOME! If the same kiss I
am referring to..
Haiku # 9187, April 16, 2001 4:14 pm ET
by Saint - to Mellie
I have returned now.
I was out mining today.
Mining my colon!
Haiku # 9186, April 16, 2001 4:04 pm ET
by Saint
stretch swollen sphincter
disgorge a fecal froth feast
were you done eating?
Haiku # 9185, April 16, 2001 3:58 pm ET
by Drophammer of from house arrest under official protest
Drop and rejoice, now!
My meager contributions -
mutilated verse.
Haiku # 9184, April 16, 2001 3:55 pm ET
by ap
I am alone now
Priest and Saint, like better men
Are gone from this place...
Haiku # 9183, April 16, 2001 3:44 pm ET
by Drophammer of a state for mourning
Small breath? Little shits?
I thought everything's bigger
in the lonestar state.
Haiku # 9182, April 16, 2001 3:22 pm ET
by Optional
I held a small breath
little shits, water slide, laugh.
Why is beer poo stew?
Haiku # 9181, April 16, 2001 2:16 pm ET
by Buns_of_Steel of Dallas, TX
I'm jazzed about breeze
wonderfully necessary
to feel sans clothing
Haiku # 9180, April 16, 2001 11:52 am ET
by optional
refashion passion
phoenix rising from the ash
given kiss of life
Haiku # 9179, April 16, 2001 11:08 am ET
by mellie
Haiku # 9178, April 16, 2001 10:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Go Directly to
jail, do not pass go, do not
collect two hundred.
Haiku # 9177, April 16, 2001 10:12 am ET
by ? Chance ? of Alexandria
so much is taken
from my paycheck that it hurts
then I pay even more
Haiku # 9176, April 16, 2001 9:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
K - K is for Kat
C - C is for cudos? no?
C is for ..... critic!
Haiku # 9175, April 16, 2001 7:03 am ET
by ap
thirty-five hours' work
but soon they'll let me go home
my resurrection
Haiku # 9174, April 16, 2001 4:02 am ET
by ash
lots of people write
poems with beauty in them
but not human shit
Haiku # 9173, April 16, 2001 1:17 am ET
by Captain Tantalizing
this is one i came up with waaaaay back in high school:

oh no, godzilla!
planes and guns cannot stop him
tokyo's in ruins
Haiku # 9172, April 16, 2001 1:06 am ET
by adam j. kuhn
cudos those who aren't
stuck on the idea this
is bad toilet page
Haiku # 9171, April 16, 2001 12:26 am ET
by boo
"secretly disguised
as Clerk Kunt frights an ever
bending waffle of..."
Haiku # 9170, April 16, 2001 12:25 am ET
by Superduperman of daily planet
first sunday off in
thirty years and I gotta
get up at sunrise!
Haiku # 9169, April 16, 2001 12:19 am ET
by Jesus
Ah, Easter breakfast
pork products, hash browns and eggs
long nap, monster poo
Haiku # 9168, April 15, 2001 11:44 pm ET
by Bung Daddy
in seventh grade class
knew a girl named mariel
her breath stunk. badly.
Haiku # 9167, April 15, 2001 11:34 pm ET
by tracy
bratty kids playing
neighbours mowing tiny lawns
ah, suburbia
Haiku # 9166, April 15, 2001 11:31 pm ET
by tracy
bright platform sandals
imitation leather coats
how we love the mall
Haiku # 9165, April 15, 2001 11:30 pm ET
by tracy
bustling china town
the scent of yakisoba
mingled with soy sauce
Haiku # 9164, April 15, 2001 11:30 pm ET
by tracy
where'd you get this guy?
he's gone mad; will kill us all
oh, he's from texas
Haiku # 9163, April 15, 2001 11:29 pm ET
by tracy
doesn't care about
arsenic in our water
bush sucks dick [cheney]
Haiku # 9162, April 15, 2001 11:28 pm ET
by tracy
she kisses the frog
he becomes a handsome prince
in real life, a toad
Haiku # 9161, April 15, 2001 11:27 pm ET
by tracy
a princess's cry
i will not marry that man
that prince is such a toad
Haiku # 9160, April 15, 2001 11:27 pm ET
by tracy
a psycho killer
i like you, norman bates but
your smile scares me so
Haiku # 9159, April 15, 2001 11:26 pm ET
by tracy
silence of the lambs
hannibal the cannibal
anthony hopkins
Haiku # 9158, April 15, 2001 11:25 pm ET
by tracy
everything's funny
laughing until you are crying
a wee bit tipsy
Haiku # 9157, April 15, 2001 11:25 pm ET
by tracy
foreign jackie chan
doesn't speak english but he
can do crazy stunts
Haiku # 9156, April 15, 2001 11:25 pm ET
by tracy of portland
My heart hurts today.
Love can truly suck beaucoup:
so would life without.
Haiku # 9155, April 15, 2001 3:04 pm ET
by Windsong
old-un "austrailun"
will never believe the world
worth anything else
Haiku # 9154, April 15, 2001 2:42 pm ET
by boo
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